Erised stra eh
by Red Snowsled
Summary: A bright, young Auror and a veteran professor somehow fall in love, despite differences and Dark wizards.  This is the Tonks and Remus back story that we didn't get. This summary is terrible, but the story's much better.  Ch 14 up.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Thanks for reading my fanfiction. This is a Tonks/Remus fic and my take on their relationship that sort of faded into the background of the last three books. Some of the events are slightly skewed or take liberties from canon, but please bear with me.

Happy reading.

* * *

_June _

"This is Nymphadora Tonks," said Albus Dumbledore, introducing her to the four men. She was a young woman with a navy blue bob and green eyebrows.

"Just Tonks, Professor," corrected Tonks good-naturedly. Dumbledore gave her a lenient smile.

"As you like, Tonks. And this is Kingsley Shacklebolt-"

"How do you do?" The wizard bowed his head courteously. She had recognized him from work, but had never spoken to him.

"-and you know Severus Snape-" (she was offered a quick nod of the head from her old Potions master) "-Arthur Weasley-"

"Nice to meet you."

"-and Remus Lupin."

"Hello," said the final man, shaking her hand.

"Hi," she seemed to say only to him. She smiled at all of them.

"And Tonks, you will know Alastor Moody-"

"Mad-Eye!" she said suddenly. "He's here?"

"-as well as your cousin, Sirius Black. 12 Grimmauld Place is his house."

"No way!" said Tonks, grinning with curiosity and excitement. "This is the Black house? Where my mother came from?" The small group stepped inside and the door closed. The light that came from outside went into darkness, and the smell of something rotting was in the air. Several of the wizards fetched their wands to light their way. "Huh. Now I know where she gets it from."

They made their way into the parlor. All the furniture was black and emerald green—or at least it had been when it was new. Now it was deep gray and grayish green. Sirius Black was sitting on the couch. Tonks started when she saw him, fidgeting slightly. Dumbledore had explained to her personally the details of Sirius' innocence. It had been difficult for Tonks to understand; so many people she didn't know had been involved and it had been a rather dark time, clouding the truth. But she trusted Dumbledore's word.

"What's wrong?" he asked with a grin. "Haven't seen your cousin Sirius in awhile?"

"Oh, not so long ago," she said with malaise. "Mostly on 'Wanted' posters."

"Not exactly my best side," he said with a teasing look. "Heard you're an Auror, now?"

A few of the company looked at her with surprise.

"Yeah," she said modestly, looking down from the appraising gazes. "Just finished my last exams a few months ago."

"Congratulations," said Kingsley Shacklebolt.

"There was a time I once aspired to be an Auror," added Black wistfully. "Then, well, stuff got in the way. Namely, Voldemort."

"Let's not say the name," said Snape pointedly at Black.

The room seemed to lose air. Snape was glaring at Black, and Black at Snape. They were mirrors of loathing.

It did not take Tonks' three years of Auror training to understand that there was bad blood between Snape and her cousin.

"Severus, I think it is time for us to be getting back to Hogwarts," said Dumbledore lightly. He headed for the fireplace, pulling a pouch out of his pocket. Snape followed him, keeping his eyes on Black with a look of unadulterated hatred. A bit of the powder from the pouch was tossed into the fire, turning it green. Severus went first, then Dumbledore.

"Hmm. Let me guess, you guys are best friends," said Tonks as Dumbledore disappeared. Lupin chuckled quietly, while Sirius smirked uncomfortably.

"He's a slimy git." The energy that had built up relaxed, and he looked rather awkward now.

"Come on," Lupin said, trying to smooth over the discomfort that the fierce emotions were causing Shacklebolt and Weasley. "Nymphadora is probably hungry, it's nearly dinnertime." The others went ahead gratefully into the dining room. Tonks walked behind Remus.

"Remus," she said, placing her hand on his shoulder so that he turned slightly toward her. "It's Tonks. Okay?"

"Right," he said slowly. "Tonks." He turned back and went to the kitchen to start making dinner, the place on his shoulder tingling slightly.

* * *

The next morning, Remus and Sirius looked up, panicking, seeing a woman they had never seen before come down the stairs. She had long, rich brown hair and soft-looking lips.

The two men looked at each other. She didn't seem to be a Death Eater.

"Good morning, Remus. Sirius."

"Excuse me, Miss, can we help you?" Sirius asked warily.

"This is a private home," added Remus.

"It's me, Tonks," said the woman, confused. "Oh wait, he didn't tell you? Sorry, just a second. What was it yesterday? Oh yeah…" Then she crossed her eyes, concentrating. The long brown hair shrunk into the navy blue bob, the soft lips shrunk into thinner ones, and her eyebrows turned green. Remus and Sirius looked at each other.

"Is that Polyjuice Potion?" asked Sirius. "Or some sort of spell?"

"No," said Remus curiously. "She's a Metamorphmagus."

"I thought you knew," she said to Sirius, as she reverted to her brown-haired appearance. "I mean, I would think my mother would have mentioned it."

"I haven't spoken to your mother since I ran away from home, about the time she was pregnant with you," he said, both amazed and sad. "How is she?"

"Oh, fine," replied Tonks. "She's such a housewitch, though. Never wanted a house elf."

"I remember," laughed Sirius, genuinely smiling for the first time. "Your mother was my favorite cousin." He was silent for a moment with a beaming look of relief on his face. The other two watched him carefully. "Your father is probably the reason I'm not a Death Eater today."

"What?" they both asked at once, surprised.

"Well, who knows. Anyway, when I was just a tyke, my teenage cousin Andromeda would be sneaking out of the house to go meet a Muggle-born, Ted Tonks. I was their messenger sometimes—she would send me out of the house, and I would recite a time or a date, or an apology."

"Seriously?" asked Tonks, grinning.

"Yeah. She would take me with her out of the house, on the pretense of going on walks or pestering Muggles. They would take me to the Muggle fairs, restaurants, buy me ice cream and let me play alone for awhile why they snogged."

"No way. My parents don't even hug in front of me." Lupin laughed and Tonks stared incredulously.

"Anytime, anywhere—it was a snogfest. Anyway, sometimes I'd go out alone to see Ted by myself. He'd buy me Muggle chocolate, which is actually much better than wizard chocolate. And Muggle toys or books, which were all new to me. Anything Muggle had to be burned in my house. By knowing Ted, I realized all the horrible things my parents told me about Muggles were lies. I dreaded them and their ideals. I decided I wanted to be in Gryffindor instead of Slytherin."

"And it all went from there?" asked Lupin.

"It all went from there. In my fourth year, Andromeda couldn't put off being married anymore. My aunt forced her to choose between her Muggle boyfriend Ted Tonks or her pureblood brother-in-law, Rabastan Lestrange. She ran away with Ted, far out of town. I was the only Black at her wedding. When my parents found out I went, it caused a huge argument. That was the breaking point."

"You ran away to James' parents' house," Lupin finished.

"Rabastan Lestrange? Mum never told me!" Tonks exclaimed, perplexed. "Disgusting!"

"Let's not make ourselves sick before breakfast," said Sirius.

Tonks compiled some reports for work during the empty hours. She always relieved Arthur Weasley's watch duty at midnight, then switched with Hestia Jones around half past three. The Ministry employees always got the night hour watch so that it wouldn't interfere with day business. Tonks yawned as she scribbled her signature on some papers. It would be dawn in an hour or so, and a few hours after that she would need to be at her desk in the Ministry.

She finished her writing on the parchment, folded it, and stuffed it inside her robes. Sleeping was now an option, but she saw Remus Lupin, lying back on a couch, his mouth open slightly as he dreamed.

Strangely fascinated, she went over to sit near him, accidentally stubbing her toe on a table as she went over. She cursed quietly but did not wake him.

She studied his face with interest. It was pitted in some places, scarred in others, but underneath it was gentle and kind, and all over it was tired. His hair was gray prematurely, although ginger in the places where it was true. She tenderly swept a lock out of his closed eyes. He breathed deeply through lips that did not have wrinkles. It didn't make sense that he was this tired; something terrible had happened or was happening to him and she didn't understand.

She had known him for a few weeks now. They had played chess, talked about their times at Hogwarts, and cooked together. He was great company, always with an interesting story, and always helpful. She admired his character greatly—one of humility, patience and compassion. She supposed he was brave as well—otherwise, he would have been in Hufflepuff, like her.

"What are you doing?" asked Sirius. He had a butterbeer in his hand. Tonks was caught, lingering over Remus' head.

"I—I'm trying to decide what design to put on his face, curly mustache or cat whiskers. Or is that too mean?" she asked. Black laughed.

"Hm, public humiliation for public sleeping seems fair," he said with a grin, "but he's quite peaky. I'd leave him be, he has a good reason for being tired."

"Like what? He has the day shift and he doesn't work. As far as I can tell, he just skulks around here all day."

Sirius looked miffed at this description. Tonks realized that she had just described Sirius' status as well.

"He's just tired. He has a—a condition, and he's rather private about it, so we should leave him alone, okay?" He stalked off to the kitchen for an early breakfast.

"'Kay," said Tonks in wary submission. She pulled away from Remus' face and sat back, her pulse racing slightly. What was wrong with her? Fancying Lupin? She was supposed to be fighting Voldemort and doing Auror-ish things, not looking for dates. The irony of her mother's weak (if not motivated by love) argument of why she shouldn't join the Order was clear: 'You shouldn't be running around after Dark wizards, how are you going to find a husband? Who would marry such a tomboy?'

_I must be desperate_, a voice in her head said. _He's a lot older than me. _

She looked back at his tufts of ginger hair.

_Kind of cute though._

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

"Fudge is denying," said Tonks, floored, dropping the Daily Prophet. "I can't believe this."

"Can't you?" asked Shacklebolt wearily, picking it up. "Fudge is weak and he knows it. He could never stand up to He Who Must Not Be Named and live to tell about it. Of course, he knows if he tries, he brings down the whole Ministry and plunges the Wizarding world into chaos."

"Probably not even thinking that far ahead," said Sirius. "Probably just dreading a curse to his own chest, I'd reckon."

"At any rate," Lupin said calmly, "we know that the Ministry can't be counted on. We, Dumbledore's only men, are quite alone."

The thought was a sobering one and no one spoke for a moment. A feeling of doom and tension seemed to echo in the room and stagnate. Tonks felt a few prickles of fear for what she was getting herself into.

"And woman," she said with a half-laugh. "Dumbledore's only woman!"

It wasn't enough to make the men chuckle, but a few smiled and it cut the tension and fear away for the time being. Shacklebolt invited Sirius to a game of chess, giving Tonks a healthy dose of humorous irony considering his Ministry assignment. Lupin took up the Daily Prophet that Shacklebolt had set down to study it in detail.

The thought of just these few wizards taking on the most fearsome Dark wizard of the age—and his vicious, influential Death Eaters—made her feel a small despair growing inside of her.

A childhood memory surfaced; she was about eight or nine and her parents were visiting her father's sister on the other side of the town. Tonks—or Dora, as she was known to her family—had, as usual, been an extremely naughty and mischievous child on the visit. Her aunt picked her up, exasperated at the peanut butter mess all over the kitchen.

"If you don't behave," said her aunt, as Ted and his wife were cleaning the house from Dora's babyish rampage, "I'll tell that one bad magician—what was his name—Voldemort—to come after you when you sleep!" The aunt had thought she had said something rather funny, an empty threat like 'the boogey man' or 'the monster in your closet' that would make Tonks laugh and settle down. It had had the opposite effect; the room went gravely silent. Andromeda had taken Dora out of her aunt's arms, swiftly and wordlessly, and walked out the door, leaving an upset husband to explain and clean up the peanut butter conundrum. Tonks had never heard the name before and didn't understand why her mother was so upset.

And it was sixteen years later, and story by story, death by death impressed upon her with fresh grief. No one seemed to guess how these things impacted her, how soft she really was underneath. Superficially, she was an overgrown a rebellious teenager, which she knew she must soon outgrow to become a fully solemn and formidable Auror.

_All those people he killed...why? _

"I know," said Remus, after laying down the paper. Tonks' eyes snapped up. "So many people. And even more will die before this war is over."

"Are you a Legilimens?" asked Tonks quickly. This was bad, she should be able to know if someone was penetrating her mind and instantly block out-

"No," said Remus, with a half-smile. "But no one wears an expression like yours when they contemplate breaking a plate. It was easily interpreted."

"Oh really?" asked Tonks. She screwed up her face so that her mouth was off center and her eyes were as far apart as possible; there was a black line from her chin to her hairline, with a hump for her nose. She looked like a famous piece of two-dimensional artwork. "Interpret this."

"I've seen that Picasso in a museum," said Lupin, with a genuine smile. The mouth that was near where an ear should be grinned back at him. "I did not understand, either. Muggle art is certainly strange sometimes."

"Do you think Dumbledore will-" (she paused to shift her face back to normal) "-be able to make Fudge see sense?"

"I was hoping you could tell me that."

"Why?" she asked with surprise.

"I believe you work at the Ministry? I don't know very much about Fudge or his temperament."

"Well, I don't know Dumbledore. At Hogwarts, I rarely saw him, mostly just at the feasts and never personally until a few weeks ago. You worked for him."

Lupin looked thoughtful.

"Well, Dumbledore is a trusting and generous man," he said in an admiring tone. "He is polite, but effectively conveys his point. And of course, as we all know, powerful beyond description."

"Hm. And I suppose Fudge could be called a highly-skilled delegator and bureaucrat, although it's common knowledge he's a mediocre wizard, average all around. There's a certain paranoia about him."

"We'll have to wait and see."

* * *

_August_

"Again—Tonks, vigilance!" Moody snapped at the girl, who had found a new favorite hairstyle—a short, pixie style in a vivid purple. Initially, Tonks had been astonished to see the ex-Auror who had trained her. His eye and gruff demeanor had made her nervous. Now she called him Mad-Eye and talked to him as if he was a crazy old uncle just to annoy him.

"Mad-Eye, I know the plan in and out," said Tonks exhaustively. She had been looking at a reflection of Remus on an empty silver platter after the late lunch was over.

"Potter's Muggles will be out of the house for approximately one hour. We can't leave too early, we don't want to risk their interference. They could overreact and it could get messy. What is the address? Repeat it."

"I sent two letters by Muggle mail—Number Four, Privet Drive, Little Whinging," Tonks sighed.

"You all should know that," he warned the general weary company. About half the Advance Guard was at Grimmauld Place. The other half seemed deliberately late to avoid the excessive directions. "In case of broom failure, we have to be able to Floo there (even at the risk of the Ministry), or go on foot if necessary. _He must be retrieved_."

"When have you ever heard of broom failure?" snipped Tonks.

"Potter himself has had problems with his brooms in the past!" exclaimed Mad-Eye. "He is a highly dangerous target. His broom could be jinxed—make a note to check for that. Potter will also need his trunk packed immediately."

"He owns an owl," volunteered Lupin. "Arrangements should be made for her as well."

"Potter has an owl. Are you getting all this?" Mad-Eye asked Tonks, seemingly irritated that she wasn't astutely taking notes.

"Wait, tell me again, I forgot—who are we going to go get?" asked Tonks, looking clueless. "Where are we going?"

A general snicker around the room brought a livid expression to Moody's face.

"_Potter is in grave danger. You-Know-Who is back and there is nothing he wouldn't do to kill that boy,_" seethed Moody. The room became quiet again and Tonks looked sulky. However, the mood altered rapidly as about four more people came in. Elphias Doge, Dedalus Diggle, Hestia Jones, Sturgis Podmore and Emmeline Vance stood around the table that Moody, Lupin, Tonks, Shacklebolt, and Black were already sitting at.

"What took you so long?" asked Moody to the general crowd. They looked sheepish. "You missed valuable points on the mission-"

"We leave in an hour, by broomstick, to Little Whinging, Number Four, Privet Drive. We secure Harry Potter and Disillusion him. A first signal is cast of red sparks as a ready, second signal of green as a go. We travel in a rotating flying formation _back _to Number 12, we stand guard as Harry reads Dumbledore's words, we go in. Done." Tonks said all this in two breaths.

"Sounds reasonable," said Emmeline after a moment. "I'm prepared. I brought my Nimbus 2000."

"Oh, nice!" exclaimed Tonks, watching Moody out of the corner of her eye with silly delight. "Not the newest one out, but it sure beats my Comet Two Sixty. Say, do you get a good tailwind-"

"Not the time, Tonks! Constant vigilance!" snapped Mad-Eye.

* * *

"Was he what you were expecting?" asked Remus as he and Tonks sat down together at the table. A few people were still coming in and getting their seats. Dumbledore was sitting towards the front. Snape was standing at the head, neatly stacking parchment. Everything had gone as planned, and Harry was upstairs reuniting with his school friends.

"Who?"

"Harry."

"Harry, eh?" asked Tonks, looking thoughtful. She bit her lip, thinking. Her hair turned teal and fell to her shoulders. Remus smiled at the sight of it. "Nervous, actually. I thought he'd be a bit more, you know, brawny. They say he fought dragons and swam through a lake last year." Suddenly, the muffled tones of someone shouting in the upstairs rooms became audible. Members of the Order listened curiously for a moment. No words could be distinguished but it was obviously Harry's voice. "And I suppose his friends are hard of hearing?"

"No, not at all," chuckled Remus. "He's been trapped at his Muggle house for a month. He's just seen the Dark wizard that killed his parents resurrected from the dead, witnessed a tragic death occur, and all his friends are gone in the span of weeks. No letters, no real news. It must be killing him."

"Poor kid," said Tonks, suddenly feeling really sorry for him. Remus could see that she sincerely meant it.

"Harry is a good person. You didn't know his father, but he resembles him remarkably in many ways. And the way he relates to his friends, even his enemies—you can see his mother shining out of him." Lupin sat back and had a tired, longing look on his face.

"You miss them," said Tonks.

"Ah," he said, looking uncomfortably back at her. Dumbledore was clearing his throat for the meeting to begin as Molly Weasley settled herself. "It's not the time to discuss it. Maybe later."

"Welcome to you all," said Albus Dumbledore. "I want to begin by sincerely thanking you all for coming tonight. We have families, businesses, duties, and facades to maintain, but I appreciate what unites us—the common goal of protecting our fellow man, Muggle and Wizard, and everything in between. Our enemy is growing stronger daily and it looks as though our hopes of heading him off early have been crushed. The Ministry's refusal to accept horrifying truths is a great boon to Voldemort's efforts."

The room collectively shuddered at the mention of Voldemort's name.

"I hardly need remind you all that a popular newspaper, _The Daily Prophet_, has made it a habit to slander my name and Harry Potter's."

"Vicious mendacity!" cried Elphias Doge. "Don't listen to a word of it, Albus. They don't have any right or reason to take away your Chief positions, or your Order of Merlin-"

"Thank you, Elphie," Dumbledore cut him off. "But I do not mind what they do, so long as they do not take me off the Chocolate Frog cards." A surprised laugh came around the room. "It is only important that the Order does not rely on the Daily Prophet for explicitly accurate information, but the importance that it be monitored daily for developments that may shape the public opinion does not lessen. Sirius, I would like you to take up this task of monitoring _The Daily Prophet_ from headquarters."

"As you like," said Sirius sourly, looking like he would rather snog Kreacher. Snape, at the other end, smirked cruelly.

"Thank you. As you have all no doubt realized, Fudge's weakness in this situation, although he must presumably believe the opposite, puts the Ministry at great risk for rebellion or revolution from Voldemort's forces. If that day soon comes—Arthur, Nymphadora, Sturgis, Alastor, Kingsley and Hestia—you must be ready to move yourselves and your families to a safe, undisclosed location should your position be given away. I would like Kingsley and Alastor to begin casting protective charms on the locations all of our Ministry employees indicate as their safe houses."

"We'd be at our Great Auntie Muriel's, then," said Molly Weasley, uncertainly.

"I've got nowhere to go but my parents' house," added Tonks.

"We'll give you the addresses," promised Hestia.

"Excellent," said Dumbledore. "Now, I imagine, as in the last time, Voldemort will have something like an army of followers that are not comprised of the usual wizard or witch. I have already sent Rubeus Hagrid on a mission to the giants. While the allegiance of house elves is presumably not worth discussing, a goblin alliance may be worth pursuing and I have already spoken to Bill about his colleagues at Gringotts. However, I would like to privately discuss with you, Remus, about an infiltration mission that may take several months or longer."

Those leaning forward, listening intently to Dumbledore's words, suddenly leaned back and looked away with feigned disinterest.

"I'm at your service, Albus," said Remus, looking down at his hands, as though he were ashamed or embarrassed to have a mission. Tonks thought it was very odd. What was going on? It would have been an honor for her to have a mission, to be so trusted!

"I'm glad for it. And one last assignment before we listen to what our informant, Severus Snape has to say. I would like to request that Molly Weasley attend to Grimmauld Place every once in awhile to guarantee its upkeep. As our resident housekeeper is not—ah—up to the task, I would appreciate it if you, Molly, would ensure that food supplies do not run too low, that our medicinal supplies are always stocked, ready and conveniently available, and that there is a store of potion-making ingredients so that concoctions such as Polyjuice Potion or Veritaserum can be mixed covertly and as quickly as their recipes permit."

"Easily done," said Molly, nodding her head with pride.

"Thank you. As you all know, our charge Harry Potter has arrived safely at headquarters, so there is no need to continue with guard duty." Mundungus Fletcher wheezed a sigh of relief. "And now, if you please, Severus…"

"Dumbledore," Severus nodded brusquely. "The Dark Lord's gathering of his followers yesterday night was not particularly eventful. No new attacks were ordered. However, by ways of concealed Occlumency and clipped conversation with Lucius Malfoy, I have gathered that the Dark Lord's newest target, now that the Potter boy is unreachable, is something within the Ministry of Magic."

"Like what?" asked Sirius shortly.

"Something that the Dark Lord would consider a weapon," Snape said sneeringly toward Sirius. He pulled a scroll of large, blank parchment out and rolled it out on the table. Three taps of his wand and black lines spread out, web-like onto the black paper. They revealed rooms, corridors and passages. It was a map. "I used a Document Duplicate spell—an untraceable copying mechanism. This is a notated chart of the Department of Mysteries."

"The Department of Mysteries?" asked Dumbledore thoughtfully, as he looked at them. "It is almost predictable, had I cared to look into a glass ball. Voldemort's desire is an answer to a mystery. He wields his secret knowledge as a weapon."

"So it would seem," said Snape, flicking his wand and rolling the parchment back up with a snap. "However, neither the conversations nor the map reveal exactly what within the Department of Mysteries is sought. I will, with your leave, Albus, investigate this matter further."

"Of course. Thank you, Severus. Now, I know of no other new or old business that needs to be discussed. Is there anything that you all want to say or ask?"

"What about Harry?" asked Sirius. "Now that he's here, I think he should know about all this."

"That's preposterous! We shouldn't tell him anything, poor dear, burdening him-!" exclaimed Molly Weasley. They both looked to Dumbledore for a decision.

"I stand by my earlier statement. Harry must only know what he needs to know, and nothing further."

There was silence.

"Then I bid you all a good and restful night. This meeting is closed."

After Hermione, Harry, and the Weasley went to bed, the Order filtered out slowly. Tonks decided to spend the night rather than Apparate to her messy apartment in Covent Garden. It was one of her quirks that she couldn't stand sleeping or living in a messy space, but couldn't help with her clumsiness and general disorganization that it would be anything but messy. She could sleep on the couch at Grimmauld Place, go to work and tackle it after five, now that she had some free time.

Remus was looking apprehensive, staring at the fire and down at his hands again.

"What was all that about at the meeting?" asked Tonks, sitting next to him.

"I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about," he replied, looking away.

"Why was everyone weird when they found out you had a mission? And you looked almost ashamed."

"It's complicated, Tonks."

"Tch," scoffed Tonks. "I had to cross-reference sixty-three potions ingredients by property and origin in my first week of Auror training. Don't tell me it's too complicated, Remus."

Remus sighed, looking at her now.

"I suppose it doesn't matter. Nearly everyone else knows," he said bitterly.

"Knows what?" asked Tonks, cocking her head to the side.

"I have a condition," he said pausing, looking nervously up in her eyes. He realized for the first time that he had never confessed being a werewolf to anyone before—people had always found out by research, gossip or had actually seen him transform.

"Yeah, Sirius said something like that," said Tonks, remembering. "A condition that makes you tired all the time. Do you have Dormientitis? That can be easily treated, you know."

"No," laughed Remus, wishing he did have Dormientitis. Anything would be better. "I don't have a sleep disorder. Actually, I know this is a lot to ask of an Auror—but do you mind staying uninformed just a little longer?"

"Why?" asked Tonks incredulously.

"It's not a secret—you saw everyone in the room react. And I'm sure you'll find out sometime soon. It's just that it would be so good if one less person doesn't look at me that way—I'm sorry, I'm not explaining myself well-"

"No, it's okay," said Tonks, biting her lip. "I get it. But I think whatever you got's obviously affecting what you think of yourself much more than what everyone else thinks of you."

"What do you mean?" asked Lupin.

"Well, you're talking like you've got spattergroit," said Tonks. "When people in the Order look at you, all I see from them is respect. I think Harry admires you, actually. Sirius cares for you immensely. When you talk, people listen—I'm kind of envious."

Lupin cocked his head so it was at the same angle as Tonks'. He smiled and gave a half-laugh.

"Do you really think so?"

"Oh yeah," said Tonks assuredly. "You're like our voice of reason, Remus."

"Hmm," he muttered, and he seemed to brighten up. "Thank you, Tonks."

"I won't try to find out your secret," promised Tonks. "In fact, I'm going to cast a powerful spell on myself to make sure I don't hear it when it's being discussed. It's called the Alala Charm."

"The Alala Charm?" asked Remus, intrigued. "I've never heard of that. Could we cast it on Kreacher, or any of the students to make sure we aren't overheard—or Muggles—I wonder why I haven't heard of it before? How does it work?"

"I'll give you a demonstration. Go ahead, talk about anything, I won't hear you," said Tonks, a smile twitching in the corner of her mouth. She stuck one finger in one ear, and her wand tip in her other. "A, la, la, la, la, la, la, la…" she chanted, drowning out any noise she might have been hearing otherwise.

Remus couldn't suppress the laughter as he had wanted to. It came out deeply then rose—it was a long laugh that reached his belly, hurt his sides. He hadn't lost control like this in a long time.

"Don't have a conniption," said Tonks, looking sideways but still smiling. "Wasn't that funny."

"Whew," he said, panting a little. "It's only—it's only that you reminded me of—of Sirius. Many years ago, before he was in prison." He paused and caught his breath, becoming still. "And James. Would you like to play a game of chess?" She looked surprised as he asked this last request in a hurry. She nodded enthusiastically.

And somehow the pair found themselves in a very good mood before they said good night.


	3. Chapter 3

_October _

_You're ridiculous, Dora. It'll never happen, _the little voice said. Tonks sat at her desk in the Ministry. Although as a junior Auror she had the tiniest cubicle at Auror Headquarters, in the most cramped corner, hers was the most vividly decorated—the entire collection of Holyhead Harpies action figures zoomed around the space, the pea-sized Bludgers occasionally pelting Tonks in the head. Her desk was bright yellow and black, a tribute to her beloved Hufflepuff. And all around, the walls were decorated with pictures of her parents, of her ten little Muggle cousins, Gwenog Jones, and Weird Sisters concert posters. She couldn't go a week without some more senior Auror commenting that it was distracting, although it was a guilty pleasure of hers to annoy the authorities.

She tried to concentrate on her work—she was writing a report for Uther Japes, one of the oldest Aurors in the office at 92 years and counting. It was pretty normal that the older ones shifted their paperwork onto the younger ones. Tonks was just grateful she didn't have to do interrogating or imprisonment that she knew was morally wrong. _The investigation of the House of Nott resulted in the seizure of minor Dark artifacts. The appropriate punishment decided is fines totaling the sum of 230 Galleons, 16 Sickles…_ it made Tonks slightly sick to see Death Eaters get off with easy punishments for paying the Ministry off in "fines." Just to be spiteful, Tonks wrote "bribes" instead of fines, thinly crossing out the faked error and wrote the intended word after it. Anyway, no one but Kingsley would read it.

Not wanting to continue, she let her thoughts fly like her action figures. They seemed to drift more and more to Remus every time she closed her eyes. His expressions, his kind eyes—

_You're ridiculous! He's older than you, he's cooler than you, he doesn't have time for you. He probably even feels sorry for you. You're just a kid, like Harry, to him. It doesn't matter, this is just a stupid crush, it's not real._

She took her quill and began batting at the swirling mini-Quidditch players. They gave out high-pitched squeals of terror as they dodged her giant feather.

It hadn't been like this for the longest time. Her mother had always told Tonks that boys were trouble and she'd better be sure she knew it before she started dating. At any rate, Tonks had had better trouble to get into before she was interested in romance. Only when a pair of second year twins had usurped the throne of mischief-making in her seventh year had she let her interests mature. She had developed an intense puppy crush on the Gryffindor Quidditch captain, Charley Weasley. Admiration for his daredevilry was her chief reason. However, once she actually started dating him, she found that his three loves—Quidditch, dragons, and firewhisky—held little room for girls. She was quickly disenchanted by his butterbeer belching of the twelve uses of dragon's blood.

The thought of having a boyfriend, or even a pet, during her three years of Auror training was a laugh. She had had time to sleep for about six hours a night before waking early for grueling tasks, with "constant vigilance" and without lunch. After-work assignments, with her willing but struggling intellect, would have her burning the midnight _Lumos_.

Although things had slowed down considerably for her body since then, emotionally she was in overdrive. Tonks had the particular trait of feeling the freshness of grief every time she heard of a new death. It didn't seem to be getting better as the months wore on and Dumbledore's visits to the Order grew fewer and shorter. She felt Sirius' increasing agitation at being confined indoors and tried to keep him company as much as possible, although the fresh sense of humor and desire for fun had waned to dry, sarcastic quips and long, unhappy silences. All of this was accompanied by an ever-increasing feeling of doom, a fear that was like standing under an approaching black cloud that slowly eclipsed the sun. Her feelings for Remus felt like a cheerful buoy being constantly dragged down by reality.

She sighed and looked down at the reports. She would finish them after Halloween was over. She stuffed them in her desk and turned out the lights in the office. She Apparated to the front step of 12 Grimmauld Place.

"Nymmmmphadora Tonks!" Sirius hooted when he saw her appear in the parlor. He was holding a butterbeer in one hand and a firewhisky in the other. He brought his arm around her neck in a faux headlock. "Ho, Ho, ho, Happy Halloween, you shifty little….shapeshifter!" He brought the firewhisky to his lips, then washed it down with butterbeer.

"Wotcher! Happy Halloween, Sirius, Remus," she said. Remus sat in an armchair, two bottles of firewhisky at his feet. Sirius had littered quite a few more on a long coffee table.

"Tonks, c'mere!" he called, pushing her down onto the couch. She was afraid he was going to do something vastly inappropriate, but he sat a few feet away from her on the other side of the large sofa. "I have—gotta a proposition for you. Have a firewhisky."

"Uh huh," said Tonks, looking sidelong at Remus as Sirius rummaged another bottle out of his pocket, blasting it open with his wand and handing it to her. She detested alcohol and knew Remus wasn't a fan either. Remus half-smiled apologetically. She knew he was a sucker for anything Sirius asked him to do, even drink with him on a holiday.

"Now, whaddayasay about you and me getting married!" He swigged down the butterbeer, following it with firewhisky. He coughed and laughed loudly, awkwardly. "Oops, wrong way down!" He stopped instantly and looked at her. "Married!" he said again.

Remus was stiffening at this proprosal. He sat up and looked sternly at Sirius. She was touched slightly by his protective nature of her—or was it for poor, drunk Sirius?

"Sirius," she said, wrestling the firewhisky out of his hand. "It's not such a good idea for us to get married. I'm not in love with you and you are in love with firewhisky."

"You're talking like I'm a drunk or something!" he said and gave a painful wheeze. "Anyway, I love butterbeer a lot better. Now let's get married!"

"We're not getting married," said Tonks calmly. "We're cousins. It's disgusting."

"Oh yeah," he said, as if it had just occurred to him. "I guess I just thought, you know…if we were married…why did I think that…oh yeah…if we were married, I could come live with you! A new place! And I could get out of this house. I could get out of this house if we were married, Tonks! Dumbledore would let me live with you, I think! Please marry me Tonks, I want to live with you and leave. I want to leave and never come back…go to Brazil…and leave...I can't get out…I can't get out…" He seemed woozy now. He leant back and went to sleep.

"I am sorry about that," said Remus sadly, his expression melting. "This isn't normal."

"I know."

"I think you may be the only witch to ever receive a proposal from Sirius, although many tried to procure one."

"Lucky me," said Tonks, setting her untouched firewhisky onto the coffee table.

"I do not think he's ever been in love with anyone, though. Except once."

Tonks looked at her sleeping cousin.

"Who was it?"

"Lily Potter," said Lupin, gulping another swallow of firewhisky and letting out a hot exhaust. Tonks took in breath sharply and turned toward Remus.

"Not his best friend's wife! He couldn't have! If Harry knew-"

"It wasn't like that at all," said Remus, waving away her statement. She realized he was a little tipsy too. "It was before James and Lily were married, back at Hogwarts. All the boys were in love with Lily. James, Sirius, maybe even Snape. Even I was in love with her," he admitted, looking thoughtful.

"How did she end up choosing James? I thought she had hated him."

"Well, none of us went after her. James had seen her first. Sirius respected that, even though he wanted her just as much. We all knew that if we went after Lily, James would feel betrayed and never speak to us again. My friends—for many reasons—meant the most to me in the world, more than any girl could. No matter how much I admired Lily, I'd never abandon James' friendship. But I think it's obvious that Peter held no special affection for her. I didn't suspect that he did; he was far too focused on passing his classes and keeping up with Sirius and James."

"What was so great about her?" asked Tonks. She didn't want to feel jealous of a dead woman, especially since it was Harry's mother.

"Oh, she was perfect," said Remus, but his tone made him sound reminiscent rather than wishing. "She was the beauty of our class with her unusual green eyes. If she wore her robes or dress in a certain way, or changed her hairstyle, the other girls would follow her. She had many friends in all the houses and had an honest and friendly approach to everyone. Above all things, she despised bullies and earned much distinction for being a protector of the weak. And such a powerful witch—she knew ancient spells that none of us even imagined and had little difficulty with any of her classes, although she was a model student, unlike James. There was no talent that James lacked, except for self-control. He was a Quidditch star, aced most of his classes without studying, had a quick sense of humor and most of the student body under his influence. When they started dating in seventh year, people had half-expected it but were still excited about such a match. They seemed made for each other."

Remus didn't seem to be in the present time any more.

"Sirius got over it, I suppose. He was their best friend and Harry's godfather. He started dating an endless parade of women, mostly Muggles, but none of them seemed to be of Lily's caliber for him."

"And you? Did you get over her?" asked Tonks. She hoped she didn't sound hopeful, or nervous, or anything but disinterested and conversational.

"Yes," said Remus, his eyes still not focused on anything. "After they started dating, I realized that James' feelings were not just a pipe dream and that they were most likely going to get married. I focused on the upcoming struggle with Voldemort and on my friendships, and my feelings for James' bride went away. It was never meant to be. I was very happy for them, but after Harry was born, there was a massive paranoia running through the country and the first Order. Although I did not understand why at the time, Sirius made sure I saw very little of his godson, his best friend, Lily or Peter. I was cut off from my friends at the time of their deaths."

Tonks felt her own heart sink as she watched Remus' face. She had no doubt that it was the whisky that was making him this vulnerable and honest.

"I loved them more than anything in the world, even the Order. I would have sold out Dumbledore for them, and I never said good bye."

His face was hard, but his eyelids looked soft as they fluttered close.

"I don't think you would've ever sold out Dumbledore," said Tonks. "You're not like that." But Remus appeared not to have heard her.

"Don't think I blame Sirius. I do not, he loved them as much as I did; he believed he was protecting them. And maybe he was." The last phrase was the bitterest thing she'd ever heard him say. She didn't want to press it. "In two days I lost my three best friends and Lily."

Tonks slid a hand over to hold his. He gripped it tightly and looked at her.

"What did you do?" she asked quietly.

"I was interrogated," he replied, "but only by Dumbledore. I told him that Black privately had tried to frame me, because that had seemed to be his intent now that he had apparently been revealed as the spy, and that I'd had little contact with my friends. The Order was disbanded and he told me to take some time away. He had seen that I had suffered too much and I was just too tired to be of use. So I left for France, glad to be rid of Britain and Voldemort. My father had been killed by his followers and my mother had taken up residence with her relatives in Avignon. She was ill. My French relatives knew about—my condition—and were wary to let me stay. I remained there for five years while her health dwindled and finally failed. After she was buried far away from her husband, I was no longer welcome.

I left France and wandered aimlessly in the world, looking for something that was irrecoverable. I learned many things about the Dark Arts and how to fight them. I took short-lived jobs with Muggles in their shops and factories, but I could not make myself stay for longer than a few months at a time and I made no close friendships. The thought of losing someone else was too much to bear. I should have known better—I should have know that it is your friends and your family that keep you safe and healthy, that being alone is much worse.

After a year in hermitage studying wolves, I went east to where the Dark Arts make no pretense of being hidden. There I lived with my brethren, those who shared my pain. But it was not family. They were not James, Lily and Sirius. My mind became twisted when I was with them, I felt myself grow weaker to temptation. Luckily, I got out before I did something I knew I would regret. There was only one person I could trust anymore, and I decided to come back to him."

"Dumbledore," sighed Tonks.

"Yes, Albus Dumbledore. I should have come back sooner, should have trusted him like I once did. I have so many regrets, Nymphadora." Tonks didn't bother to correct him. She didn't even remember to do it.

"What did he tell you?"

"It had been twelve whole years I had been away. I had not even realized that much time had been lost, that most of my youth had been sapped. While I had been wandering, Sirius had been in Azkaban and broken out when I returned. Dumbledore offered me a steady job that employed the scarce profits of a twelve year's absence—my increased knowledge. I became the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, and I think it saved my life. Meeting and knowing Harry and his friends was one of the most gratifying experiences I'd ever known, and the return of one of my best friends at the end of that year healed many wounds that had festered for too long. I wasn't ecstatic, but it rejuvenated me to the point of having a reason to live and to work.

I resigned after that year and went to the old house my father had left me. I cleaned it and made it habitable. I lived off garden vegetables that I grew and even Sirius came to live with me for a time, although he left sooner than I would have liked. It was because he was wary of ever causing friends trouble again, I believe. After that year ended, Dumbledore sent me the owl. Voldemort had returned and the Order was reforming. If it had been under different circumstances, I would have been quite content to be back."

"And then I met you," said Tonks with a smile.

"And then I met you," repeated Lupin. For the first time in awhile he looked up to meet her eyes. He smiled slightly, squeezed her hand and let go. He regained his normal, excessively sober look on his face and looked at the bottles of firewhisky. "I am very sorry, Tonks, that you had to listen to that." A look of self-loathing came over as he roughly grabbed the empty bottles to throw them away.

"Not at all," said Tonks. "Sometimes you need to get it all out, right? Otherwise you'd bust. Or go mad."

Remus sighed and looked at her after he'd roughly thrown down the glass bottles into a refuse chute.

"Now, I don't think I have any secrets from you at all," he said, but not bitterly.

"Well, one," said Tonks with an encouraging smile. "Your 'condition,' as you call it."

"Ah yes," he said with surprise. "I'm amazed I was able to keep that quiet during my drunken tirade. But no matter. If you wish now, I will tell you."

"No, that's all right," said Tonks. "You're my mystery man. If you don't have any mystery—well, then you're just be my man." The way she'd said the last statement wasn't suggestive, but when she heard herself she blushed. "I mean, you'd just be an ordinary bloke."

"You don't mind?" he asked, ignoring what she just said.

"Nah. I don't need to know. If you feel better that I don't know and it's not hurting anyone, I don't see a problem." She ran a hand through her green dreadlocks. He gave her a wide grin.

"I think Severus could learn a thing or two from you."

"Like how to wash his hair?"

"No," he said, suppressing a smile. "We should probably call it a night-"

But the front door of 12 Grimmauld Place opened with a snap and a black, cloaked figure appeared. Instantly, Tonks and Remus had leapt up and drawn their wands (Sirius slept on). But the hood lowered and revealed a hurried Snape.

"Lower you wands," he commanded silkily, and they obeyed immediately. "An attack has been planned on a Muggle family in Westminster. Here's the address."

Remus took it immediately and read it as Tonks asked, "But won't you be given away?"

"No. Crabbe, the fool, made the mistake of using the Muggle post to inform his brother, thinking it was secure. I retrieved the letter and you must have it, to verify your source. Make sure the Death Eaters see it and you'll do more than save Muggles tonight. There will only be two going, and I believe an Auror and an ex-Defense professor, with the element of surprise on their side, will be enough to defeat them." His tone was challenging and cynical rather than inspiring and encouraging.

Tonks took the original letter and put it safely in her robes.

"Will you be here when we get back?"

"No," he said, looking with disgust at the passed-out Sirius. Tonks felt a sudden upsurge of sympathy. Snape was probably the last person Sirius would ever want to see him drunk, except maybe Harry. "I'm going back to Hogwarts."

Snape swept out of the house as quickly as he had come.

"He implied that there is little time to call anyone else," said Remus, taking a breath. "Are you ready?"

"Definitely," said Tonks. They hurried quietly down the corridor and out the door. Tonks hooked arms with her partner and vanished into the black night.

"Here," whispered Lupin, pulling Tonks quickly across the threshold, out of light of the streetlamps. The two disappeared into the building. No one on the street had been the wiser. They soft-footedly looked at the flat numbers as they climbed up the stairs until the found the right one.

"Should we knock or just go in?" asked Lupin.

"Go in," replied Tonks. "If they're already in there, we've lost our element of surprise and they could get away. If they're not—we'll explain ourselves to the Muggles. They're obviously familiar with wizards if they've got You-Know-Who miffed. _Alohomora._"

The door clicked open. Tonks went first with Lupin close behind. Tonks watched ahead while Lupin closed the door.

First, she saw the barrel of a gun creeping around the corner. Then a man holding it erect and carefully came out, wearing a look of calm determination.

"That's a gun, Tonks, it's a dangerous Muggle weapon," said Lupin in her ear. She felt his hands comes down on her shoulders, as if at a moment's notice he would force her down to dodge a bullet.

"I know," she replied quietly. There had been a short unit about it in Auror training and she had watched her father's Muggle action films with him. They didn't draw their wands.

"You're wizards," the Muggle man with the gun said. "Are you with Voldemort?"

"No," replied Lupin evenly. "Quite the opposite. We're in an organization that opposes him. Are you aware there is an attack planned on you and another Muggle in this residence, tonight?"

"I thought it, maybe," mused the Muggle grimly. "Didn't know when." He lowered the gun and Remus' hands relaxed slightly. "Can you help us? My wife is here with me. Come on out, Beth." A timid but sweet-looking woman came out from around the corner fearfully.

"I'm Elizabeth Granger. This is my husband, Kenneth," she said quietly. "My daughter is a witch."

"You must be Hermione Granger's parents!" said Lupin suddenly. The same thought had occurred to Tonks a second later. "I'm delighted to meet you," he said shaking their hands after they nodded in agreement. "I was Hermione's teacher a little over a year ago."

"Up at the Hogwarts School?" asked Kenneth interestedly. "You taught there?"

"Yes, for a year. Hermione is unequivocally the brightest in her class. She's very gifted," he said with admiration. Her parents beamed.

"Even at her grammar school, she was excellent," said Beth with a smile, and the tense atmosphere had evolved into one that resembled a cheerful parent-teacher conference. "Multiplication, geography, everything—but I think she was a bit bored with it, you know. She was never made for 'Muggle' life, as you wizards call it, she was ever so excited to get her Hogwarts letter-"

"I know this must be pleasant, but there are Dark wizards on the way," said Tonks gravely, and Lupin suddenly looked raptly focus and slightly cross with himself. The Grangers nodded and were wary. "We have to think of a plan. Remus, will you put a Charm on the door so that '_Alohomora' _won't open it?"

Lupin walked back down the hall while Tonks led the Grangers to their sitting room.

"Now, I would like you two to-" she began, but Kenneth interrupted her.

"You're that Tonks girl, aren't you?" he asked suddenly.

"Sorry? I mean, I am, yes. How did you know my name?" She was slightly stunned that a Muggle knew her.

"Oh, it's just our Hermione wrote us a letter that she was living with a friend who was always having wild hairstyles and could change her appearance at will. A Metamorphagus."

"A Metamorphmagus," corrected Tonks lightly. She crossed her eyes and change the green dreadlocks into a long, orange braid and watched their delighted expressions. She knew they would have asked and it would have slowed them down. "Now listen. Your gun probably isn't going to do a lot of good. That's the bedroom over there? Okay. You need to go in there and hide, but watch through the crack. If anyone in a black cloak and a mask comes through your front door, fire the gun at them. Even if you miss, that'll be Remus' and my signal to come out of hiding. They won't be expecting us to be here, they'll think you're defenseless.

After you fire the gun, close the door immediately and hide in here. Stay quiet, stay hidden. You'll hear many sounds, and as long as you stay in here, under your bed or in the closet, you should be okay. When everything is quiet, I'll call for you two to come out of hiding. But if the sounds stop and you don't hear me or Remus calling for you, it means Remus and I are unable to help you anymore. The fire escape is out your bedroom window, correct? Use it. And run as fast as you can to the safest place you know nearby."

"You aren't going to die, are you?" asked Beth fearfully.

"I doubt it," said Remus, coming back after finishing the Charm. "It sounded to us like this will be a minor attack. Why does Voldemort want you dead?"

"I suppose you will know immediately why this was foolish," said Kenneth with a sigh. "Hermione had stopped sending us letters from school."

"The post is being watched," said Tonks immediately. "There's nothing she can tell you of value by mail, she had no way to contact you."

"I know this now. But through much difficulty, I secured a magical owl and sent her a letter, telling her that we supported our brave daughter and we would fight alongside her against Voldemort if that day came."

Tonks initially thought this a laughable offer, like a four-year-old asking to go to war with his soldier father. The finest Muggle banks in the world could be opened and robbed with the simplest spells. If wizards collectively decided to exterminate all the Muggles in the world, Tonks believed it could be done within a year. They seemed so powerless. But Tonks saw the pride and resolve in Hermione's father's eyes and it was not very funny. He seemed determined to protect his only daughter and a world he knew little about. It was tragic and beautiful.

"It is a noble sentiment," said Lupin, echoing Tonks' thoughts. "No one can deny you are brave, like your daughter. In fact, you are probably being targeted because of her close connection to Harry Potter, a great threat to Voldemort. But this is a wizard's war. Muggles caught in the middle can offer nothing but their lives as needless sacrifices. You must understand that the best you can do is to make a safe place for Hermione to come home to. To do that, you must stay out of this conflict."

"But we want to help!" piped Beth. "We can't do nothing while our daughter is in danger, if you'll pardon the double negative." Lupin and Tonks exchanged looks.

"If you are insistent, I will speak to the Headmaster of Hogwarts, Albus Dumbledore. He is the leader of our organization, the most powerful wizard I know, and a very wise man. He will inform you if there is anything you can do for us. But if he concludes that your services are not required, you must absolutely abide by his decision. Do you understand, Mr. and Mrs. Granger?"

"Yes," said the Grangers, after hesitantly looking at one another.

"Good. Tonks," he said, looking at her and motioning with his head toward the hallway.

"We'll be in the bedroom," said Kenneth.

"Keep the gun out and ready," reminded Tonks. He nodded. Close next to the wall, Lupin stood on one side of where the hallway ended in the living room. There was only a staircase in the hall, but no doors to other rooms. Tonks mirrored Lupin on the other side.

A tense, waiting, three-quarters of an hours passed by. Tonks and Lupin had taken to sitting with their backs against the walls, looking at each other from time to time and constantly listening.

Finally, a few voices in the hall could be heard and a jingling of the doorknob.

"Marius, get the door," a gruff, muffled voice commanded.

"_Alohomora!_" another voice chanted. But nothing happened.

"I guess Dumbledore knew we were coming," said the gruff voice with a dark laugh, then stopped immediately. "If-"

"We should call Nott," said the one called Marius. "I dunno the counterjinx."

"Yes. Wait, no!" hissed the other. "I used the Muggle post and your letter never arrived. If I call Nott, he'll tell the Dark Lord why he was with us tonight instead of with him. They'll figure out that I leaked the info, and I'll be through." The voice sounded extremely worried. "And you too."

"What do we do?"

"We figure it out. We went to the best wizard school in Britain, Marius." But apparently it hadn't done them much good here. Another seven minutes passed with various attempts, they decided to kick in the door.

_Expelliarmus, _mouthed Tonks to Lupin, pointing at him. Then she pointed to herself and mouthed _Stupefy_. Lupin nodded grimly. They were both on their feet now, their wands out and held erect near their faces.

Several loud bangs brought the door down. The two Death Eaters staggered in. A thought passed Tonks—what about the other Muggles in the building, would they come to discover-

But her thoughts were forced into action mode as the gunshot went off. The Death Eaters yelled when they heard it.

"They're in there!" pointed one Death Eater.

"Blimey, do you think they have a wand?" asked the other.

"They're stupid Muggles, how could they-"

"I dunno-"

But another shot rang out and this time a Death Eater howled and _thunked_ against the wall.

"My ankle!" he screamed.

"I'll get you for this, you dirty Muggle!" the other said furiously. He pulled out his wand but Remus was too quick for him.

"_Expelliarmus!"_ He shouted, and the Death Eater's wand went into his hands as he gave a gasp of surprise.

"It's the Order!" he exclaimed as Tonks raised her wand to stupefy him. But the Death Eater who had been shot in the ankle had his wand out more quickly.

"_Crucio_," he choked out, despite the pain.

Tonks had never felt pain like this before. She was quite clumsy and had fallen a lot in Quidditch, had broken plenty of bones and burnt plenty of fingers on the stone. But it felt like all her bones were being broken at once, that she'd fallen into the Sun, her hair and fingernails were being ripped out. Knives were cutting her open and unspeakable things were being done to her eyes. Her mind was splitting. _It's all in my head, _she remembered, and it seemed to help her keep sane and conscious. _I'm not dying, it's just the spell_. But the pain was getting more intense every second, like hot needles on sunburned skin-

"_Finite_," she heard Remus' voice like a godsend. The Death Eater with an injured ankle had been Stupefied, while the other had somehow wrestled his wand back from Remus, and Remus had his hand to his eye in pain. The normalcy of non-pain felt like an Aloe balm soothing her all over, her headache calmed, and it felt as though a thousand wounds had healed in three seconds. She stood up, a little shaky, and grabbed her wand that had rolled away.

"S-Sthupefy," she said, but she found she had bitten her tongue when she was writhing in pain on the floor and she couldn't say the words properly. She pocketed her wand and pulled out a can of Mace that her Auror training had provided her with, in case she ever lost her wand. She sprayed it in the face of the Death Eater that had punched Remus.

The Death Eater clutched his face and cried out with agony. Remus aimed his wand, his hand still on his face, and Stunned the Death Eater.

"Kenneth! Elithabeth!" Tonks cried out. She ran over to the sink in the open kitchen and spat out blood. She sank to her knees in weakness from the Cruciatus Curse. Everything still ached slightly. She felt like a piece of meat that had been taken off the grill and was still steaming. Remus' arm, under her own, lifted her up. Blood was still spilling onto her robes. The Grangers ran into the room; Kenneth still wielded the gun and looked warily at the Dark wizards on their floor while Elizabeth screamed when she saw Tonks' mouth and Remus' eye.

"Ith okay, ith okay," said Tonks, spitting blood everywhere.

"_Episkey_," said Lupin, pointing at her mouth. However, the pain was still there.

"I wasth unther a curth," said Tonks excruciatingly. "Ith a curtht woun. I don wan thoo thry ihth on you with my thongue like thith."

"Good idea," he agreed, wincing from the pain in his eye.

"Put some cold meat on that, Remus," Elizabeth commanded, opening the freezer and handing it to him. Then she put a towel on cold water and gave it Tonks to absorbs the blood.

"Are they dead?" asked Kenneth, his gun still up.

"Stunned," said Remus. "They'll wake in half an hour."

"We don have much thime," said Tonks, taking the towel out of her mouth. "We have to fake your deaths."

"What?" asked Remus, stunned.

"If Volthemor finths that they are sthill alive—he will thend more Death Eathers. More powerful oneths. Argh!" she moaned into the towel at the pain of speech. "He doesth nah wanth to be beathen by Muggles. He will kill you and your sisthers and your brothers and Hermione. We can fake your deaths—buh we neeth thoo make a thouble bodthy."

"Hold on," said Remus. Tonks realized she was still being supported by him. He led her over to the couch and set her down. "Please come over here," he said, motioning to the Grangers. When they acquiesced, he pointed his wand at them. "_Geminio_," he said pointing his wand at Kenneth. An exact copy of the man appeared beside him, standing rigidly. Elizabeth gave a startled cry. Remus performed the spell on her as well.

"Kenneth? Beth?" an older Muggle woman at the open door asked. "Is everything all right? I thought heard gunshots—oh my gracious!" she cried, clutching her chest as she saw the Death Eaters on the floor and Tonks' blood. "What happ-!"

"_Obliviate_," said Remus unflinchingly with his wand pointed at the Muggle neighbor woman. "Take her outside and tell her something, Tonks, I'll take care of everything in here."

Tonks tapped her wrist to remind Remus of the time and Death Eater's inevitable waking. He nodded as Tonks turned to lead the glassy-eyed and motionless woman.

Tonks summoned the chair at the end of the hallway when the Muggle wasn't looking. Tonks kneeled as the woman sat.

"Hm? What am I doing here?" she asked after a moment.

"You heard some gunshots?" asked Tonks.

"Yes," she said. "And I went into the flat."

"Yeth. You thaw Beth and Kenneth Granger fighthing, remember? The gunsthots were a lorry backfiring in the sthreeth, I thaw it. All the thouting was Beth and Kenneth, but they made up and they are very happy now."

"Why are you bleeding?" asked the woman serenely.

"I wasth muggeth with my boyfrien, who ith altho in the aparmen. We are friendths of the Grangersth."

"Oh," said the woman faintly. "I'm going back to my kitchen to make some tea." And with that she got up and left. Tonks sighed and went back in, making sure to close the door and lock it. By the time she had stepped over the Death Eaters' bodies and came back into the living room, Remus had put the replicated bodies of the Grangers on their backs in spread-eagle positions. They looked like sufficiently convincing victims of the Killing Curse.

A thought occurred to Tonks. _Duh_. She used her Metamorphmagus to grow another tongue and get rid of the old. She screwed up her eyes and concentrated. It was more painful than she expected to make an injured body part shrink back into her. She wiggled the new one around in delight as she strode back into the flat.

"Remus, that's great, but we can't do it like this," she said. "_Episkey_." Remus' eye was healed instantly.

"Thank you," he said, taking the meat off of it. "What are you thinking of?"

"We can't fake their deaths here, I mean. Muggles have ways of using their 'science' to tell if a body is really the same person. Those are perfect replicas of their bodies, not even detectable by their science. If someone discovers they're alive, even after tests and things, it'll cause a big enough stir to attract the attention even of wizards. Voldemort will just be back to get them, and he won't send the dummies, either."

"I see," said Remus, nodding. "We've got to send these bodies back to Voldemort somehow, so he can see that they are dead."

"Yeah." Tonks nodded.

"But if they're dead, how are we going to be able to catch these two?" he asked, motioning to the Death Eaters. "Can we send just the fake bodies and the letter to the steps of Malfoy Manor-?"

"Too suspicious," Tonks said quickly. "They know we won't defile a body like that by giving it to the enemy, we'd give them a proper burial. They'd figure out we'd Geminized them and he'd go after them again."

Tonks and Remus looked at each other wearily.

"You're going to have to let them go, aren't you?" asked Elizabeth, looking uneasily at her own body on the floor. "You have no way of sending them to Azkaban without endangering us."

"I'm sorry," said Tonks sadly. "They should be there, but we can't put you in danger."

"Could you hide us?" asked Kenneth hopefully. "If just two less of Voldemort's men were on the streets-"

"It's a kind offer," said Lupin gently. "But the fact remains that you're still Muggles and you don't belong in the wizard world. It's too dangerous. You would be cut off from your families and live in constant fear. In the end, they might find you anyway. This isn't the way it's meant to be, I'm afraid."

"But how'll we be safe if they're still out there?" asked Elizabeth frightfully.

"Safer than you think," said Tonks. "Voldemort will believe easily that you were no match for even his weakest Death Eaters. He won't suspect that the bodies are fakes, not when he believes there are no wizards at your aid. He did not devote a lot of attention to your lives and he will not devote more to your death. Perhaps a Death Eater will search your flat but nothing more. They will not watch the Muggle news or read the Muggle papers to look for proof of your death—if they have your bodies, what proof else do they need?"

"But I would not suggest that you continue to live here," advised Lupin. "Go to your families, abroad or in the country. If they come calling, it's best that you're not alive here."

"What about Hermione?" asked Kenneth.

"She must not know," Lupin replied. "Your 'death' is a secret—all of Voldemort's actions are secrets right now. He is killing off those he believes are weakest—Muggleborns and Muggles. Hermione is perfectly safe at school and she will be safe when she is home with you. No attention will be paid to her because she is not a serious threat and she is under heavy protection of our organization and Dumbledore."

"Are you certain?" asked Elizabeth intently.

Tonks and Lupin exchanged glances.

"She is as safe as any of our kind these days, and more so because she is Harry's close friend, and he goes nowhere without heavy security."

Both parents sighed with relief.

"In—in that case, would you do the thing—the spell that affects memory?" asked Elizabeth kindly. "A Memory Charm, I think Hermione called them once?"

"On who?" asked Tonks. "We'll have to do them on the Death Eaters, yeah-"

"No, us," asked Elizabeth. "We're 'Muggles,' remember? We shouldn't even remember things like this."

"Mr. and Mrs. Granger, you're quite allowed-" began Lupin.

"Yes, but we don't want to remember," said Kenneth. "I don't want to be afraid for my daughter's life or our own, or any of this. Can't you just modify our memory so that we believe we are looking for a change of pace, and a nice place in the country is just the thing? Or something to that effect?"

"If you wish," said Lupin after a long breath.

"Please," said Elizabeth.

"Come with me," said Tonks, taking them out into the hall. "Will you do the same with our Death Eater guests, Remus?"

"If you wish," replied Lupin with a half-smile.

"Please," replied Tonks.

* * *

"Let's keep our hoods over our faces," said Tonks. "It's not good if anyone recognizes us." Both were carrying two bodies each with two wands each—four _Levicorpus_ spells.

They moved quickly in the dark toward Malfoy Manor.

"We can't exactly bring them to the front doorstep," said Tonks. "There could be any number of anti-intruder curses on an old wizarding family's house like this."

"Here. We'll set the bodies down—_Liberacorpi—_and we'll set the security jinxes off. They will think these two were foolish and forgot about the curses." The four bodies were dumped unceremoniously before the great house's footpath gate. Remus put the two wands back in their pockets.

Tonks grabbed a rock. Behind her, Remus hid behind a shrub across the road from the impressive manor house. Tonks threw the rock with all her might and ducked behind the shrub. The rock bounced off of an invisible shield, leaving the house quite unperturbed.

"I'll try a spell," suggested Remus. "_Alohomora_."

It was just the thing. The spell shot across the road and ignited a spark. A siren's wail pierced the night and Venemous Tentacula heads popped out to snap at where a standing person might have been. The garden statues seemed ruffled, alert and looking out. Sallow, green lights popped up among the garden's foliage. Tonks and Remus remained quite concealed behind the hedges and they stayed still.

"What is it, Lucius?" asked a blonde woman, coming outside in a nighttime robe. Tonks realized with horror that the woman was her Aunt Narcissa, the sister of her mother. Lucius Malfoy was out in the yard, searching for a thief or prowler.

"The Tentacula didn't get anything, dear," he said, glancing at the gate, then doubled back. "Narcissa!"

"Merlin," she whispered as she joined his side. "The Crabbe brothers—are they dead?"

"No, just knocked out. Probably did it to themselves, the great idiots, when they saw the Tentacula. How could they forget about the guard jinxes? Well, we always did give them too much credit."

"And they have bodies, too—these are dead, Lucius," said Narcissa, touching the neck of Elizabeth's false body.

"Don't touch them, Narcissa, they're filthy Muggles. Look at their clothes."

"Oh," said Narcissa nonchalantly. "They must be the Muggles that the Dark Lord wanted. The favor for Draco?"

"And myself," said Malfoy. "An insult to my son is an insult to me. The Mudblood that outscores him constantly is an abomination. These are what spawned her. You can use them for our garden mulch and put their filthy blood to use."

"Certainly," said Narcissa, although the idea of using bodies for gardening seemed to disturb her slightly. However, she got over it quickly as she levitated the fake bodies and buried them somewhere in the yard.

"Crabbe, get up," Malfoy commanded. It was lucky that the two Death Eaters were stirring just at this time. "You great oafs, get up. You woke me in the middle of the night by setting off my security jinxes."

"Sorry, Lucius," murmured one. "But we got the Muggles."

"Congratulations. You were able to kill two Muggles. Now get off of my property."

"But Malfoy, what about the Dark Lord? Does he know-"

"The Dark Lord will know your success. Good night." The Malfoys strode back into the manor house while the Crabbes Disapparated. The Venemous Tentacula shriveled up while the statues in the garden settled down once again. The sallow lights went out and all was dark.


	4. Chapter 4

"So you live here," said Remus, releasing Tonks' arm. They had decided to stay at Tonks' apartment rather than Grimmauld Place—under the pretense of a "change of pace," instead of avoiding a drunk Sirius. And secretly, Tonks was excited to have Remus stay over.

They had Apparated into Tonks' living room. Although there was no dust or dirt, all of her things were thrown everywhere willy-nilly—her Muggle clothes, Auror training books, Ministry paperwork, empty take-out boxes were all over the floor and furniture.

"Sorry," said Tonks, turning slightly pink. "Let me try to—_organize!"_ she called. The clothes flew into one big pile in the corner while her books and paper somersaulted lazily into another. It was not neat but at least there was room on the sofa now.

"It's all right," said Lupin smilingly. "It reminds me of—never mind. Are you okay? How did you get your tongue in order?"

"Metamorphmagus powers," said Tonks gratefully. "Useful for more than just good-looks and disguise."

"Is this what you look like when you are not using them?" he asked curiously.

"Eh?" she asked. She got up and peered in the bathroom mirror from across the room. Her hair was a mousey brown, about the length of her chin. "Yeah, that's me. I haven't seen what I really look like in years." She felt ugly and self-conscious. She tried to change her hair back into the orange braid, but it didn't work. She was still nervous about the pain of the Cruciatus Curse—shocks of electricity seemed to jolt her at random times, traveling up and down her veins as an after-effect.

"It's not so different," he said kindly. "That was one of the most frightening things I had ever seen, when I saw the Cruciatus Curse performed on you. You fell on the floor, screaming. Your whole body was shifting from color to size, as if hundreds of people were Apparating and Disapparating rapidly in your place for a few seconds, until you came to this body. And I knew this was what you really looked like underneath all of your disguises."

"Yeah," said Tonks, touching her limp hair with disgust, embarrassed at feeling so vulnerable. "Gorgeous, huh? Bet you didn't know I was a veela underneath all that pink," she laughed sardonically.

"You are not ugly, Nymphadora," Lupin stated with a frown.

"And you are not rude," she replied with a false laugh. "Why did you think I was always changing my hair?"

"I will not understand fully why some attractive women insist on degrading their own appearances. Clearly they cannot believe themselves or they would be mad. And I do not think you are the type that would fish for compliments. I always thought you changed your hair—at first, I thought it was because you were an immature adult and you preferred the company of underage witches to your peers."

"Not gonna deny it," said Tonks with a grin, despite herself.

"However, after knowing you, I find this _wasn't_ the case, whatever you may think. I believe you prefer a disguise to your real appearance because it feels as though your heart—your heart, which beats as compassionately as that of Helga Hufflepuff—is more protected. Most people judge on the material, do they not? Voldemort does and many fall into that trap. I do not know how you plan to defend yourself, however, when someone gets to know you and their heart gets a glimpse of yours."

Tonks shivered.

"You want some coffee, Remus?" she asked suddenly, getting up off the couch and going toward the kitchen.

"No thank you," he asked, embarrassed by his previous words. "It's nearly midnight. Sleep is something I rarely find and value when I can get it."

"Right," said Tonks, as though she'd been hit on the head. "Okay."

"Some water would be excellent," he amended. She fetched it obediently, still feeling dazed. "I'm sorry. I should not have said such personal things, Tonks. I was attempting—poorly, of course—to cheer you up." She looked at him, paused, and grinned.

"Well, the world hasn't ended," she chuckled, feigning looking out the window for apocalyptic meteors. "Remus is the one cheering _me_ up today. Usually you're the one moping around."

"_Moping_?" he annunciated clearly in disbelief, but looked away with a grin. "Is that what I do?"

"Oh, occasionally you'll brood and once in a blue moon I'll catch you being moody. But you're usually moping."

"I don't think anyone in the world but Alastor could be Moody," quipped Lupin.

"Did you just make a joke, Remus?" asked Tonks, astonished. "What's more, one as terrible as a pun? Go on, make one about Sirius, I've been dying to for ages but thought it might be in poor taste-"

"It would be," said Remus with a faux stern expression. "Sirius puns were completely exhausted in our fifth year by our professors. Sirius even suggested Tabooing his own name in order to revenge himself on those who attempted such a linguistic travesty."

"Shame," sighed Tonks, in considerably better mood than she'd been all day. Suddenly her face lit up, remembering. She drew her wand. "Oh wait, I forgot. I've got to send a message to Snape. _Expecto Patronum!_"

Out of her wand exploded a big, silvery fish—on closer inspection it was large, male dolphin. Lupin had never known how big they actually were, but this one took up half the room—perhaps it was magically enlarged, probably by the power of Tonks' usual cheer and good will that a Patronus Charm requires.

"Message for Professor Severus Snape. The Muggles are safe. Couldn't get the two Death Eaters, the Crabbe brothers. Faked the Muggles' deaths—the bodies in the Malfoys' yard are not real. Thanks again."

The immense, silver dolphin gave an ethereal chirp, bucked and swam around the room once, then leapt out the window of the kitchen, ascending into the northern skies above.

"That's invisible to Muggles, right?" asked Tonks in a tone suggested she didn't really care.

"Yes," replied Remus, going to the window to watch. "As far as I know."

Tonks turned back to him and crossed her eyes. Her mousy hair turned thick and black, coming down to her shoulders.

"I'm glad you are back in order," said Remus with a smile.

"Me too," said Tonks, scratching behind her ear. "I think I'm going to bed now. It must be midnight—it's been a long night. You can stay in here, the spare—my parents stay there when they're visiting."

"Thank you. Oh, and Tonks?" he asked, turning to look at her. "Happy Halloween."

* * *

Tonks woke up early because she was so excited. _Remus is in my flat. He's here. _She got up straight away to make coffee, then realized it was only 5:30 AM and decided he should probably sleep in a little more. She tried to sleep but she hugged the pillow, too happy to go back to bed. She had had difficulty falling asleep (a combination of Remus' presence in the next room and the after affects of the Cruciatus Curse) the night before.

She sighed happily and got up after half an hour. Six o'clock was late enough, wasn't it? She was still in her pajamas as she made coffee by hand. She hummed an older Weird Sisters hit and decided on a big breakfast to surprise Remus.

Eggs, toast, marmalade, the works. She started on the pancakes and decided it was an extra-special day—she screwed her eyes up and made thin white strips down blue and purple hair that fell to her ankles.

"_I sent my elf to tell ya, but you just told him to smell ya, my lovely siren ladyyyyyy, sing for meeeeee," _Tonks sang, managing to screech quietly. There was no need, however, as she saw Lupin saunter into the room, waking up slowly.

"Good morning," he greeted her, standing at the kitchen's threshold. "They used to dance to that song when I was at Hogwarts."

"So did I. I went to four of their concerts before I started Auror training."

"Hm," said Lupin, accepting the cup of coffee that she offered him. "I was under the impression that you started Auror training as soon as you left Hogwarts. "

"Oh no," said Tonks, flipping the turkey bacon. "I had no idea what I wanted to do when I left Hogwarts, despite all the career advice my Head of House gave me. He thought I was rather witless, you see, and was trying to sign me up for Muggle Liaising or Flobberworm Cultivation and Control. And I was still in denial about growing up. I wanted to stay at Hogwarts my whole life."

"So did I, actually," admitted Lupin.

"Hm. Well, I went got a job for a year or so at Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour in Diagon Alley, but I was fired because I kept dropping those top heavy five-scoop cones, you know? I tried out for the Holyhead Harpies, but no dice. My flying's not bad, but I can't seem to hold onto a club or a ball."

"Tough luck, I suppose," he nodded sympathetically.

"Have some toast," said Tonks, fixing him a plate. "I got my first job at the Ministry after I was two years out of Hogwarts. I worked in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. It was my job to catch escaped or wild Winged Horses and Hippogriffs."

"Did you enjoy it?" asked Lupin after eating a forkful of eggs.

"Oh yeah, it was great. The thing was, it was too easy. I didn't just fly after them, I tracked them down based on what remains they left at different sites. And if I fought with a rogue Hippogriff, I usually got beat up but I never lost my head and could usually subdue it. My boss, Mr. Diggory, was impressed with me and gave me a recommendation to the Auror Headquarters, told me I was meant for bigger and better things."

"Amos Diggory? Cedric's father?" asked Lupin cautiously.

"Yes, him," sighed Tonks. "I was so sorry to hear about Cedric's death. He came with me on some of my Winged Horse chases, to practice his flying for our Lady Hufflepuff's team. So nice and helpful. He talked about his girlfriend, a Ravenclaw, and how he was going to Italy after Hogwarts." She gave a half-smile, remembering.

"We have to win this war," said Remus, echoing Sirius and many of the other old-timer Order members.

"Well, we won a battle last night. Or at least drew," she said, taking a big bite of toast with jam. "I hope Sirius isn't hung over too badly."

"I'll take care of him," said Lupin. "It's not the first time. It was kind of the same at Hogwarts."

"Taking care of your drunk friends?" asked Tonks. Lupin frowned at her, as if he resented her calling them that.

"Sometimes they had a little too much at the Three Broomsticks. I helped them get in the castle after hours without getting caught—but this is beside the point. Don't you need to go to the Ministry?"

"At eight. I'll head out in about an hour, but you're welcome to stay."

"Oh," he replied, surprised. "Thank you. However, I need to return to Grimmauld Place and make sure Sirius is not worrying too much about me."

"Oh yeah," said Tonks, the thought dawning. "We left Sirius without telling him. Poor guy—will you tell him sorry me?"

"For both of us." Remus took a bite of the waffles. "Thank you. I haven't had such a delicious breakfast in ages. Do not tell Molly, of course."

"Of course," said Tonks with a wink. Remus beamed over his eggs, making him look much younger than the faint lines on his faced suggested. Tonks wondered if he'd ever been winked at before.


	5. Chapter 5

_December _

"Sirius!" Remus urgently bellowed down from the upstairs. "Come quickly!" Sirius bounded up the stairs, with Tonks in hot pursuit. She tripped on one of the stairs, banged her wrist, then quickly got up again.

"Oh, there he is," said the portrait of Phineas Nigellus as he caught sight of great-great-grandson. He coughed and straightened up. "I have a message for you from Dumbledore. He says that the Weasley man-"

"Arthur?" asked Sirius raptly.

"Yes, him," sighed Phineas. "It broke my heart when my darling granddaughter Cedrella married one of those blood trait-"

"Get on with it," snarled Sirius.

"Yes, _well_," sneered Phineas, equaling Sirius' animosity. "_Arthur_ is hurt badly. His wife, children and Harry Potter will be arriving shortly."

"Delighted," said Sirius, worriedly, running his hand through his hair and looking at the floor.

"If _that's _settled, then-"

However, Phineas' next order of business was nearly drowned out by a Phoenix screeching. It was silver and cloudy—Tonks recognized it as a Patronus. They could hear a "_tch!_" of indignation from Phineas at his realization that he would be neither thanked nor wished farewell as he departed back for Dumbledore's office.

"Message for Nymphadora Tonks and Remus Lupin. Arthur Weasley is injured in the Department of Mysteries at the Ministry. Tonks, if you would see to him until the Emergency Healers at St. Mungo's can find him. Take care that you are not seen. Remus, please inform Molly Weasley and accompany her to St. Mungo's to wait for his delivery there."

"Immediately," nodded Tonks.

"At once," agreed Lupin. The Phoenix disappeared in a flash of smoke.

They both jogged to the entrance of the house as Sirius shouted a frustrated 'good luck' to them.

"And to you," said Tonks to Remus, squeezing his hand quickly before she Apparated off of the front step.

She appeared in the darkness of the Ministry's lobby. The gurgle of the fountain could be heard but no one was around. She streaked toward the lift and slammed the grille closed. The elevator descended into darkness.

"_Rapidus_," chanted Tonks, pointing at the floor. She had done this only a few times before, although it was technically against policy and extremely rude when others were in or waiting for the lift. She braced herself for the sensation of freefalling, keeping cool until she felt the destination approaching. "_Larghettus._"

It opened to the correct floor after several seconds of slow crawling.

"Department of Mysteries," said the female voice that Tonks had always found down-right creepy.

It was lit dimly by a few candelabra down the corridor. She saw two figures at the end—a body that was not moving and a body that was moving on its belly, winding back and forth across the ground. It hissed.

"Are you Dumbledore's?" asked a portrait of a witch on the wall.

"Yeah," replied Tonks, not taking her eyes off of the snake that was coming toward her. The faint light was dancing in the snake's eyes. They danced maliciously. She drew her wand.

"That snake was what got him. She's dangerous, watch her." Tonks nodded. She crossed her eyes and called on the full powers of her Metamorphmagus abilities—she pushed herself to be nine feet tall, with thick, burly arms, legs and tough skin. She looked like a half-giantess. However, it was just a disguise—if the snake bit her, she would only have her normal skin to protect her. A flicker of fear could be seen in the snake's eyes.

"_Petrificus Totalus_!" cried Tonks. The snake hissed and dodged. Tonks shot a pack of curses at the snake, but its wily, serpentine movements dodged them all. "_Protego!_" The snake was suddenly boxed in by the Shield Charm. "_Diffindo!_" Tonks called to sever the snake in half, but a jet of dark violet light from behind deflected it.

"Look out!" shouted a portrait as Tonks whipped around.

"My, aren't we a troll," cackled a voice behind her. There was no fear in her voice; the disguise was useless. _No, that's not possible, she's in Azkaban_, thought Tonks as she turned and saw her face. But it was certainly Bellatrix Lestrange. Tonks got over her shock quickly and it was replaced by sick fear. She shrunk down into her normal size. _I just have to hold her and the snake off until the Healers come._

"It must be from your side of the family," Tonks shot back as she took her more normal appearance, only with an edgy, black hair cut and green streaks that would have shot fear and admiration in the hearts of punk teenagers, but not to a prison-hardened Death Eater. "Don't you recognize me, Auntie Bella?"

The laughter died on Bellatrix Lestrange's face and was replaced by angry revulsion.

"_Auntie_? Ah-" she said, the thought dawning on her. Her face darkened rather than lightened at the realization. "You're my worthless sister's brat. The little, freak changeling." _Do anything to keep her occupied,_ Tonks said in her head.

"_You're my worthless sister's brat_," mimicked Tonks in a girlish high voice as she changed her form to look like Bellatrix, only clownish. She felt disgusting.

"You dare?" hissed Bellatrix, gripping her wand. "You dare to mock me, the Dark Lord's most powerful and favorite follower? A word's request to him and your whole filthy family will be six feet under in a fortnight. And I would so love to have such a dishonor as your existence be wiped away from the pure world the new era will bring."

"Oh yeah?" asked Tonks, trying not to let the desperate fear she was feeling show. She shifted back to herself and normal pink pixie hair. Bellatrix had a sneering look now. "If that was so important to you, why haven't you had them killed before? If you're such pals with your master."

"Do not doubt my influence!" said Bellatrix more angrily and forcefully. "If I had shown more inclination, you would not have made it to Hogwarts the first time. But my purposes are the Dark Lord's, he and I are one, and his vision is far-reaching. You, your Mudblood father and my disgusting sister will all be dead—it is only a matter of time now. I may as well get a head start now-" She raised her wand to curse Tonks.

"How'd you get out of Azkaban, Auntie?" asked Tonks, scornfully. "Thought you were in for life."

"Oh, do you think _that_ is beyond his powers?" screeched Bellatrix in an ugly laugh, lowering her wand unconsciously. "A child's trick for him. The Dementors answer to him now—he has promised them a sea of souls to feed on. He has not forgotten me, his most devoted servant. He has lessened the irritating confinement of Azkaban for a few nights. I must go back, of course, until—well, it wouldn't do to tell _you_, would it? But it is _so _nice to stretch a bit! _Crucio!_"

Tonks felt the spell hit her. She stuffed the front of her shirt into her mouth quickly to keep from biting her tongue again. The pain washed over her, but she was stronger and ready this time. One knee fell to the floor but she kept her mind.

"_Stupefy!_" she screamed, releasing the shirt out of her mouth. The spell missed Bellatrix by a wide margin, but the witch was astonished nonetheless at Tonks' resistance. Tonks felt the spell melt off of her as its caster was no longer paying attention to it.

"How-?" shot Bellatrix, but Tonks was quicker.

"_Petrificus Totalus! Impedimenta!_ _Reducto!"_ The three spells came out like lightening, but Bellatrix dodged the first and deflected the last two.

"How weak, but predictable," sighed Bellatrix, inspecting her wand as if it had a piece of dust on it. "No pet of Dumbledore's would use an Unforgivable Curse, would they? Not even if it gets them what they want. I don't understand it."

"It's called _morality_," said Tonks scathingly, standing on her two feet again. "And if you had a spine, you would understand."

"Don't talk to _me_ about morality! What do you call what your sad excuse of a mother did?" shrieked Bellatrix. "She may as well have married herself to the dog that scavenged in the alley behind our house! She married that Mudblood and dishonored her family! It took _years_ for Madame Lestrange to speak to me after that! Narcissa didn't get married until five years later when the scandal died down! And _then_ it was to that Lucius Malfoy, a pureblood family, yes, but dabbling for ages in blackmail and bribery, all commonly known. My parents had no option but to sell her to bunch of thieves because of Andromeda's foolhardy choice-"

"Oy, they're coming!" the portrait shouted. "The Healers are here! They're in the lobby!"

"'Bout time!" shouted Tonks.

"You are cleverer than your stupid half-blood face looks," said Bellatrix coolly. "You've had me talking all this time about buried family history when I should have been killing you and that Weasley traitor behind you."

"I am ready for it," said Tonks defiantly. It sounded much braver than she felt.

"As pleasurable as it would be, it must wait for another day," sighed Bellatrix. "It so would have pleased my master to have finished Weasley, but all I am required to do is fetch his dear pet and make sure no harm comes to her. _Accio Nagini!" _She cried. The snake flew out of the Shield Charm and lightly draped around Bellatrix's neck. The voices of Healers could be heard coming down the lift.

Tonks quickly tried to shout out an Anti-Disapparating Jinx, but Bellatrix had already gone.

"Quickly, he's been here some time!" a voice came from above. Tonks saw their feet sliding into view behind the golden grille. She ran to the end of the corridor where the turn was. She watched from there as three Healers came rushing out.

"Pye, the pomegranate," commanded an older healer to a younger wizard. The older Healer cushioned Arthur's head and inspected his wounds.

"Yes, sir," he said, rummaging in the bag for a moment, then producing a red liquid in a vial.

"Thank you. Mr. Weasley? Can you hear me? He's not conscious, Pye."

"_Rennervate,_" murmured the younger man as the Healer propped Mr. Weasley up and tried to get him to drink the pomegranate concoction. Arthur began to mumble and swallow the juice.

"He's critical. That spell will only last a few moments and we can't let him drift off again."

"Smethwyck?" asked the third Healer, who had been standing aside. "How should we move him? I can create a Portkey, or you can do a Side-Along Apparition-"

"A Portkey," decided Smethwyck after a moment's hesitation. "To your ward, I should think. Be ready in five minutes and have the staff ready." The witch vanished with a 'pop.' Smethwyck turned back to Arthur. "The Venom Vacuum, Pye."

Tonks sucked in breath quietly. She had seen the device the Healer was about to use in Auror training. She watched as Pye handed Smethwyck a rusty, flexible tube attached to a hand pump. They attached it his arm where the wounds were. Pye held his breath while Smethwyck braced himself.

"Aughmhgph!" Arthur cried out in pain, even in his semi-awake state.

"Just a few more," said Pye reassuringly as Smethwyck pumped again in two short, quick movements.

"CrifmamughaaARHG!" he tried to sit up, but Pye pushed him back down. Tonks cringed.

"That's enough," said Smethwyck, handing the Vacuum back to his junior. "I nabbed about half of it. Antidotes and medicine at St. Mungo's should be enough to help him make it. If he's going to make it—that's in a power above ours now."

"Here. Ten seconds," said the witch who Apparated with a 'pop' again. She held out an empty jar of Skele-gro to the others. Pye put a finger on it while Smethwyck grabbed Arthur's hand gently and with his own and touched the jar. All four were gone when Tonks looked again.

The dark hall was now silent. Tonks inspected where Arthur had lain; there was a pool of blood on the floor. She felt the fear she had abated enter her all over in the dark. _Just a little longer_, she told the tears welling in her eyes. She Disapparated from that horrible hall.

She appeared in the lobby of St. Mungo's. Several witches and wizards were in line while others sat nervously in chairs. Tonks didn't see Molly or Lupin; they were probably on the floor where Arthur was.

There was a line to talk to the Welcome Witch. Tonks despised the Welcome Witch; she never seemed to age, from the time Tonks was four and provoking Doxies attacks, until the present, and she was always cranky and especially rude to Tonks. It had only been that one time an eight-year-old Tonks had slimed her with a Retching Jinx accidentally. Tonks debated cutting to the front of the line; but she remembered that they were all in similar predicaments. She didn't have the right to cut.

However, she was sufficiently irked enough, what with the combination of intense fear and impatience, when she was at the head of the line to speak frankly and forcefully.

"Yes?" asked the Welcome Witch, propped up on one arm and reading Witch Weekly, not looking at Tonks.

"I'd like to see Arthur Weasley."

"Sorry, unless you're family or a registered Healer-"

"It's important," said Tonks loudly and angrily enough that half the lobby had gone quiet.

"Third floor," said the witch meekly, frowning at her. "Second door on your right."

"Thank you," said Tonks coldly. She jogged to the lift and went up.

The lift doors opened again and she saw Lupin and Molly sitting in collapsible chairs outside the second door. Molly's head rested on Lupin's shoulder as he patted her arm. The whole left side of his torso was soaked—clearly she had outdone her hanky with her tears. She looked exhausted by the amount of worrying she had done and was lightly sleeping. However, she instantly awoke at Tonks' approach.

"TONKS!" she cried in relief. Lupin's eyes lit up when he saw her, smiling and relaxing slightly. She faintly smiled back at him, but his face was obscured by Molly's bushy red hair as she gave her a tight, bone-crushing hug. "You were gone so long, we were so scared—did you see him? Did you see Arthur? Is he alive? The Healers won't say anything, we just found out a moment ago that he was brought here-"

"He was only brought here a moment ago," said Tonks. "I just left the Ministry."

"Is he going to make it?" asked Molly. Tonks looked uncomfortable and pained. At this Molly looked at her fiercely. "Don't you dare lie, Nymphadora! Don't you dare duffy up the truth!"

"The Healers don't know," replied Tonks evenly. "They say he has a chance. They were able to remove about half the snake's venom."

"Snake?" asked Molly, horrified. "He was attacked by a snake?"

"Yes," said Tonks, making eye contact with Lupin.

"What sort-"

"Molly," interrupted Lupin quietly, a hand on her shoulder. "There is nothing you can do here but make yourself more nervous. Your children are at Grimmauld Place right now, worried sick. Arthur is alive and is going to make it. Go tell them. Tonks and I will stay here and we will inform you the moment we hear more news." Tonks nodded immediately in agreement.

"You're right, of course," said Molly, pocketing her handkerchief, looking dazed. "My children…the moment you hear!"

"Of course," agreed Lupin.

"Thank you so much, both of you," Molly cried, smushing Lupin and Tonks together in a big embrace around both of them. "I'll be off." She released them (they stepped awkwardly away from each other) and she quickly trotted to the lift and disappeared down it, waving sullenly.

"What happened?" asked Lupin immediately. But Tonks shuddered, her final emotional defenses failing. She ran over to the chair and collapsed on it, throwing her head into her hands and sobbing uncontrollably.

"I'm so sorry," whimpered Tonks, wiping the water from her reddening face.

"Sh," hushed Lupin, pulling her to his chest. She laid her head obediently on it, soaking it. His arm was around her shoulders, rubbing her arm comfortingly.

"Sorry," she repeated, feeling dumb and weak. "I'm getting your robes wet."

"That's okay. There's not a lot that hasn't been done to this set of robes," said Lupin lightly. "Anyway, symmetry is always pleasing to the eye," he added, pointing to Molly's tear stains. Tonks laughed quietly and buried her face in his chest again, letting a few moments go by. Her terror and anxiety seemed to melt away quickly as she inhaled the scent of his clothes—cedar and something that reminded her of a wild dog or wolf, for some reason. It was a comforting smell and it calmed her.

"Sorry," she said for the third time. She straightened up but Remus didn't remove his arm.

"I do not think anywhere in the Auror's Vow does it say that you cannot cry."

"I feel ridiculous though," she sighed. "I'm not as brave as everyone else in the Order."

"I do not believe that. What happened at the Ministry?" asked Lupin again, more gently this time.

"I got there," began Tonks. "And I went to Arthur. He was bleeding and unconscious. And there was a snake. A huge green snake with evil eyes. It was one of the creepiest things I'd ever seen."

"That must have been Voldemort's snake, Nagini," deduced Lupin, his eyes widening. "She is a vicious weapon. She eats Voldemort's victims of the Killing Curse. You are lucky to be alive."

"That's not all," said Tonks. "I think I could have handled the snake, that's why Dumbledore sent me; but someone showed up he could not have anticipated."

"Who?" asked Lupin with a frown.

"My aunt," swallowed Tonks. "Bellatrix Lestrange."

"_What?_" Lupin yelped, startled. Tonks nodded vigorously. "The witch that tortured the Longbottoms? That is impossible, she is in Azkaban."

"It was her. She knew my whole family history. She said that he can even break into Azkaban, that he has the guards, the Dementors, under his control."

"This is horrible beyond words," said Lupin, blanching, looking away. "If he has his followers--the imprisoned ones--he will be nearly unstoppable. We must tell Dumbledore." But he didn't move, but merely looked to her to continue.

"I tried to keep her occupied until the Healers arrived. I insulted her, she insulted me. Then we started dueling. I'd managed to pen up the snake but she deflected all my curses. She is—so powerful." Tonks shuddered at remembering how easily she had held herself against Tonks' best efforts. "She put me under the Cruciatus Curse, but I fought it and I won. She tried to kill me and Arthur, but the Healers were coming. She took the snake and Disapparated."

Lupin looked at her with horrified wonder, then embraced her more forcefully than Molly had done. He held her, his chin hooked over her shoulder, and Tonks felt warm all over.

"You are an incredible witch, Nymphadora," Lupin breathed, releasing her but holding both her hands in his. "Only Voldemort is more powerful than Bellatrix Lestrange in Dark magic. To have fought her and stood your ground—this is more than most can brag. Have some chocolate." He pulled out a few pieces from his pocket and gave them to her.

"Thanks," she replied, taking a bite. It was a bigger relief than she had imagined. "Mmm. I love chocolate. And I feel a lot better now." Then her smile faded. "It's more than I can say for Arthur."

"If there is any chance, he will pull through," said Lupin confidently. "He is not a man that has nothing to live for and he knows it, so he will not give up."

"There's no such thing as a man that has nothing to live for," replied Tonks. Lupin looked at her. A moment passed, and the thought that he might try to kiss her flitted hopefully through Tonks' mind, but the moment was gone as soon as it had come.

"I'm glad to hear it," he said with obvious sincerity and warmth, as though her opinion had lit a cheery fire.

"Are you waiting for news about Arthur Weasley?" asked a Healer, coming out of the second door. Lupin and Tonks snapped to attention.

"Yes," they responded together at once.

"My name is Hippocrates Smethwyck from the Dai Llewyllen ward down on the first floor, and I'm Mr. Weasley's assigned Healer."

"Nice to meet you," replied Lupin, but they didn't give names in return. They knew better in these days.

"He was apparently bitten by an animal, a snake by the look of the venom. He lost a lot of blood, but he is stable. We've got him on several different Potions right now, including a Blood-Replenishing Potion and the Draught of the Living Dead. He is sleeping now and probably will not wake up until noon tomorrow. But we do believe that he will be fine. While serious, his wounds are not permanent."

"This is very good news," replied Lupin.

"Yes, it is," agreed the Healer. "Had the snake done any more damage or had we arrived much later, we couldn't have helped him." He looked back into the ward. "I have to go back to work, now. We're watching him 'round the clock. His condition is very stable. I suggest you two go home for the night and get some sleep. Especially you, Mac," he added, addressing Lupin and his tired-looking appearance. "Have your wife here make you some tea and relax."

"Thank you, I'll—ah—do that," agreed Lupin stoically. Tonks blushed furiously, which she promptly concealed, but Remus didn't look her in the face anyway for several moments.

"Oh, and he'll probably be moved into another ward tomorrow," said Smethwyck, walking back into the room. "Just so you know."

"Thanks," called Tonks. The door closed again. "Do you think we could just keep the thing about Bellatrix to ourselves? We'd tell Dumbledore, of course."

"That sounds fine," nodded Remus. "Let's go."

* * *

Thanks to everyone who reviewed...means a lot to me. If you read it, please review it.


	6. Chapter 6

_January _

"Are you feeling severe today?" asked Remus, surveying Tonks' appearance. She was tall with steely gray hair and looked much older than Lupin. He sat on the counter of her old, oversized vanity at Grimmauld Place as she surveyed her appearance.

"I'm afraid she'll show up today," confided Tonks as she secured the hair into a bun. She picked an old, tweed cloak out of a dusty closet in her room. "I miffed her. If I'm unrecognizable, maybe there'll be less chance of being attacked."

"If she is Voldemort's servant, her desire to kill Harry can hardly be less motivation than her desire to kill you."

"All the same," replied Tonks, adjusting the glasses she had picked for the occasion. Echoes of the Cruciatus Curse bounced on her nerves; the fear was making her irritable.

"Come," beckoned Lupin gently, standing. "The sooner we leave, the better."

Tonks followed him down the stairs of the house. They waved to the teenagers returning to Hogwarts to follow. Tonks watched Harry carefully when she wasn't watching the street. Lupin called the Knight Bus. It appeared quickly—she threatened the conductor, then shoved Harry on first. Lupin made sure she went ahead of him.

_Bugger, it's full._ It couldn't possibly be a good thing.

Tonks put Fred, George and Ginny together on the lower level, then sent Ron, Hermione and Harry to the top. Tonks sat up front, right near the conductor.

"Wha choo sittin' up here for?" asked the conductor.

"Just try to stop me," snapped Tonks. "Actually, we'd like to be let off next, if you don't mind a little extra gold in your pockets." She slid a Galleon into the conductor's pocket, then one in the driver's. The conductor swallowed.

"Righ' then," he murmured. "'Ogwarts it is, then. Just got to let off Madam Marsh, here." The conductor went to the upper level while Tonks remained where she was. She threw a thumbs up to Remus, who unfortunately sat squished between the two Weasley twins.

They got off the bus as soon as they arrived at Hogsmeade. Tonks said farewell to Ginny the longest; Tonks was rather fond of her. Lupin gave some last minute advice to Harry about Occlumency.

Lupin went back to the back of the Knight Bus.

"Here," said Tonks, giving Stan the address for her Covent Garden apartment. They didn't want all the people on the Knight Bus to see Grimmauld Place, even if it was hidden by the Fidelius Charm.

"Right-o," said Stan. His hand was outstretched. "Will you be wantin' another, ah, advanced position?"

"No," said Tonks coldly. "I can wait." She took her place beside Remus.

"I'm worried about these Occlumency lessons that Harry is going to have," said Lupin quietly, although the very large wizard that now occupied Fred's seat was fast asleep and snoring. "I wish that I could be the one—but of course, that's quite impossible."

"You still want to be a teacher?" asked Tonks, surprised.

"It was the best job I ever had," Lupin replied honestly. "Circumstances being what they were, I had to leave. I regret it, but there were larger, more important factors at work, such as Padfoot's innocence being discovered by the correct people. Perhaps when the war is over, I will petition to be reinstated."

"You should," Tonks said, nodding vigorously. "Or start Auror training, I'm sure Kingsley would give you a recommendation. Anyway," she said to distract Remus from his faint blush at the praise, "what did you say to the new werewolf at St. Mungo's? Ginny told me you were talking to him."

"Oh, you know," said Lupin, biting his lip gently. "Keep your chin up, that sort of thing."

"That's really nice. Me, I'd be scared," said Tonks. Lupin frowned. "Well, not _very_ scared. My mum used to tell me she'd set werewolves on me if I didn't behave. Never met one myself, although we had to learn how to identify them at Hogwarts. My mum heard a rumor that the wolf makes the human vicious even when the full moon is not out."

"Not true," Lupin said immediately and with such ferocity that it startled Tonks slightly. "The human is quite sane and his normal self during the other days of the month. A change only occurs during the full moon."

"Oh," said Tonks shortly, embarrassed. "I suppose you know it well, being a professor and all. It was just something my mum used to say. I expect it's a lot of tosh from her childhood at the Blacks."

"Yes, of course," said Lupin quietly. "Sorry."

"Quite all right," replied Tonks. They sat in silence as a few more people were let off of the Knight Bus, stop by stop. They even found themselves driving along a forest path and stopping finally at a house that seemed to be made of sweet gingerbread, icing and candy; the conductor let off a rather warty, hunchbacked witch. Tonks looked out at the setting sun, wishing he would say something.

After touring all over Britain, it seemed, with several stops in northern France, they finally arrived at Covent Garden.

"This is us," said Tonks when Remus didn't stand up to follow her.

"No, I'm going back to Grimmauld Place," he said quietly.

"What?" hissed Tonks back. A few people were watching with interest. "You can't lead this bus back there-"

"I'll take a different route."

"Don't be ridiculous-"

"I can't go with you. Not tonight. I'm sorry," he said, clipped. "I will see you back at the house in the morning." Tonks was stunned at his tone, which was usually hoarse but warm. Now it was sharp. She stumbled to the front, tripping over a wizard's cane as she got off the bus, feeling stupid. She didn't even see his face as the Knight Bus zoomed off.

She was slightly angry but mostly confused. Had their argument really been so tense that he didn't want to be anywhere near her? That he was going out of his way to take an alternate route to avoid her? She frowned as she went to her apartment.

Once she was in, she locked the door with an Imperturbable Charm and sank down into her sofa. Ultimately, she just felt depressed. Did he not like her? _This stupid crush. He's obviously not my boyfriend! I don't have any hold over him!_

She gave up and went to bed, shutting the curtains to block out the bright moonlight. She was determined to visit the house early before work.

* * *

When she got up, she made her coffee quickly and decided to take some in a thermos (a useful Muggle device) for Remus. From her flat she Apparated to the steps of Grimmauld Place. She was careful not to trip on the umbrella stand as she had done once before. She saw a harassed-looking Sirius carrying a bowl with water and a damp cloth. 

"Wotcher, Sirius," she said apprehensively as he came toward her.

"Hi, Tonks. Can you take care of Remus? I have to get breakfast started, Dumbledore's going to be here soon," said Sirius. He looked exhausted and nervous as he pushed the bowl into her hand. "Did you hear in the Daily Prophet?"

"What's wrong with Remus?" asked Tonks quickly. Sirius frowned at her, then seemed to read something on her face.

"Just sick," he said, looking away. "But in the Prophet, there's been a mass breakout from Azkaban. And they're blaming it on me, that I helped them," he muttered bitterly. Tonks felt her stomach drop.

"Is Bellatrix Lestrange out?" asked Tonks quietly.

"Yes, our dear cousin," he muttered. "And nine others. Rookwood. Dolohov. These are the Death Eaters that we need to be afraid of—those who would die for Voldemort."

Tonks shivered, thinking of nine Bellatrix Lestranges, all facing her with sinister smiles.

"Remus is in the second bedroom on this floor," said Sirius, turning toward the kitchen.

"What? Why's he in there? That's room's disgusting, no one goes in there," she said, but he had already zipped away, apparently not hearing her. She walk through the corridor that none of the Order cared to walk down, unless the other toilet was broken. It was dank and depressing. Although the first bedroom had been cleared out, the second was deemed beyond their aid.

All the candles were burning, but it still seemed rather dark. She intensified their flames and conjured a few more candles for light. All the furniture except the bed was broken—the centuries old armoire, the chest of drawers, and the bookcase all looked as though they had pissed off a possessed axe. The bed sheets and quilt on the bed were all tattered and stained with liquids that did not seem as innocent as water.

And looking just as dark, beaten and tattered as the room was Remus lying on his back on the bed, moaning gently. His eyes were sunk and his face was pale. There was a fresh rip in his robes that had already been patched and re-patched. There was a thin scratch on his face, a red line with tiny bubbles of blood here and there. She noticed the similar scars on his face, down his neck—were there more on his body that were obscured by his clothes?

"Merlin's pants, Remus!" Tonks whispered as she sat beside him. He darkened eyelids snapped open.

"Nympha—dora," he coughed with surprise. It sounded as if he had hair caught in his throat.

"_Tonks_, Remus," she chided gently, placed the cold compress to his forehead. He hesitated, straining his neck, but then relaxed as she persisted. His lips were white. "You look a sight! Have you come down with something?"

"A recurring illness," he replied, his voice hoarser than ever. He accepted a sip from a glass of water that she had conjured. "I'll be fine by noontime. Dumbledore will understand my absence." He took another sip. He coughed several time, and hair _did _come out. Tonks stared at in surprise.

"Hairball, much?" she asked. Lupin laughed, making him look much healthier than he did when he looked sullen. Then he had another coughing fit and took some water. "Is this normal?"

"Fairly," he muttered.

"Blimey, no wonder you always look under the weather." If possible, she felt her heart sink deeper in pity for him. She wanted to run her fingers through his hair and touch his tired face. But she thought it would be a bit pervy, seeing as they were colleagues of a sort.

"No help for it, I'm afraid," he sighed, looking forlorn. It was an invitation for her to excuse herself, if she wanted. But she stayed, sitting in the dusty chair and took his right hand into both of hers. He looked at their clasped hands, then up at her face and smiled. He bit his lip and choked out suddenly, "You're a very important person to me, Nymphadora."

"Aw, thanks Remus!" Tonks replied with a wide grin. He gave short, breathy laugh.

"Don't worry about this. I'll be fine by noon. You heard about the breakout?" asked Remus, sitting up slightly but failing. Tonks fetched a pillow and helped him.

"Yeah. Sirius told me," she said, trying to blink back a look of fear.

"Then you know already that we've got much worse things to think about." He looked straight ahead. "I recognized most of the names Sirius read—torturers, killers of our friends and fellow Order members. It was a past and a grief we had all hoped to bury."

Tonks snapped her fingers to break the tension.

"I'll go get us some breakfast," she said, getting up. She walked out of the dank bedroom and saw Arthur, Molly, Hestia and Mundungus going into the dining room. Sirius was finishing in the kitchen and Tonks nabbed some toast and marmalade with a Summoning Charm. Her cousin shot her an annoyed look.

"Meeting's starting. Seeing as you're an Auror, and it's hunting Dark Wizards we're talking about, it's probably important that you're _there_." Sirius looked disgruntled, but she suspected it was more frustration that he couldn't have the same responsibilities.

"Love you too, cuz," piped Tonks, slipping out the door. She tripped as she hurried, but managed to save the food with a quick Hovering Charm. More carefully, she proceeded into Remus' room with the food.

"Thank you," he said as the food lowered into his lap safely.

"No problem. I wish I could stay here, but I-"

"The meeting couldn't be more relevant to you. You have to go," said Lupin emphatically. She smiled and started for the door. She paused nervously, then pounced back on him, pecking him on the forehead with a mumbled 'feel better,' leaving him slightly flustered as she hurried out the door, crashing into the wall as she went.

"Oh, is that you making all that noise, Nymphadora?" asked Dumbledore as she tripped into the dining room and quickly took her place.

"Sorry," she murmured as fifteen pairs of eyes watched her with mixtures of curiosity and annoyance.

"As I was saying," said Snape, eying her icily. She remembered when he had given her those looks when he was teaching her N.E.W.T. Potions class. "His intent is unclear at the moment. He seems to have a plan that he is not sharing with us, but this is hardly unusual. Many times the Death Eaters do not understand him until they are finished completing a task."

"Where are they being kept?" asked Kingsley.

"Malfoy Manor," replied Snape. "But do not expect to get in. There will be no premise available for you to search it and they will use full legal action to keep you from it. You will only lose your job if you make an attempt. And if that is not enough, keep in mind that Lucius has a great host of anti-intruder curses that showcase the many types of death to which the body can be subjected."

No one doubted his words, as furious as it made them that Lucius Malfoy had so much influence in the Ministry.

"Is there anything we can do?" asked Tonks. "Any of them that slipped up?"

"Not at the moment. Their escape was clean and they were shielded by the rogue Dementors as they made their way south. These are not the moronic followers that weren't important enough to attract attention from the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. I would warn any of our Hit Wizards and Aurors to be on their guard—the worst of Azkaban has been let loose."

As if Tonks needed telling that.

* * *

A/N: Thank you readers & reviewers!

Thanks to legalien, YouLuvMeCosImCrazy, sgHPfan, Noc007, sarah, DT-19 and Legallyblonde79 for your comments! Double thanks to Ashes2Dreams, who left two reviews, which is twice as nice.


	7. Chapter 7

_February_

It had been a rather useless month and a half. Tonks felt increasingly frustrated as she put up the posters around Diagon Alley from Auror's Headquarters—_Have You Seen These Wizards and Witches? Wanted by the Ministry of Magic for Various Heinous and Unspeakable Crimes_. There were eleven moving, disturbing pictures—the ten who had escaped recently and the infamous Sirius Black.

_You're all at Malfoy Manor,_ thought Tonks angrily at the pictures. _Well, except for you, Sirius. _

The Aurors had been on-call, tense, alert, like soldiers waiting for the enemy to ambush. But there was nothing. A few, false tips from senile old witches were all they got.

Tonks Apparated to Grimmauld Place. She went straight to the parlor and collapsed on a chair, fuming.

"You look glum," accused Lupin, as he came to sit on the sofa near her. Sirius followed shortly.

"Have you seen Kreacher?" he asked.

"No," replied Tonks grumpily.

"Hmph," he replied, frowning, stalking out.

"It's infectious," noted Lupin cheerfully. Even though Tonks shot him a glare for being so happy, he remained unfazed. He took out his wand, tapped his closed fist and opened it. There was a pretty, pink orchid, the exact hue of Tonks' hair, sitting in his palm. She took it gingerly out of his hand, not wanting to destroy it with her clumsiness. She tucked it behind her ear and her ill mood evaporated. "Happy St. Valentine's Day, Tonks."

"Is it Valentine's Day?" she asked, incredulous.

"It is. Though I have no idea why, this has always been a favorite holiday of mine." He smiled and stood up, brushing some of the dust off of his robes. Tonks squinted at him.

"_Finite Incantatem,"_ she said, pointing her finger at him in place of a wand.

"Very funny," he said, still grinning. "Care for some tea?"

"As long you spike it with whatever you're taking," said Tonks, regarding him suspiciously. A moment later he brought a steaming pot of tea and two cups. Tonks had barely taken a sip before he broke out in another smile.

"I have a surprise to show you," he said. Although his demeanor and facial expression remained that of a thirty-something man, his tone was that of a teenage boy.

"I think your condition's kicking in and that you should have a bit of a lie-down first," said Tonks slowly.

"Not at all," he said dismissively. He set his barely-touched teacup down on the tray and Tonks followed suit. "Come with me, you'll like it, I think."

He stood up and led her past the second bedroom where she had taken care of him that morning a month and a half ago. After the third bedroom (used by Dumbledore on his rare overnight visits), there was a door at the end of the corridor that Tonks had never used.

"I wouldn't go in there," a portrait labeled 'Elladora' in gilded script sneered at them. It was an eight-year-old witch with very frilly robes and mousy, bouncy curls.

"I wouldn't wear that dress, either," Tonks said, eying the frills. The girl gave a huff of indignation and stalked off to another portrait.

"In here," said Remus, gently pushing the small of Tonks' back. She closed her eyes to enjoy the sensation, but regretted it when she opened them. It was completely dark when Remus closed the door. Tonks got nervous—they could have been in a closet or a ballroom for all she knew. She drew her wand.

"_Lumos,_" she said, but Remus shouted 'No!' and grabbed the length of her wand arm and her waist, pulling her close into the cushion of his body, protecting her. Tonks got a little lightheaded, but didn't fail to notice the Venemous Tentacula that snapped ferociously out from the wall at the space that she had just occupied.

"_Nox,_" he said, taking her wand out of her hand. He released her body as the light went out and they were plunged into darkness again, but he held onto her arm.

"Hey!" she called indignantly, groping in the darkness for her wand back. She found his neck and tried to, as professionally as possible, slide her hand down his arm to get it. She found his other hand and snatched the wand.

"Sorry. I didn't want you to set off another trap."

"You coulda told me-"

"I didn't want to scare you-"

"I'm an Auror, Merlin's beard, Remus!" Although she found she couldn't really be angry at him, it did miff her that he lacked confidence in her.

"I wanted you to be surprised, that was all," he said guiltily. "But we have to go in the dark. No outside light is allowed in here, or it sets off curses and nasty hexes."

"What's in here? What is this?" she asked. He took her by the hand, tightly and led her into the darkness. She followed blindly, frightened, but not doubting him.

"This is the Black family Collection Chamber," he informed her. "Sirius mentioned it in passing. He had been here a few times but he has no interest in it. As the family name suggests, one must be comfortable with darkness—pure blackness—to gain admission. This is only the antechamber."

"A Collection Chamber?" asked Tonks, thinking. "My mum never mentioned it. I bet Moody would know something about it."

"Maybe in general," replied Lupin. "Of it specifically, I doubt it. Before even Gringotts was open—which was many centuries ago—old families preferred to store their treasure in their private manor homes in catacombs or subterranean caves. While the Blacks do have a vault at Gringotts, it contains only gold, while their heirlooms are stored—here."

Tonks felt him stop, then realized they had reached the other side of the room. A tap of Remus' wand three times and a whisper of "_toujours pur_" opened the door to the Collection Chamber. When Tonks looked in, her heart sank when she saw that it, too, was pitch black.

The door closed, but suddenly sallow light illumed all around the Chamber from ancient candelabra. Although the light was not cheery, the windowless room was now well-lit.

The light revealed something that resembled, to Tonks, the structure of the Hufflepuff common room—old furniture with antiques spotted all around the room, but with none of the warmth and sunshine that Hufflepuff seemed to let in. The furniture was claw-footed and—what else?—black. But besides the furniture, there was a suit of armor that stood stationary alongside a trophy case that housed several ancient Orders of Merlin, third and second class. A sword, with black, crusted blood clinging to the blade, was hanging on the wall over a large chest without a lock. The Black family crest hung over the fireplace, where a black flame burned next to a decrepit, ebony piano in the corner. The only feature that seemed out of place was a tall mirror that looked older than anything else in the room, with a glittering gold frame. _Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi_, it read at the top.

"Well?" asked Lupin, perhaps with a tinge of nervousness. "What do you think, Tonks?"

"This is cool," affirmed Tonks. "Creepy, but cool. Like a secret hideout for the Black family. Pretty low security, though, don't you think? For your most valued possessions? I think I'd choose Gringotts any day."

"Well, this house itself used to be as a Gringotts vault. I remember visiting 12 Grimmauld Place once, the summer after my third year at Hogwarts, with Sirius, Peter and James. Sirius' mother—your great aunt—wasn't as horrible as her painting, at least not outwardly. She was tolerant of James, who came from an ancient although somewhat reclusive wizarding family. James was allowed to go to Sirius' room to collect some things, while his mother did everything but expressly forbid Peter and I from going any farther than the parlor. Sirius spent the rest of those holidays apologizing for his mother. He only went back one time after that, to get his trunk and leave for good. Until now, of course."

"I guess the screaming portraits show we've gone deeper than they ever thought possible when we're all in the dining room."

"Exactly." Lupin touched a key of the piano. "How do you feel about Beethoven?"

"Who?" asked Tonks. Lupin laughed, sat down and began to play a slow, melancholic piece that seemed to flow in waves. Tonks found it eerie and compelling, as though she were dreaming. She wandered toward the mirror and looked into it.

She breathed in air suddenly as she saw Remus behind her. Had he Apparated? But no, he was still sitting at the piano. But he was standing beside her now, holding her hand, holding her close. Then, beside Tonks was a blue-haired boy that was as tall as her hip. At the height of her knee was a green-haired girl, tugging on Tonks' pant legs, looking up at her with an unmistakable look of admiration, love and need.

Tonks felt as though she were lost in a reverie. She felt the music swallow her. The children were unmistakably Metamorphmagi, as their hair turned different colors and shapes, but they had the solemn looks of Remus Lupin. _If he and I had children, that's what they'd look like, probably! _She touched the mirror's frame. Did it show the future? Or was it a Dark artifact, causing despair by showing what would never be possible? She wanted to ask him, but she blushed with fear. He finished the deep strains of the piece and Tonks snapped out of her dream state, stepping to the side. She could no longer see herself in the mirror.

"Interesting mirror," said Tonks, as though she had been admiring the frame.

"A recent addition," said Lupin, closing the cover over the keys of the piano. "It was Dumbledore's, he had brought it from Hogwarts and placed it here. I suppose it has an enchantment of some kind—Dumbledore felt rather secretive about it."

"Hm," said Tonks. She looked around the room and grinned. "This is really cool, Remus."

"I know," he replied, beaming ear to ear. "It's been so long since I've shared an adventure like this, it's somewhat exhilarating." He surveyed the room once before looking to her. "Ready to go back."

"Definitely," she said. She grabbed his hand again as they started out into the pitch blackness. "I can't believe there are no other enchantments guarding this place—you just walk through the room in the dark?"

"Is that so hard to believe?" asked Remus. "Beside the fact that it is deep within the House of Black, a thief who would turn on the light—should he escape the snapping plant—would not likely venture forth in the dark. Darkness is, for many people, their deceptively greatest fear. If you are in your own room in the dark, what fear do you have? Indeed, it is a comfort and allows you to sleep. If you are in the dark in a strange place, what fear _don't_ you have?"

"You've spent a lot of time thinking about this," said Tonks. After a moment, they found the door and Tonks shivered as they passed the Venomous Tentacula.

"Dumbledore occasionally shares some of his philosophy with me," said Remus, as he opened the door to the corridor in the house, "when he finds the time. One of the reasons—and there are many reasons—that I respect him so greatly is his abundantly healthy attitude toward the unknown and his own death one day, making him so very different from Voldemort. I find great confidence in that, and I know he will not lead us astray."

He let go of Tonks' hand as they walked past the first bedroom and into the sitting room.

"Where were you?" asked Sirius suspiciously. He had a pile of _Daily Prophets_ in front of him.

"We were checking out the Black family Collection Chamber," replied Tonks.

"Oh," said Sirius blankly. "Well, if you see anything you like, it's all half-price. Which was nothing in the first place." He stood up and collected the papers to bring them upstairs with the other piles.

Remus tapped the pot of tea he had left on the table with his wand to reheat it. He did the same to his cup.

"So, it's Valentine's Day," said Tonks. She was significantly cheered up. "Let's go out!"

"What?" asked Remus, spilling some tea on his robes.

"_Scourgify,_" said Tonks, wiping the spill away with a flick of her wand. "I know a great place in Covent Garden. What do you think about dinner?"

"I haven't got—I mean, I can't-" he stuttered, embarrassed.

"My treat," said Tonks graciously, setting down her tea cup. "Aren't you hungry? Come on."

"Nymph-"

"Tonks, Remus. My name is Tonks," she sighed with faux exasperation. She dragged him to the front step of Grimmauld Place and Disapparated.

They appeared in a broken phone booth, very close together. Tonks let them out—none of the few Muggles on the street had seen anything. They walked down the road, both receiving odd looks because of their robes and Tonks' pink hair.

"Here," she said, pushing him gently into a small, crowded restaurant that Remus could only surmise was French, by the smell of the food and style of the place. At least no one was paying attention to their appearances here—everyone was vying for a table. Remus looked around, but Tonks had vanished. He looked everywhere around the dense, bustling crowd, but her bright hair was nowhere to be seen. Had she pulled some sort of prank on him? His heart sunk slightly. That was probably it. Had he actually hoped that a nice woman would treat him to dinner? Like normal people? He felt a fool—the fate of most wizards was a cozy marriage and children, or at least a family life of some sort. But he was not normal—how had he overlooked that? And Tonks was so young, had he really forgotten that she was probably still a juvenile prankster at heart? She seemed so composed and mature when dealing with Order business and even listening to his problems. But here she was on her time off when she didn't have to be the way all the older adults wanted her to be. She was free to be as spirited as the Weasley twins, if she wanted, while he was graying and fading into the dirt like his robes. He turned toward the door to leave.

"_Finally_," sighed Tonks, reappearing. "That was worse than fighting Bellatrix, but I've got us a table, come on." Remus instantly felt ashamed for his thoughts about Tonks' maturity. All he needed was a quick look into her face to see the honesty and cheer etched into it. She grabbed his wrist and felt warmth all around it. Although his spirits somewhat rose as she chattered away about Confounding the maitre d' and the place's lobster bisque that was worth all the gold in the Black family vault, he still felt the shadow of the dark reality of his thoughts.

Their table was crushed in the corner by the kitchen, but there was a sweet little view of the street from the nearby window. Tonks' crossed legs smushed into the table slightly and the back of Remus' chair was touching the back of a Muggle's. They had to lean in closely to discuss wizarding things, although no one was really paying attention to them—it was, afterall, Valentine's Day.

"Good evening," a waiter greeted them almost immediately. Tonks winked at Remus while he gave her a slightly reproving but mostly mischievous smile back. The quick service was most likely not the usual order of this Muggle business. "Would 'oo like to 'ear ze specialty tonight?"

"No, _merci_," said Tonks. "I'll have the filet mignon and pumpkin ju—I mean, apple juice."

The waiter raised his eyebrows at Tonks' beverage request but did not say anything.

"_Bien_, miss. And you, sir?"

"_Avez-vous le coq au vin?_" asked Remus. Tonks smiled while listening.

"Ah, _oui. Et pour le bouvoir?_" replied the waiter.

"_Un verre petit d'aperitif, ca suffit, merci_," said Lupin.

"_Bien. Comment est-ce que vous parlez le francais si bien, monsieur?_" asked the waiter curiously, jotting something down, but Lupin was a little wary and tired.

"_C'est ma mere, elle est venue d'Avignon_," replied Lupin. Tonks had lost all sense of the conversation, except that Lupin had something about someone's mother.

"_Hm—alors, bon appetit,_" he said, bowing slightly and leaving quickly to another table.

"Show-off," accused Tonks, drinking from the water glass.

"What?" he asked, scratching the back of his neck.

"All that French. But it won't work," said Tonks, her eyes twinkling. Lupin wondered if it was just the flame from the stubby little candle that burned by the pepper or if it was just something inside her.

"Work? What do you mean?" Remus asked, sipping from his water glass.

"If you want to impress an Auror, you'll have to read _Top Ten Things that Impress Aurors, a Complete Guide. _By Mad-Eye Moody." Remus snorted quietly, dribbling water down his chin. He wiped it off hastily, to his embarrassment.

"I haven't seen such a work," he shot back with a grin. Tonks rested her elbow on the window ledge and looked out at the bright, electrical lamps on the Muggle cars moving quickly on the street.

"Oh really?" asked Tonks. "Number Ten—replace a limb or vital organ with a Dark detector. Number Nine—only drink from a private flask. Merlin, Remus, if you got yourself a hook for a hand and insisted watching every time Molly makes tea, I don't think I could possibly admire Dumbledore more than you."

"I wasn't trying to impress anyone," he said, looking down at the surface of the table. He couldn't quite blush but his cheeks looked less ashen. However, he hadn't spoken a full sentence of French for eight years and he couldn't account for it. "But a hooked hand sounds appealing. Or how about a foot that stomps the feet of Dark wizards?"

Tonks pretended to sigh like a thirteen-year-old witch at the sight of Gilderoy Lockheart. She toyed with the pink orchid, sticking her nose in it and inhaling—it smelled like the sea, curiously enough.

"What's your favorite Valentine's Day memory?" asked Tonks, closing her eyes to enjoy it.

"I'm not sure," replied Lupin, his eyes looking reminiscent. "I can't recall."

"Never? I thought you said this was your favorite holiday. You can't remember a card, a dance, a kiss-"

"No one but my mother," Remus laughed quietly. "She always sent me some chocolates. I've never had a Valentine's like this before—never with anyone like—that is, with such good company." He hastily took another sip of water. "Valentine's romance was more of a James and Sirius thing. Sirius always had a good line up his sleeves for any random girl he fancied, especially Madam Rosemerta at the Three Broomsticks, but James was more of a one-woman man. In our Seventh year, James took Lily to-"

"Sh," said Tonks, silencing him. "You know I love to heart stories about your friends at Hogwarts, but you always make it sound like they should be the only ones enjoying life, which they don't have, and that you are living your life like some sort of sad penitence for it. I want tonight to be about you."

Lupin didn't know what to say to that, but he was luckily spared by the arrival of his appetizer wine and chicken.

"And for you," the waiter said quickly as he quickly set down a glass with amber liquid and a steak in front of Tonks before rushing off back to the kitchen. "Enjoy."

"Merlin's beard, this is delicious!" exclaimed Lupin over his chicken a little too loudly, getting a warning look from the Muggle he was sitting so closely to. The chicken was baked in wine and exceptionally tender. All his jumbled thoughts were chased away. "I've never had anything this good since—_years-_"

"Better not let Molly hear you say that," said Tonks with a wink, but his mouth was too full to reply. She dug into her tiny steak.

They ate quietly, leaning forward, almost close enough for their foreheads to touch over the tiny, circular table. Tonks looked up slowly after she finished her meal and found herself so close to his face; his hair over his forehead, ginger and gray; his nose, of normal and noble proportion; and his eyes, always hiding something. She might have been a little too tempted to kiss him if his mouth wasn't occupied with the _coq au vin._ She looked out the window to avoid thinking about it.

The waning of the evening, even in this busy little restaurant, made her feel quiet and romantic inside. She twirled the orchid between her fingers, smelling the sea.

"I'm sorry I can't pay for this," said Remus mournfully as he wiped his mouth.

"I said I'd pay, Remus, it's no trouble." Tonks still felt serene.

"I'm sorry that it's a bit unorthodox-"

"Shut it," she said calmly. "Look at my hair and tell me if you think I give a Leprechaun's crap about what is orthodox or not."

"Better not let Molly hear you say that," said Remus said, chuckling quietly. All they needed was one sour look from a waiter that suggested irritation at their lingering over an available table to vacate it. Tonks paid for the meal in Muggle bills ("I find them in the street sometimes") and the couple found themselves outside on a chilly evening under the streetlamps.

"Would—that is—I mean to say, would you like to go for a walk?" he asked, offering his arm to her as the bustle of the restaurant faded into quieter night, despite the traffic.

"Sure," said Tonks, taking it with pleasure. She loved the feeling of being close to him. Something about him radiated the sense of an instinctive protector, and she couldn't deny feeling safer with him, as if they were alone in a bubble of joy while the rest of the world stewed with fear. They walked into a public garden. She watched his breath make small clouds against the night. Somehow, the stiffness of Lupin's proffered arm melted, and their arms folded down to hold hands instead.

They walked for a time in silence before they reached Tonks' apartment. Lupin walked with her to the outside and let go of her hand to face her. He stuffed both of his hands into his pockets and looked away as she stood before him. She grinned because he looked so young—his usual, serious demeanor was made into that of a young lad looking as though he was trying to hide an ill-disguised lie from showing on his face.

"Thanks," he said finally, as he brought his eyes back to hers. "For a great day."

"Don't mention it," said Tonks. "It wasn't torture for me either."

His head was bowed and he shuffled his feet a little closer to her.

"I was wondering—no—I mean—I'm sorry," he said, looking imploringly at her to decipher his request.

"I didn't catch any of that, sorry," said Tonks. She was afraid grinning might scare him off, or make him think she was mocking him or something. She settled for a sympathetic look.

"I want to—Merlin's pants, Tonks," he said breathlessly.

Suddenly, before she could tell what was happening, his head lowered and swiftly caught her mouth. She felt his soft lips touching hers gently at first, then a little harder; her eyes were closed as she felt his arms around her. Her own hands found the back of his neck, touching it lightly and letting his hair run through her fingers. It felt wild, for some reason. He was kissing with an insistent need now, something she didn't anticipate-

"I'm sorry," he said, breaking away and letting his arms relax from around her. "I apologize for that, Nymphadora-"

"Tonks," she corrected quietly.

"I'm sorry, I mean Tonks," he amended quickly. "It was inappropriate."

"_What?_" asked Tonks incredulously. "Inappropriate? You're on my doorstep after a lovely dinner. On Valentine's Day. When would it be more appropriate? During your grandmum's funeral?"

"Tonks—I do not want-" he started, seemingly unable to express himself.

"What? Me?" she asked quietly, looking down. A blissful balloon was hissing out air inside of her. She didn't want to see his eyes when the ax fell.

"No!" he said quickly, and loud enough that a few Muggles turned to look at the odd pair as they passed by on the street. "I didn't mean that. I meant that it's just not right. It's inappropriate between a—a person like you—and a person like me."

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Tonks, affronted. "If this has got something to do with my half-blood—but I'd never suspected you of-"

"Of course it doesn't have anything to with your parents," said Remus, waving away her accusations. She knew it was true by the look in his face.

"Is it my hair?" she asked, a hand indignantly on her hip. "I can change that. Easily. Or my face, or-"

"Nymphadora, you are one of the most beautiful women I know," he said with frustration. "It's got nothing to do with that."

"Well, tell me," she said. "What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing is wrong with you," he sighed finally, after a moment's hesitation. "It's me that's the problem."

"You?" she asked in disbelief. "Nothing's wrong with _you_."

"How can you say that?" he asked, laughing with slight insanity. "Have you seen my robes? Have you noticed that I live on my best friend's wealth day after day, that I have no paying occupation? If I even had a Gringotts vault, there wouldn't be a Knut's ghost in it. I'm quite useless."

"Rubbish!" Tonks cried. "You're busy with the Order! I'm sure once everything quiets down again you'll find a job all right-"

"You don't _understand_," said Remus through his teeth. "Not only that I'm poor—Maybe you've noticed that I only missed going to school with your mother by a few years? I'm far too old-"

"Rubbish again!" countered Tonks. " 'Old!' You can't be more than ten years older than me-"

"Eleven, actually," he muttered under his breath.

"So what?" asked Tonks. "Like there are laws against that! If I don't care, you shouldn't."

"But I do care," replied Lupin. "You are—amazing, sometimes. You don't deserve…this. I have nothing to offer you. I mean, can't you see my face? I'm a broken man."

"I see a whole man in front of me," said Tonks slowly. She lifted her hands to his face to smooth it with the back of her hand. "With a whole heart."

The wind blew the hair out of his face for a moment. He seemed entranced by her touch for a moment, then grabbed her wrist gently and pushed her away.

"Please—can we leave what happened tonight—just for tonight?" He was pleading now. "I don't want this to become anything. I can't."

"Oh," said Tonks. She wasn't quick enough to hide her blush, but something was crumbling inside of her. "I'm sorry—why didn't you just say that in the first place?"

"I don't know," he said, looking toward the apartment building. "I'm not especially articulate tonight, for whatever reason."

"No, that's fine. Great, actually—I mean, what was _I _thinking, that's the question," she said as she mustered a fake grin. "I mean, we're both in the Order, it would be really weird. Now that I think about it, it's kind of a bad idea."

"Right," said Remus. She couldn't tell if he was sad or not. "So I want to apologize again-"

"No," said Tonks, waving him away. "If you can't get a nice bit of snogging in on Valentine's Day, when can you? Forget it, Remus." She turned to go inside to the building and looked back at him. "Good night."

"Good night, Tonks," he sighed at her, thrusting his hands in his pockets again and vanishing with whip of snow and wind.

* * *

A/N: There is a little deviation from canon here—Tonks and Remus are actually 13 years apart, but the basis for that is the date that Tonks joined the Aurors. I kind of imagined her fooling around with odd jobs before becoming serious and deciding to fight Dark wizards, instead of purposefully joining directly after Hogwarts like Harry might.

A/N2: Thanks to you kind reviewers: Yayforgredandforge, mrscribble, tonks-lupin524, Cricce, ILoveDoctorMcDreamy, recklesslyconfined, sharon and Flo M Nimo. And double thanks for double reviews: sarah. And the winner for triple reviews is Ashes2Dreams. Thanks you guys, I appreciate all your comments!


	8. Chapter 8

Tonks never made it inside her apartment. As she turned the corner into the vacated corridor, she Disapparated to Ottery St. Catchpole.

_Knock, knock_. The Burrow was cheerfully puffing white smoke out of its crooked chimney against the dark sky. She could hear a little rustling—she turned quickly to for its source, but it was just a few garden gnomes.

"Who is it?" asked a familiar female voice warily.

"Wotcher! It's Tonks, Auror, changes her pink hair and nose for your daughter Ginny on holidays, member of the Order."

"Tonks, dear!" cried Molly Weasley as she opened the door. The motherly face was a welcome one to Tonks. "Oh no—something horrible hasn't happened, has it?"

"No, no. Nothing like that. I was just—just wondering if I could have a small chat?" asked Tonks, feeling increasingly ridiculous. But Mrs. Weasley's gentle pat on her arm and immediate dispatching of the tea kettle with a lazy flick of the wand made her feel better.

"Of course, dear," she said, ushering the young woman inside. Tonks stood in the Burrow, which she'd only briefly visited before. It was warm, lit by a cozy fire and an old-fashioned stove oven and furnace. "Is something on your mind?" All of the Weasley children were out of school or in school. The quiet seemed almost unnatural, punctuated only the low hum of the radio and the light clinking of pots and pans that washed themselves.

"Yeah," said Tonks meekly. A tea cup hovered over to a spot in front of her face as Molly sat down beside her. "You know Remus Lupin, right?"

"Naturally. He was the children's favorite teacher at Hogwarts. Pity he was only there a year, but I suppose it can't be helped." Tonks took the tea cup and begin to sip meditatively.

"It's just that lately," she said, pausing. "Lately I've been having lots of—you know—feelings and things for him." She took an overlarge sip of hot tea, slightly burning her tongue.

"For Remus Lupin?" asked Molly Weasley. She was clearly surprised. She looked around, then back at Tonks. "As in, _romantic _feelings?"

Tonks could only nod in reply.

"Goodness, what a strange match, I'd never have imagined, dear!" Molly replied. She looked at Tonks searchingly. "Remus Lupin? _Really_?"

"Yes," said Tonks, looking down. She traced a circle with her finger on the wooden tabletop. "I've been, you know, fancying him for awhile. Today's Valentine's, you know?"

"Oh yes," agreed Molly with a joyful nod. She looked fondly at a bouquet of cheap-looking and half-wilted flowers that had a tag attached to them. Tonks could only guess that they were from her husband as Molly flicked her wand and the wilted ones perked up slightly.

"We went out for dinner, and it was a great day," said Tonks. "Then he took me home—and he kissed me."

"He _kissed_ you?" asked Molly. She was leaning on an elbow now, raptly paying attention. "Are you quite certain?"

"It was a difficult thing to miss, Molly!" Tonks laughed.

"What did you say?" she asked unblinkingly.

"I don't remember," said Tonks, scratching her pink head. "Oh wait. I didn't say anything, but _he _said he was sorry."

"_Sorry_?" repeated Molly, as though scandalized. "Whatever does that mean?"

"He felt guilty about the kiss, I guess," said Tonks sadly. She swirled the rest of the tea in the cup. "He said a lot of stuff—about how he wasn't good enough or something ridiculous—then that he didn't want anything to come out of it."

Mrs. Weasley didn't seem to know what to make of it, so she conjured some more tea.

"He doesn't seem like the type to go around kissing nice, respectable girls and not mean anything by it," said Mrs. Weasley, frowning. "He doesn't seem like the type to kiss girls, actually."

"Everyone deserves love, don't they?" asked Tonks with conviction. "I just can't see what his problem is."

"Well, surely you know about him?" said Molly, frowning.

"About Remus?" asked Tonks. "Do you mean—I mean, he told me that he has a condition, but I figured it wasn't any of my business."

"Oh—you _don't _know then—well," said Molly, clearly bursting to tell the secret, but restrained herself. "I suppose I oughtn't gossip."

"I want to respect his privacy," said Tonks with a nod.

"That's all very well, dear," said Molly uneasily. "But—be careful. It's not normal for his kind to _date_ women-"

"His _kind_?" asked Tonks, frowning. "You're talking like he's a centaur or something."

"I won't say anything else, then," said Molly, pursing her lips. "Just—there may be a good reason for him to hesitate."

* * *

"Oy, where've you been?" asked Sirius crankily. He was sitting with his boots up on the coffee table, staring into the fire.

"I was out with Tonks." As soon as he said it, Sirius looked at his face and saw a very unusual, dreamy, faraway look on his friend's face.

"_Tonks?_" asked Sirius, sitting up immediately. "What happened, Remus?"

"I kissed her," he said quietly.

"_Tonks?_" repeated Sirius, disbelieving. "But she's-"

"I know. Too young. 'Out of my league,' as the expression says."

"No, I was going to say…" Sirius said. "I guess I didn't think she was your type, that's all. _Nymphadora Tonks_? Can't keep her hair a normal color for five minutes? My cousin?"

"I had forgotten she's your family," said Remus, quickly, looking apologetically at Sirius. "I didn't mean anything by kissing her, it just sort of happened-"

But Sirius had a wide grin on his face.

"That's _brilliant,_ Moony," he said, the first real smile Remus had seen from in a long time. "You've finally got yourself a girl!"

"No—no. It's not like that. It can't be like that," said Remus quickly. The smile faded from Sirius' face.

"And why the bloody hell not?"

"Be realistic," said Remus, leaning back with a harder expression. "You know what I am."

"Yeah, I do. Doesn't she?"

"No."

"You should tell her then," said Sirius, examining his fingernails.

"Why?"

"So she can tell you herself that you're being an idiot. You're not going to believe me when I tell you that she won't care either way."

"An idiot?" asked Remus with an bemused expression, rubbing his temple.

"You think she's going to run away from you," said Sirius coolly, then laughed. "You do, don't you? Honestly, mate, can you imagine her running away from anything? She's an Auror, for Merlin's sake. A little wolf isn't going to scare her off."

"A little wolf?" asked Remus, raising his eyebrows. "Even now, you don't realize the danger-"

"You're safe here," interrupted Sirius. "You can always change in the second bedroom. You have the Shrieking Shack, your basement at your house in the south."

"It's not about that," said Remus. He leaned forward, his elbows on this knees and looking intensely into the fire. "No matter what I do, what precautions I could take, it would never be enough to keep her safe if she is always near me."

"Always near you? Merlin, Remus, are you thinking about marrying her or something?"

The men exchanged looks and Sirius' eyes widened.

"You_ are _thinking about it! You never tell me anything, mate, your first girl-"

"Nothing will come of it," said Remus dismissively. "It is a worthless dream. Something for another man's life." He sat back again, running his hand through his hair. "The temptation is there—easily, I can see myself living with her. But I would surely ruin her. She would be struck by poverty, which she has never felt before. She would quickly be disillusioned with a man that is old enough to be her father, but before any of this I am still a mindless, destructive animal. I may even kill her before she can come to her senses about marrying me. As incidents a year and a half ago can attest, accidents happen."

"You're mental," said Sirius, shaking his head. "She won't be poor, she's an Auror, they make good gold. You're not old enough to be her father, either, so don't take _that_ line. And you'd never let anything happen to her. Don't be thick. Ask her out."

"No. It has to be like this."

"You know what?" asked Sirius, his voice raising with a slight edge of anger. "I've been there, mate. A plan all worked out, thought I knew it all. I thought it couldn't fail if I sacrificed myself, as long as my friends were safe. They didn't want it and I didn't want it, deep down. You know what happened. Did you forget?"

"I'll never forget," replied Remus bitingly.

"Yeah. Neither will I. Everything went to hell—you, James, Lily, me and Harry." Upon having these names cross his lips, he softened slightly. "Look, mate. You're the only brother I have left. If—if you can be happy, in times like these…just do it, Remus."

Remus looked at him for forgiveness.

"I understand what you're saying," he said after a moment. "I appreciate it all, don't think that I don't. But she is too—in this instance, my reason is ruling over the temptation."

Sirius looked at him, and the bitterness on his face melted away, replaced with pity.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N**: Hello, thank you for reading this far! I've got to take a break for a few days because I'm moving to Montreal for college (don't worry, I'm taking my computer with me!). I've got a few more chapters up my sleeve before then, though, but there will be a delay before more come out, what with the long drive and the time it will take to get the internet set up, etc. But have no fear, more is on the way.

So without further adieu, Chapter Nine...

* * *

_June _

Lupin sat by Tonks' bedside at St. Mungo's.

The spinning in his head from turbulent emotions—fear, intense grief, and fatigue—subsided as he watched her sleeping face. The tranquility that she was experiencing permeated his mind, and he was filled with a calm he had not felt for days.

He didn't like leaving her bedside for more than minutes at a time, even if he was hungry. Mad-Eye Moody had stopped in to see her a few times (he surmised the ex-Auror was rather protective of her) after his own bleeding had stopped. Kingsley and other Order members had popped in as well, but most were attending to their own grief and the growing responsibilities they had now that Voldemort was exposed. The only people to stop in regularly, almost everyday, were her parents.

Remus observed them and felt a jolt of shock when he saw Mrs. Tonks' resemblance to Bellatrix Lestrange. However, the kind-eyed woman that knelt at the bed of her daughter could never have been the same person as the Death Eater murderess. The couple were somewhat of an oddity, he couldn't help notice—Mrs. Tonks wore black robes hemmed with dark lace, not unlike Sirius' mother, while Mr. Tonks wore Muggle-style overcoats. Tonks' mother seemed to have a ghostly delicacy from her pureblood heritage, moving with a grace that suggested nobility and pride; Tonks' father had a large belly that reminded Remus of Father Christmas. Although his weight didn't restrict his movements, he had an inexplicable clumsiness coupled with insuppressible optimism that didn't make it difficult to see where Tonks derived most of her character. When they visited, Remus usually excused himself immediately before they could inquire who he was or why they found him so often beside Tonks' sickbed.

The parents were gone already for the day. Remus sat in a chair near her bed, holding her hand with guilty pleasure. His thumb caressed her open palm for the thousandth time.

"Mmm," she moaned quietly. He released her hand immediately as she stirred awake. The other arm was slung to her chest, still healing. Her leg that had disappeared was regrowing slowly—the knee was almost done today, he could see from the lump in the sheets. "Am I dead? Sirius?"

"It's me, Remus," he said gently. "And you're very much alive, Nymphadora."

"Dammit," she murmured, her eyes still closed. "_Tonks._ It's Tonks."

"Tonks," repeated Remus. "How do you feel?"

He hadn't properly talked to her since February. All of their conversations had been half-baked versions of the intimate friendship they had shared. They seemed to avoid close contact, but he would seek her out and she him if they went too long without seeing each other. He felt the deadened facts of it kill him slightly.

"Moody," she replied with a grin, her eyes still closed. She wiggled her leg, the one that was only half there, just like Mad-Eye's pegless leg. Remus laughed. But her smiled faded. "But Sirius…he is dead, isn't he?"

He grew quiet for a moment as the eyebrows over her closed lids raised in anticipation.

"Yes," said Remus gravely. "He is dead. Bellatrix Lestrange killed him, and she almost did you as well."

"I saw him fall," she sighed. "I was upside down, on my back—but it looked like he was flying into a veil in the sky. It was a beautiful way to go." She pulled her shoulder up, adjusting her back. Remus immediately obliged and fixed her pillow for her. "Did they all get out okay? Harry and the others?"

"Yes, they'll all be fine, thank God."

"And ours? The Order?"

"Mad-Eye got a nasty whack of something to the head, but he's fine. He's been in everyday to see you."

"Good of him." She opened her eyes now, resembling a spiky-haired kitten opening for them for the first time. "Sirius is dead?" she asked again, looking into Remus' face.

"Sirius is dead," he said again. She turned away from him and looked up at the ceiling. He could see a thread-thin tear needling down her temple, so much different from her trembling, terror-induced sobbing. And felt closer to her in this moment than he had in so long—she reminded him of Dumbledore. It was the way her eyes looked contemplating death; it was not horror or fear, but an undying sadness of parting. He resisted the urge to take her hand again.

"There will be a small memorial service," he said quietly. "In two days."

"What about Harry?" asked Tonks, turning back again to him. "Doesn't he have to be in school?"

"Yes. He will not be there," agreed Lupin.

"Doesn't seem fair," she sad with a frown.

"Sirius' death is a secret," said Lupin firmly. "And must remain so for a time. Imagine explaining what a host of Aurors, respected wizards and Harry Potter are doing mourning at the grave of a notorious, wanted Death Eater. Not to mention the discovery of Kingsley's and Dumbledore's cover-up of his whereabouts this year. It is trouble beyond anything a secret Order needs right now when Voldemort has come out of hiding."

Tonks nodded with a sigh. Kingsley would no doubt be sacked if it were discovered that he was deliberately not doing his job. And she would be as well for helping him.

"You look awful," she said suddenly, looking into his tired eyes. They were red and everything in his face seemed to be weighed down by something.

"That's Hufflepuff honesty for you," he said with a smile, rubbing his right eye. "Only a true friend would say something so bluntly."

"No, Remus, I can see something's wrong, it's all over your face," said Tonks with a slight urgency. "Is—someone else dead? Did Voldemort get the prophecy? What happened?"

"Nothing like that," he said quickly. "It's just—well—they brought you out of that chamber on a gurney."

"So?"

"Tonks, everyone thought you were going to die," he said. His eyes seemed to grow darker and she could clearly see that he was troubled. "You weren't breathing and you didn't have a pulse. Someone even put a sheet over your face at some point. I watched the whole thing—luckily, the Healer discovered you under a curse. One of the Darkest. I heard the name at some point from the Healer—it is called _Mortis Fallax_. It replicates the effects of death for several days; the intention is that the cursed will be buried as if dead, only to wake in their grave sometime later, helpless, to die a true death of suffocation."

"And Bellatrix Lestrange—this is what she tried to do to me?" asked Tonks quietly. "_On top of chopping off my leg_?"

"One might conclude that it was her intention," said Lupin stiffly. "However, she has been in Azkaban for over a decade. Advances have been made since then and the recently discovered detection of this spell, through the use of dragon's blood, has made it nearly useless and ultimately obsolete."

"Lucky me," said Tonks after a moment. "Dragon's blood? That'll be Dumbledore's…I suppose I have him to thank that I'm not writhing in a grave right now."

Lupin gave a shudder as he looked at her, as if imagining it.

"What's up?" she asked, trying to sit up slightly.

Lupin was quiet for a moment.

"I haven't talked to you like this for months."

"I noticed."

"I have—a lot of things I want to say to you." He fidgeted slightly, something she'd never seen him do. He had obviously prepared something that seemed to have flown out the window.

"Hm," she said, wiggling her stump leg. "I guess I'm not going anywhere." He gave a faint smile but did not laugh.

"Sirius was a brilliant man," said Lupin sorrowfully. "In school he was top-notch, he and Harry's father. When we made plans to cause mischief, he was very thorough in making sure all of our loose ends were closed. He was so careful that he even designed a map, a map that we created together, a map capable of tracking every soul inside Hogwarts School, so that we would always know when we were in danger and could cover our backs. He was reckless, yes, but often carefully reckless—if that makes any coherent sense."

"Maybe not. But go on all the same." Tonks shrugged and his small smile grew wider.

"Did you know why Sirius was accused of being a Death Eater?"

"Of course," replied Tonks. "Not only did he help kill Harry's parents, but about a dozen Muggles for chuckles. Or at least that's what they told us at Auror's Headquarters. I never got the full details of his innocence, I've mostly been trusting the Order's judgment."

"He had laid out a dangerous scheme that he thought would protect Lily and James. He was their Secret Keeper under the Fidelius Charm," he explained. "But he was afraid for them. He had planned to go into hiding, but he was afraid he would be found, tortured or forced to take Veritaserum. It didn't matter to him what he was subjected to, but keeping the Potters safe was his priority. Instead, he made Peter Pettigrew the Secret Keeper. He fully expected that Peter would go well into hiding (it was a special talent of his) and that Voldemort and the Death Eaters would come after Sirius and perhaps kill him instead. Sirius might have even found that funny, to die tricking Voldemort."

"Carefully reckless," said Tonks sadly. "But it didn't work out as planned."

"Exactly," said Lupin. "And he reminded me of that in February."

"In February?"

"On Valentine's Day," said Lupin, nodding. He bent his head over his knees, holding it in his hands. "I've been—overly cautious. And I have sacrificed my happiness for it, and possibly yours."

"What do you mean?"

"I do stand by what I said," he nodded slowly. "I am old and poor and not good enough for someone like you. But I would not care half so much if it weren't for-" he paused, biting his lip. "-but for the fact that…"

"Your condition?" she asked helpfully.

"No," he said quickly. "You must know now. I can't keep it from you any longer. It was irresponsible in the first place." He swiftly swept the hair out of his face nervously. "Nymphadora, I am a werewolf."

"_What?_" she asked, flabbergasted. She completely missed that he had called her by her hated first name. She looked away, then looked back at him. "You?"

"Yes," he said as calmly as possible. He watched her face, waiting for a look of fear or disgust, but she only looked confused.

"Really?" she asked, blinking.

"Yes."

"Since—when?" The hair on her head turned tomato red and grew to the length of her shoulders.

"I was bitten at about two years of age," he said remorsefully.

"Since you were _two_?" asked Tonks, tugging a lock of hair uncertainly. "Merlin's pants, Remus…I can't even imagine."

Remus watched her silently. He leant back in the chair.

"Is it painful?" she asked finally. "When you transform?"

"Yes," he replied, his finger tracing an unseen scar under his sleeve. "Immensely."

"I'm so sorry," she murmured, looking at him with a look of such extreme pathos. The only time he could remember that intense of a look was on another redheaded girl many years ago-

"It is nowhere near your fault," he said calmly.

"Does everyone know?" she asked.

"Now that you know, I think that's everyone in the Order," said Lupin. "I resigned teaching because my secret had been revealed by Severus Snape to the school, although I can't imagine how it wouldn't have gotten out anyway. An inquiry was made and I was summoned to the Ministry to be officially registered as a werewolf. Although Dumbledore, as an act of charity, had given me a significantly higher salary than most of the other faculty members (not unnoticed by Severus Snape, of course), most of my savings were forfeit to fines for late registration. It is no longer a secret in the wizarding society."

"Unfair," said Tonks, frowning.

"It doesn't matter," said Lupin, waving away her statement. "All of this, of course, contributes to my reservations about being…that is, someone more than a colleague or friend to you."

"What?" asked Tonks, surprised. "Why?"

"Well, that is if the revelation itself did not disgust you beyond caring for me," he said somewhat callously toward himself, "it still remains that I am a Dark creature, a dangerous entity."

Tonks's hair burst into a sunny yellow sphere that reminded Lupin of Elphias Doge as she outright laughed at this.

"_You?_" she said when she caught her breath. "A dangerous entity? Ha! You can't even beat Ron Weasley at wizard's chess!"

"I suppose it is easy to laugh," he said somberly, "when we are sitting in the daytime, a week and a half away from the full moon, and you have never seen me when I am transformed."

He laughter died as her hair went back to a shoulder-length pink.

"I'm sorry," she apologized at once. "I know it must be awful for you."

"It isn't me that I am concerned for," said Lupin, shifting in his chair. "I am thinking about you. I haven't been able to think about anything but you for several days." She hid her blush quickly.

"Poor you," she said with short laugh.

"Sirius' death has—made me reconsider," he said, scratching the back of his head. "I believe anything beyond friendship between us is a hazardous mistake. Yet," he sighed, looking at her hopefully, "to not—to not attempt something more is, perhaps, a waste of life and time we have to hold those we care for close to us. However, I haven't forgotten that it is also your life and your decision."

"Well, _yes_," she said emphatically, taking his hand. "Yes, of course. I want you."

With surprising strength, she had pulled him forward, kissing him intently. He was clearly taken aback by her power.

"What—truly?" he asked, astonished, breaking away and touching his lips. "Even though-"

"Yes, you poor, old wolf," she teased. "Even though." She kissed him again, kneading her fingers through his graying and light brown hair. Then she got a familiar tingling on the back of her neck.

"Merlin's pants, it's Mad-Eye," she said, breaking away from him as she saw Mad-Eye's figure through the window of her private room, coming to open the door. She quickly pushed Lupin back into his chair and smoothed her comforter, wiping her mouth. Lupin had a wide and sheepish grin on his face, as though they were teenagers almost caught snogging by a parent.

"Awake!" said Mad-Eye cheerfully but gruffly. "And vigilant. That's excellent."

"Very vigilant, Alastor," agreed Lupin while the corners of Tonks' mouth twitched. "I'll be off. I will come in to see you tomorrow," he said to Tonks, a warm look on his face.

"Don't be late," she said, with a tiny wink to him that she had hoped Mad-Eye would miss. Of course he didn't. He watched Lupin's retreating figure with suspicion.

"He's here 'round the clock," Moody said warily, as he took Lupin's vacated seat. "How's the arm and leg?"

"They don't hurt," replied Tonks. "In the case of the leg, half of it doesn't exist yet."

"Y'know you're quite lucky to have such good treatment," he said grumpily. "_My _leg was-"

"Eaten clean off by a Hairy MacBoon that escaped from the fourth floor at the Ministry," completed Tonks.

"_Is that what they're saying_?" hissed Mad-Eye angrily at the world. Tonks laughed.

"Just yanking your wand, Mad-Eye. Everyone knows you lost your leg to the Death Eater Wilkes before you got him."

"Oh," he said, an apparent attempt at an apology. "At any rate, what are you doing messing around with that Lupin? You know he's dangerous, don't you?"

"He's not dangerous," Tonks shot back. "Give me a break, Mad-Eye, he's never hurt a soul."

"I don't like it," he said. "It's not just his fangs. Werewolves are funny in the head."

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Tonks indignantly.

"They don't keep jobs. They don't have families. If Lupin weren't in the Order, I'd say they're all vagrants. Touched in the head."

"_You're_ touched in the head," Tonks retorted childishly. "Except for Dumbledore, he's the sanest person I know! Sometimes I think he's saner than Dumbledore." She bit her lip and glared at him. "They probably can't keep jobs because people you like spread nonsense like that around."

"Constant vigilance, Tonks," Moody said testily. "You're an employed, single woman. You're desirable."

"Aw, thanks Mad-Eye," said Tonks sarcastically.

"It makes you a target for any lowlife on the street," said Moody. "Now, I'm not saying Lupin is a lowlife or that he's targeting you. I like him. He's in the Order. It doesn't change his base nature. Vigilance. If he tries anything funny—let me know and I'll take care of him." As he cracked his knuckles threateningly to no one, Tonks was caught between irritation at his presumption and affection for his protective nature of her.

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A/N: So what do you think? 


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: The last chapter was too short; I'm uploading another one today. Enjoy.

* * *

"What can we say about him?" asked Kingsley Shacklebolt, reading from a prepared speech. They stood outside of Remus' cottage in the south. The quiet, little house had never seen so many visitors in all of its existence. They stood around a shiny, black granite slate with white letters that had been embedded into the ground. "This was a man who loved beyond his life. He loved his friends; he loved his godson. If there is a place we go on to after this life, if it is good, surely he is there. He gave generously when asked and was loyal beyond all expectation. He could ask for no nobler an end. Goodbye to you, Sirius Black."

The sun began to peak over the edge of the soft, green copse that concealed the cottage. The approaching dawn lit everyone's faces and made the small tears everywhere sparkle slightly. It also reminded everyone that the cover of night was lifting; it was a workday like any other, and the sorrow they shared this morning together could not be shared with anyone else, even with each other, once they were in their public lives. It felt wrong to Tonks, but as the sun came up, she could see Arthur and Kingsley, an arm around the shoulders of the other; whenever she saw them interact at work, it was always cold indifference. It would be that way today once this group dispersed.

After a few moments of somber toasts hosted by Lupin, the witches and wizards begin to Disapparate one by one.

She had intended to spend a few moments alone with Remus as he cleared the empty goblets, but was surprised by the last lingerer besides themselves.

"Remus," Dumbledore said solemnly. Although he usually attracted almost all of the attention whenever Tonks had seen him, he had hung back and somehow made himself unnoticeable throughout the service. "Thank you for offering your home and this land for Sirius. It is a splendid place to rest."

Tonks looked at the black slate.

_Here lies Sirius Black, the last of his line but a father nonetheless._

"It was the least I could do for my last best friend," he said nodded solemnly. "And it is good place to rest. Perhaps I will rest here one day as well."

"If only we could all choose our ends," sighed Dumbledore. He turned his piercing blue eyes onto Lupin. "The time has finally come for you to begin the mission I requested so many months ago."

Lupin looked sideways at Tonks quickly.

"I'm ever your servant, Albus," Remus replied humbly.

"And how I appreciate it," he nodded in return. "If you would kindly prepare to leave within three days—it must be attended to with haste."

"I understand," said Remus. "I will leave tomorrow night."

"Then we say good bye for the present," replied the headmaster. He gave a respectful nod, but it was coupled with a lingering look of gentleness for the werewolf. "Good luck, Remus, and use caution."

"Thank you, Albus," he murmured, taking the empty goblets into the house.

"Where is he going, Professor Dumbledore?" asked Tonks as Lupin's back retreated.

"He is needed where he has influence," replied Dumbledore thoughtfully. "Where his voice will be heard. He will tell our ideals and try to gain loyalty in a place that Voldemort will surely try the same. I believe you need to return quickly to the Ministry, Nymphadora? It is now more important than ever to obey the time."

"Yes, sir," she said quietly. "I am due in an hour. But I want to spend some time with Remus—I mean, I won't get the chance if he's leaving soon."

Dumbledore's eyes seemed to penetrate her and know all her thoughts about Remus; all the sweet moments they had shared for the past two days in the hospital and the thoughts of the future. She couldn't even manage to hide her blush.

"There is always time for what is most important, I believe," he said with a small, fatherly smile. "Goodbye, Tonks." At this, he disappeared with a pop, just as a thick ray of sunlight began to pour in the space where he was.

Tonks looked one last time at the grave and the footprints on the ground. She waved her wand and the dirt rearranged, looking as though no one had been there. Then she walked into the cottage.

She hadn't given a lot of thought to what Lupin's original living space had been like. Most of the furniture was covered by white sheets, but what was visible was Spartan yet clean. His kitchen was well-organized and his few possessions were lined up neatly against the walls or in closets. The threadbare carpets, faded wallpaper and depressed wood showed the age, but the light smell of lemons and the shine of the countertops showed the care put into it.

She watched as he waved his wand and the goblets humbly floated into the sink and began to wash themselves with old dish soap. He put his wand back into the pocket of his old robes and rubbed his face pensively.

Without a word, Tonks felt herself sink into him; she walked over and his arms immediately came around her petite frame and his lips to her forehead. She sighed contentedly against him, rubbing his chest and neck gently. Her actions were more of a comfort than any sort of flirtation. She wasn't in the mood for romance.

"I like your house," she muttered as his lips rested lightly in her ear.

"Thank you," he replied, kissing her neck with utmost pain and care.

"You're leaving tomorrow," sighed Tonks as she twined their fingers together. "Will I see you again soon?"

"Tonight is the full moon, and you can't be near me," he said heavily. "Tomorrow night—will you come here?"

"Of course," she agreed readily, closing her eyes. "But after tomorrow…"

"I do not know," he said, kissing her eyebrows and cheeks in slow turns. The tenderness in his actions made shivers go up and down Tonks' arms. "It may be weeks. It may be months."

"Months?" she asked, horrorstruck. The goblets began to dry themselves.

"Perhaps. If it goes well," he added.

"I will miss you very much," she said, feeling childish. She looked down at the floor, but she felt his strong hands touching her chin, to raise her eyes to his.

"And I will write to you," he said as he looked at her directly. "As often as I can."

"Appreciate it," she said weakly. Their lips met softly and briefly before Tonks turned away. "I have to go to the Ministry now—I will see you tomorrow night."

He kissed her temple in reply and squeezed her hand. Neither of them had lost the sorrow of Sirius' death from their faces as Tonks strode slowly outside to Disapparate into the dawn.

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A/N: Thanks to all you great reviewers.

To ILoveDoctorMcDreamy: The French was just ordering the chicken and the waiter's curiosity about why Lupin could speak French. I put it in because I imagined Lupin would do it to subconsciously seem more cultured or something to Tonks. I don't know. If I were Tonks, I would think it's kind of pretentious.


	11. Chapter 11

Tonks' head swam. Although her leg had fully regrown, her arm was still in a sling. The Auror's Headquarters had been swarming with Ministry officials—someone had taken her Harpies action figures and most of the frivolous things in her cubicle. She was slightly angry as she saw that her chair was across the room and many stacks of paperwork were rearranged, although compared to other areas being investigated she was relatively left unscathed. Kingsley's desk had actually been completely ransacked as officials were reorganizing to expand the department rapidly.

Fudge was in the process of resigning. Voldemort was back. There was only one option: to do something. It did not seem to matter to anyone what that something would be, how effective it would be or what consequences might come from it. But something had to be done.

Tonks was mostly ignored by her superiors and was given one assignment for the day—paper organization. The bureaucracy frustrated her. _Voldemort's on the loose, and the Ministry is using their best Dark wizard hunters to sort paper?_ But she finished within an hour and decided to go home, leaving Kingsley with a request that he notify her immediately if she could be of any real help.

She reclined on her davenport, waving her wand and folding the clothes that were strewn carelessly everywhere as she imagined Remus might if he were here. She knew he was probably at home, preparing to transform. How did he do it? Did he let himself roam free in the secluded woods? Was there a room he locked himself in? She bit her lip thinking of experiencing such a painful thing alone. She wanted to be with him, but she knew there was no way without hurting herself or destroying the trust he had in her. A thought occurred to her—could she become an Animagus, as Sirius had done? She made a note to ask Remus about it.

"'Dora?" called a familiar voice from behind her front door. "Are you here?"

"Wotcher, Dad?" asked Tonks with surprise, falling off of the couch. She scrambled to look through the peephole and saw her father's balding head and friendly face. "Here's your security test—what comes after 'And any time you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain—don't carry the world upon your shoulders'?"

"Er," he mumbled, humming under his breath. "_Doo di doo ditty—_oh yes. 'For you know that it's a fool who plays it cool, by making his world a little colder?'"

"Correct," replied Tonks as she opened the door. Her father stepped in, knocking over the bin, which he righted with a flick of his wand.

"That's not a good question," Ted Tonks said quickly as he closed the door again. "It should be something personal—like what was my favorite toy, or likewise."

"Who else in the Wizarding world knows the Beatles?" asked Tonks with a small chuckle. "Want some tea?"

"Love some," he replied, plopping down heavily onto the couch. He looked around as Tonks retreated into the kitchen. "Got a telly yet?"

"No," she called back.

"Now you do," he said, and promptly transfigured a giant pile of laundry into a television set. He was able to flick channels with a funny movement of his wrist. Tonks came back in with the tea and gave a pointed sigh.

"I don't want one of those Muggle boxes in my flat, Dad," Tonks said, kicking it lightly and handing him a cup. He took it, unconsciously spilling some of the liquid down his shirt.

"It's right useful," he said defensively. "The BBC here—you know what's going on all across the globe. Even wizards can't get info as quick as Muggles."

As her father sat back and watched a report about a bombing in the Middle East, Tonks smiled in her tea. Her father was a Muggle-born wizard, and rarer yet, a Muggle-born wizard who had chosen to make his living in the Muggle world. Ted Tonks had somehow gotten into a Muggle university after Hogwarts, received a degree in computers, and worked at a specialty store in Surrey. Nymphadora wondered what would happen if Arthur Weasley ever found this out about her father.

"That's enough," said Ted Tonks, waving his wand. The television transfigured itself back into a pile of Tonks' clothing. "You're like your mother-"

"Not likely," snorted Tonks.

"-in the sense that neither of you can appreciate good television. I just wanted an update, and if she caught me watching again—anyway." He set his teacup on the floor with the takeout boxes. "Tell me about this Lupin fellow, the one that sat by your sickbed in St. Mungo's."

"Remus?" asked Tonks. She felt a funny turn in her stomach and a small grin came onto her face. She hadn't been anticipating telling her parents about her boyfriend. She didn't even want to say the word boyfriend—it didn't quite say what their relationship was, exactly. She wasn't sure herself. "He's a great bloke."

"He must be more than just a bloke," her father pressed. Tonks looked up at him sheepishly and was relieved to find he was smiling. "Always sitting in that chair, clasping your hand—only getting up for water every 12 hours or so." The father and daughter pair laughed. "We could only get in to see you alone when we stood behind him and cleared our throats loud enough to wake the whole ward."

Tonks couldn't do much more except smile and blush, feeling foolish but happy.

"Is he your sweetheart?" asked her father in a teasing voice. Tonks had never been an outward romantic, a flirt, or anything of the sort in her whole history and the use of a word like "sweetheart," especially by father, was highly embarrassing.

"He's a special guy," Tonks decided to say, taking the teacups into the kitchen to avoid her father's probing looks.

"_Special guy_?" roared Ted Tonks, laughing. "I haven't seen you turn this red since you tried to blend in with that scarlet wallpaper at Aunt Penelope's when you were ten." Tonks' dishes clattered into the sink, and by the sound of it, she had accidentally dropped one. "Come off it, Dora! There's no shame in having a man in your life!"

"A man in my life?" asked Tonks incredulously, switching gears. "Oh, Mum put you up to this, didn't she? She wants to know if I'm planning on marrying and having your eighteen grandkids! She wants to know if I'm settling down, isn't she?"

"Hm," said Ted, tapping his lips with his fingers quizzically and looking at a corner of the ceiling. "I don't know what you mean, Dora. I can't imagine your mother ever taking a line like that."

"Ha!" exclaimed Tonks. "Wouldn't she like me to just get married, quit my job and stay at home all day!"

"That's not fair," said Ted patiently. "Your mother doesn't see things the same as you do. You're committed to the Order, and your mother and I understand that. But everyday gets more dangerous, and frankly we're rather nervous after your accident."

"I'm just clumsy," muttered Tonks.

"Being cursed and nearly killed by a Dark witch doesn't count as clumsy," replied Ted. "Times are dark, Dora. Even I can't say that I don't want to see you safe, at home—either with us, or with…you know."

"A man?" asked Tonks pointedly. "A husband to take care of me?"

"You know this isn't about—feminine power or whatever," sighed Ted. "This is reality. Women will be targeted before men, because the enemy will see them as weaker. You're in greater danger, Dora. I'm not gonna deny that you staying here alone makes me awfully nervous."

"Dad," said Tonks exasperatedly, "I'm an Auror. I'm trained, I've fought Dark wizards and Death Eaters—and I've won."

"I know," replied Ted. "But it's all beside the point. Tell me about Lupin."

"Remus is a great guy," replied Tonks. "He's smart, he knows tons about Defensive magic. He's quieter…and wiser. He doesn't exactly have a fortune but he's sensible."

"He doesn't sound like anything I'd imagined for you," replied Ted airily. "I figured you'd end up with one of the Weird Sisters—the drummer, maybe."

"Very funny," said Tonks sarcastically. "I really like Remus. Dumbledore is sending him on a mission tomorrow."

"Really? To do what? Unless it's a secret."

"I don't think it's a secret," said Tonks, scratching her neck. "Remus is going to speak to the werewolves about joining our cause against You-Know-Who."

"Speak to the werewolves?" asked Ted. "Why would Dumbledore have him do that? I thought werewolves in general distrust wizards or something."

"Well, you know," said Tonks quietly. "Remus is a werewolf himself."

"Lupin? A werewolf?" asked Ted Tonks, frowning for the first time. "Are you serious, Dora?"

"Quite. He told me so, and Mad-Eye confirmed it. I just found out a couple of days ago."

"And—you're seeing him?" he asked, disconcerted.

"Yes," replied Tonks, with a hint of irritation. "I'm seeing him. I like him a lot. Is there an issue with that?"

"Just," he said, tapping his fingers against the davenport, "that you should know what you're getting into, Dora. That's all. Your mother and I don't want you to be alone, but we don't want you in new danger."

"He's not dangerous."

"I don't see how a bloodthirsty wolf isn't dangerous."

"Well, seeing as how he's human most of the time, it's not the case," she said testily. "He's an extremely cautious person. He'd never put me in danger." She got up and crossed over to the kitchen. She looked out the window where she had sent a Patronus with Remus on Halloween. The full moon shone through, even with all the light pollution in the city. "He's alone right now, probably curled up on the floor of a cell somewhere, or hunting alone in a forest—he made sure I was nowhere near him tonight."

Even Tonks couldn't mask the tender bitterness in her voice. Her father looked at her pityingly.

"I'm certainly not the one to judge unusual couples," her father said finally. "If he really cares about you as much as you seem to about him—I'm not going to complain. Your mother might need awhile to take it in, though."

The next evening, Tonks Apparated to the doorstep of Remus' cottage. It was still quite light out. She knocked on the open door, but there was no answer. Frowning, she drew her wand and walked inside cautiously.

"_Hominem revelio_."

There was no one in the cottage. She walked slowly past the kitchen. Unusual for a wizard's house, it actually was as small as it looked on the outside. It looked as though there was a kitchen, a bath and a small library on the ground floor and a staircase that led to a basement.

She went into the library and found it was more of a parlor that seemed to prefer books to wallpaper—there was a couch, an armchair, and a shabby old piano in the corner by a small, stone fireplace. Books on shelves covered almost every inch of available wall, but there was a window that looked out into the garden and Sirius' grave. If she sat at just the right angle on the couch, it was a very pleasant, calm view; and sure enough, resting on the arm of the couch in that spot was a short stack of books.

She scanned the books on the shelves. There was not a single romance or mystery novel, a common sight in her own house. They were all old and seemed to be nonfiction. Many had faded, gilded French titles and cracked bindings. _"La magie defénsif contre les Arts Sinistres_" was a popular series and took up an entire three shelves. Werewolves were also a popular subject, although they were shunted into difficult-to-reach places where it looked as though no one had touched them for awhile. Vampires, hags, and magical creatures each were subjects of several volumes; faded periodicals like _Transfiguration Today _were stacked neatly on several shelves.

Tonks examined a cramped corner behind the armchair where the werewolf books sat. _Hairy Snout, Human Heart; Wanderings with Werewolves; Wolfsbane and Other Developments; The Wolf's Guide to Human Society; _and _How to Cure a Werewolf _sat quietly and inconspicuously.

Tonks grabbed _How to Cure a Werewolf_, knocking a few others off of the shelf accidentally,and sat down on the leathery old couch. The smudges of skin oil on the cover and pages suggested it was a book that had been perused many, many times. She opened to the first page.

_Forgive me, reader, but there is no way to cure a werewolf_, read the first line.

"What a bloody waste of parchment," muttered Tonks, but she read on.

_What can be cured is our perception of the afflicted. While we see the unresolved conflicts of those around us with frustration, our instinct is to change them. However, when we find flaws with others, it is at times necessary to examine ourselves. _

_There are ways to help werewolves endure the ancient Dark magic to which they are subject, listed below:_

_Mistletoe and Wolfsbane, and How to Use Them Kindly…………8_

_The Wolfsbane Potion Project……………………………………….32_

_Humane Apprehension on the Full Moon…………………………56_

_Safe Haven: How to Build and Charm an Enclosure……………79_

_Care after the Reversion……………………………………………105_

_The Homorphus Charm……………………………………………124_

_If You or Someone You Love is Bitten…………………………...126_

Tonks flipped to the chapter about the Homorphus Charm. It was the shortest chapter at only one and a half pages, a good chunk of which was a picture of a wizard pinning down a wolf, a wand pointed at its head.

_The author mentions this charm only as a reference. It should never be attempted by anyone except for trained Ministry wizards from the Werewolf Capture Unit. _

_The Homorphus Charm—spoken, "Homorpha exluna"—is a spell that, when performed properly, forces an early reversion upon a transformed werewolf. Normally, a werewolf will remain in the animal state for the full course of the night of the full moon, but under the Homorphus Charm, the werewolf will transform back into a human for the remainder of the night. He or she will remain in the human state for the next month, but must once again become a wolf at the next full moon (unless, of course, another Homorphus Charm is performed). _

_However, performing this complex spell is extremely dangerous and never recommended, unless the spell caster is being attacked by a werewolf and all other options have been exhausted. To effectively perform it, the wolf must be subdued to a certain degree for accuracy. The incantation "Homorpha exluna," must be spoken and the caster must focus not on his or her present danger, but on the ordinary human form of the werewolf. If successful, the wolf's hair, snout, and tail will retreat quickly and with less pain than an ordinary reversion. The human consciousness of the werewolf still returns only at dawn, but the imminent danger of the wolf is removed and rendered harmless._

_Theory about this charm is speculative at best. Since it has rarely been performed to the benefit of both the werewolf and the spell caster (attempts have often resulted in mauling or the death of the wolf),_ _a limited amount of information is available. Almost all of the few success have been performed by family of the werewolf, usually either a sibling or a parent. Magical theoreticians have constructed a scenario that dictates that the Homorphus Charm can only be used by someone with genuine affection for the werewolf, although this theory was baffled by the recent, celebrated success of Gilderoy Lockheart's reversion of the Wagga Wagga Werewolf (for further reading, see _Wanderings with Werewolves_, Whizz Hardbooks)._

"Nymphadora!" said Remus with warm surprise as he caught sight of her from the hallway. Tonks' stomach felt fluttery as she saw him standing there. "I didn't expect you so soon."

He had discarded his normal, patchy robes for Muggle workclothes, including a white T-shirt that was soaked with his sweat and revealing muscled arms that were usually modestly hidden under his looser cloaks. His hair clung to his wet face, and he had an armload of firewood. She wasn't sure she'd ever seen anyone so attractive in her life.

"Sorry," she squeaked, slightly speechless at the sight of him. He realized that she was staring at his attire and was instantly embarrassed.

"Forgive me, I'll be right back," he muttered quickly. He slipped past the library and she could hear his quick steps down the stairs. She closed the book on her lap and looked out the window, grinning to herself. He was back almost instantly, donning his usual robes, although these seemed somewhat newer and sleeker. His face was clean and dry. "I'm sorry you had to see that-"

"Nah, it wasn't any pain on the eyes," she said mischievously, grinning at him. His cheeks colored slightly with a pleased smile. However, the smile fell when he saw the book on her lap.

"Light reading?" he asked conversationally, although there was something in his tone that seemed wrong to Tonks. Not angry, but something negative. She looked at _How to Cure a Werewolf_. She felt ashamed

"I—I just saw it on the shelf," she mumbled, but he gave her a forgiving half-smile as he sat next to her on the couch and took the book into his hands, touching it lightly.

"My father's," replied Lupin emotionlessly. "These are all my father's books."

"Really?" asked Tonks, surprised. "Your father was really into Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"I should say so," said Lupin. "He was a professor of the subject."

"Like you!"

"Somewhat. I would say he had much greater success," replied Lupin. "He taught for many years. After his Hogwarts education, he left to see the world and to learn as much as possible. He was a strange man—fascinated, yet repulsed by his subject. He spent time among the vampires and even befriended a banshee or two. He began teaching at Durmstrang Institute, but moved on quickly. For many, many years he was a celebrated professor at Beauxbatons Academy. These-" (he pointed to the "_La magie défensif_" series) "-were written by him. My mother was one of the waiting witches in the palace, a servant to the Headmistress. They were married and traveled to Britain. He had already corresponded often with Professor Dumbledore by then, and they were good friends. My father taught only for a few years at Hogwarts before resigning."

"Why's that?" Tonks asked.

"It was—it is a nasty bit of history," said Lupin hesitantly. "Very unpleasant. And I had much hoped that tonight would be for us, an infinitely more agreeable subject, if you don't mind- "

"No, not at all," said Tonks, snuggling up to him, knocking her book to the floor. Both of them ignored it. "Infinitely more agreeable. Well said."

"Are you hungry?" he asked, getting out his wand. "I know it's still early."

"Hm, a little," she admitted. He waved his wand and a cake began to hover in front of their faces. "I usually don't eat in here, but since it's rather comfortable, I think I can afford a change of pace."

"And I could go for dessert first," said Tonks. She reached with her index finger and scooped a tiny bit of chocolate icing off of the top. She sucked it gently before remarking, "delicious!"

The cake split itself into six pieces as a host of small plates and forks floated into the room. As Tonks took one for herself and Remus, the food and dishes floated back into the kitchen and the piano struck up a light, romantic aria.

Tonks kicked off her shoes and swung her legs over Remus' so that she was stretched out over him on the couch. He rested his plate on her knees amiably.

"What were you doing with all that firewood?" asked Tonks, licking her fork.

"I was storing it in the cellar," replied Lupin, chewing thoughtfully. "It will stay cool and dry in there. It may be months before I return and it would be nice to be able to make a fire here if I return in the winter."

"I can solve all your problems," said Tonks, pulling out her wand and twisting around to look at the fireplace. "Watch. _Incendio!_" The fire lit up, crackling merrily. "Did you realize you're a wizard, Remus?"

"Very funny," he said, a smile sitting on his lips. "But even a magically-induced conflagration will only burn for short amount of time. A fuel has to sustain it, and I don't have a furnace here."

"You can come and stay at my place, then," said Tonks, leaning forward to look at him squarely. "Who'd want to be here all alone in the winter, anyway?"

"You'd have me in your apartment?" he asked, surprised. His eyes traveled to the book she had dropped on the floor.

"If you don't mind the mess," she said with a shrug.

"Not really," he said with a smile, knocking his plate to the floor as she had done.

Soon her knees were up against her chest as she was kissing him forcefully. He seemed to return her passion, gripping her legs and pressing a hand against her back. _This is a dream come true!_ she thought happily. _Remus Lupin is my man!_ She hoped they wouldn't stop, that he would forget all about this silly Order mission business. But he slowed down, gently and tenderly pulling on her lips.

"I'm sorry," he said breathlessly, releasing her from his tight grip.

"Quit apologizing," said Tonks, kissing him again a few quick times. "You are good at this. Keep going, if you like."

"I don't know what to think," he said with a genuine laugh. The piano tinkled lightly in the background. "Would you believe I'd never have thought this possible?"

"Well, men, women, and animals have all been figuring it out for thousands of years," said Tonks, with chiming laughter.

"No!" he exclaimed, tugging on her pink hair. "I mean—us. I never thought anyone would—with me—I still can't quite believe it."

"If you start talking nonsense about yourself again, I'm going to make sure your tongue is thoroughly occupied." She pressed her mouth his, kissing him long and deeply, sighing inside his mouth. He shivered as she pressed her forehead against his. They were still for a moment before he looked up into her eyes.

"I don't want to sound odd, or forward, or—something. But I have to say this. I think about you all the time." He took her hand and pressed her palm softly with his thumb. "When I am here alone, when I read, even when I am transformed. I saw your face." He touched her cheek gently. "I dream…" but he trailed off.

"Dream what?" she asked quietly.

"About the future," he replied, equally quietly. The piano subsided and the little cottage was still. "After this war. If we make it out…what could be…all the possibilities."

"Possibilities for us?" she asked hopefully.

"Yes," he said slowly. "I know it's soon, this is still new-"

"I could see myself married," said Tonks quickly, looking up into his eyes. "To you."

"Truly?" he asked, and she had never seen so much merry light in his eyes before. "Married?"

"Unless you're one of those blokes who can't take commitment," said Tonks brusquely. "If you're just going to ditch me in a week then you can just go home."

"No," he said with a laugh, and clasped her to him more tightly. "I am home."

He loosened his hold on her as she put her legs back on the floor, still holding him. She then felt the full weight of his tiredness as she pulled him towards her. His head was resting on her chest as she fluffed his hair absently and adoringly.

"I love you, you know?" she said quietly. She felt him take a deep breath and exhale slowly.

"I know." He closed his eyes. "And I can't think of any time in my life that I've felt happier than right now."


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: **Thanks you guys for all your really nice comments.

To Alix33: Thanks for all your questions...sorry about the mechanical errors; I do proofread before I go to post, but sometimes I miss stuff. Eyebrow question: I dunno, I guess forest green? Money conversion: Neither, I wasn't really thinking about it. I use the HP lexicon online to do my fact-checking (which I'm pretty thorough about...if I go out of canon, it's usually deliberately and to suit my own purposes).

To Lavi R: Yeah, I agree, rewrites can get tedious. I've seen some where they work really well, other times they add nothing. Thanks for your comments.

To RecklessyConfined, Ashes2Dreams, Legallyblonde79, Flo M Nimo, ILoveDoctorMcDreamy and YouLoveMeCosImCrazy: Thank you for your continuing support! You guys make MY day.

* * *

_He's gone_.

Tonks woke up and realized she was going to be late for work if she didn't get out of bed that second and hurry up. She licked her lips, wondering if she could taste his last kiss there before they said good night.

_Stop it. You have Auror duties and Order responsibilities. He has his. _

She crammed a scone in her mouth and ran out the door of her apartment as she was whipping on a cloak over her work robes, Apparating directly into the Atrium, running as fast as she could. Everyone around her was running as well; was _everyone_ late as well?

She took the elevator down; it was clogged with harried people. There were so many conversations going on that Tonks couldn't keep track of what was being said. She tripped out of the elevator and skidded to her workplace.

"Tonks!" she heard Savage's voice as she appeared scrambling into the Auror's Headquarters. Most of the Aurors were gone—the air had a sense of something wrong. Savage was holding a stapler. "Grab this Portkey, it's the last, quickly." It glowed blue as Tonks whipped her hand out to touch it.

The unpleasant sensation of Portkey travel brought the two Aurors to a dismally gray beach. An ominous ringing sang in her ears.

The winds were howling; uprooted trees were everywhere, floating in the water and washed up on shore. Bodies were lying in rows—but they were not covered. The buildings nearby were all destroyed.

The Dark Mark lingered in the sky, sending chills down her spine when lightening flashed behind it.

"Merlin, what's happened?" gasped Tonks.

"A bloody great storm," replied Savage, quickly taking into account the sobering scene. They began to jog over to Dawlish, who was checking the pulses of the bodies.

"Where were you?" he asked immediately.

"I went back to send the memos to the Obliviators and to the Minister," replied Savage. "Tonks came back with my Portkey."

"You-Know-Who is back, Tonks," said Dawlish sternly. "You can't get away with nonsense anymore. Be on time and grow up."

Tonks was rarely infuriated, but Dawlish had already moved on.

"Savage, go get the Muggles ready for Memory Reversal," ordered Dawlish. "Tonks, assist Shacklebolt."

Tonks immediately left, not wanting to risk saying something she would regret.

"Kingsley!" she shouted to the tall, black Auror down the beach. He looked and greeted her with a respectful nod. "I'm here to help."

"Can you handle some Dementors?" asked Kingsley, levitating an unconscious body. "_Liberacorpus_. They're in the woods. There's Williamson, I'm coming with you, just a moment."

Another Auror came rushing over to the bodies to protect them. Kingsley and Tonks set off jogging into the woods. As soon as they crossed from the pebbly beach into the thorny thicket, a chill and a darkness set upon them that seemed to deaden Tonks' soul. The sun seemed overly blotted out by the trees. It was like wandering through a dark forest during a foggy, snowless winter night.

"They sense us and our power. They're hiding. Patronuses," said Kingsley, his breath clouding. "On three. We'll drive them out. One, two, three—_Expecto Patronum!_"

Tonks thought of the night before as a lynx and a dolphin made of silver vapor trailed out of their wands. They wound gracefully like ice skaters through the trees. Cold shrieks came from behind a few of the trees; dark cloaks moved swiftly between them. The dolphin swam high, leaping out of the canopy, then barreling down into a huddling group of Dementors in a dive as intense as the Wronski Feint. The lynx chased them out, jumping from log to log. The mist began to clear up and the sun peaked through the leaves.

"Brilliant," he said, commending her. "They were probably waiting for us to leave the Muggles alone for their chance to feed."

"Why were the Dementors here?"

"I suppose they're no longer under Ministry control," said Kingsley gravely. "Dumbledore suspected it was only a matter of time."

"Should we tell Dawlish?"

"Not yet. We should tell the Order and then decide what to do. No sense shooting our mouths off if it loses us our jobs—or more importantly, our usefulness to the Order."

A twig snapped, then several.

"Wait," said Tonks as Kingsley turned back to go to the beach again. "Someone's here."

Neither said anything--the air was silent.

"They wouldn't be stupid enough to stick around," whispered Kingsley. "Not the Death Eaters. They'd run."

Then Tonks saw it—a pearl-white and gray body, raggedly clothed, walking awkwardly. Its face was one of the scariest she'd ever seen. It was neither male nor female, but its eyes were pure white with no expression. Whatever it was, it was clearly not alive and not properly dead, either.

"I don't believe it," muttered Kingsley, his jaw dropping.

"You don't want to believe it," replied Tonks. "Me neither. Inferi. They're using Inferi."

"_Ferrum Inflammari_."

The body's feet parted from the ground and suddenly flew at them. Tonks screamed, but Kingsley brandished his wand; a long, molten cord funneled out of the end, a whip. Kingsley brought it over his head and jerked his arm in such a way that the whip encircled the torso of the zombie, torturing it and throwing it to the ground.

Three more pale corpses walked slowly toward them.

"_Ferrum Inflammari,_" repeated Tonks, holding out her wand. A long-handled, double headed ax of cursed fire appeared in her hands, her wand acting as a handle. The corpses started running at her.

The first, his white eyes rolling, launched his arm at her. She brought the ax down, cleaving him diagonally from his shoulder to his hip. He fell down in two smoking pieces. The smell was almost more than she could bear. Kingsley whipped the second, bringing it to its knees. Tonks took the last, bashing it several times at the neck before its head would sever.

"Merlin," murmured Tonks as the ax shrunk in her hand. "I thought—I thought they were only legend."

"This is out of our hands," said Kingsley. "We have to notify Dumbledore as soon as we're back at the Ministry."

"Are the Muggles all right?" asked Tonks finally.

"Yes. As soon as we've got the area secured, the Healers are coming in."

As they emerged, Kingsley reported to Dawlish and Tonks relieved Williamson of watching over the unconscious Muggles. Williamson went over to the road to help the Aurors there secure it.

"Secure!"

"We're all secure, Dawlish!"

The Obliviators had begun to Apparate in, but Proudfoot waved them away from the Muggles.

"Let the Healers see to them first! They're wounded, you could addle their brains if you do it in the wrong circumstances!"

"We know how to do our jobs, thank you very much!" an Obliviator snapped.

A group of St. Mungo's Healers, huddled around a stretcher bed as a large Portkey, were next to appear. Tonks turned her back on them and watched the forest. She wondered vacantly if Remus was running through a forest right now. How was he going to find the werewolves? The Inferi kept flashing in front of her eyes. Were they fresh victims, or ones dug up villainously by Voldemort?

"I'm going back to the Ministry to send an owl to Dumbledore. Notify me immediately if anything changes," said Kingsley, suddenly behind her. And suddenly he was gone again.

Tonks watched the forest, as vigilant as Moody could possibly have dreamed.

"You, there, can you help me?" a Healer asked Tonks.

"Sure."

"Hold her head," said the witch, cradling the wrist of the Muggle woman who had blood crusted on her face. Tonks knelt, supporting the woman's body while the Healer examined her.

"Nasty," she remarked quietly as she administered a lumpy ointment to the Muggle's forehead. "What happened here?"

"Not sure," replied Tonks, her eyes darting back to the wood. "Looks like a Death Eater attack to me."

The Healer dropped her ointment before gasping and picking it back up again.

"I was graduating Hogwarts when he was defeated the first time," whispered the Healer as the Muggle began to moan slightly. The Healer slipped a vial of sunny, yellow liquid out of her cloak and dripped it down into the mouth of her patient. "Do you—do you think we have a chance to get him again?"

"Not soon," said Tonks. "But there's always a chance."

"Oh," said Healer meekly. "Well, this one's ready for her memory to be wiped."

Tonks waved an Obliviator over as Kingsley burst onto the scene.

"Dawlish! Robards!" he bellowed, drawing the attention of everyone conscious on the beach. "There's been another attack—a bridge in Brockdale was destroyed."

"Kingsley—really-" Dawlish sputtered, but he could only muster indignation at the disturbance.

"Proudfoot, Tonks, Savage!" called Robards, taking charge. "Go to Brockdale. Dawlish, Williamson, Carter—stay here in the West Country."

Tonks said a short farewell to the Healer witch, who looked nervous as Tonks left her side. Tonks closed her eyes, focusing on the river in Brockdale.

She felt the darkness and the feeling of being squished through a straw.

The scenery was also torn apart like a painting knifed, but here, the action was only beginning. There was Rufus Scrimgeour, the Head of the Aurors, dueling fiercely with two masked figures in black cloaks. Moody was skulking by the bank, hexing Death Eaters from behind.

"Get the people in the water!" Shacklebolt shouted to Proudfoot and Tonks. Both nodded quickly as Shacklebolt and Robards charged at two Death Eaters, who were just ending Cruciatus Curses on Muggles as they saw the Aurors approaching.

Shacklebolt seemed to let out four Disarming spells at once, but only hitting one target, while Robards took to simply trying to blast the Death Eaters away. Tonks and Proudfoot ran past them and jumped from rock to rock, making their way down the steep bank to the river.

When Tonks finally found a solid space to stand (she had tripped a few times and scraped her knees), she whipped out her wand and screamed "_ACCIO CAR!"_ The sheer force of her spell lifted one of the dozen cars out of the water, and sent it zooming towards her. Tonks realized her mistake before Proudfoot intervened.

"_Wingardium Leviosa!"_ he cried, and the car stopped, as though caught by an invisible baseball mitt. He levitated it toward a quiet piece of shore before glaring at the younger Auror. "Watch it, Tonks!"

They continued down, but they were pursued by Robards and another Death Eater who was shouting curses at the pair trying to save Muggles. One of the curses hit Tonks' ankle and she was sent sprawling down the remainder of the bank. When she stood up, she was dizzy and had a nasty gash down cheek, but otherwise unharmed.

"_Reducto!_" The Death Eater who had triumphantly watched Tonks' fall was blasted off the rocks by Robards' spell, cannonballing into the water at a dangerous speed. The three Aurors watched him float away.

"I think that was Rabastan Lestrange," called Proudfoot to Robards as Tonks levitated a few more cars onto the shore.

"_Accio Muggles!_" Tonks cried. A few who were not strapped in by safety belts and who had conveniently left their car windows open in the late June heat came flying out of their vehicles, piling on top of Tonks. Once she worked herself out from under them, her Levitating Charms joined Robards' _Locomotor Autos_. In time, all the cars were piled on the side of the road, while there was no telling who was alive or not.

"They've Disapparated!" she heard Scrimgeour's voice from above.

"It's clear," asserted Kingsley.

"Can we bring this lot back to the West Country?" asked Proudfoot, motioning to the pile of Muggles after Shacklebolt and Scrimgeour had managed to get down to the shore. "Keep all the Muggles safe together-"

"No, how would you explain how they ended up there?" replied Savage. "It'd be a nightmare for the Obliviators, trying to figure out which belonged where."

"It's safer, though," said Kingsley. The Aurors looked to Scrimgeour for a decision. The grizzly, limping Head Auror squinted for a moment in concentration.

"Bring them. _Portus,_" he said, turning a Volkswagen into a Portkey. "Four minutes. You, girl, make sure all the Muggles are on; Shacklebolt, Savage, Proudfoot, secure the area and round up Muggle witnesses for Memory reversal; Robards, come back with me to the Ministry."

No one argued as Tonks started placing limp hands onto the hubcaps and bumpers of the car, nervous that there Dementors or Inferi about and slightly miffed that Scrimgeour didn't know her name, even though she'd been a qualified Auror for over a year now.

Tonks and fourteen Muggles were transported back to the beach.

"HALT!" came Dawlish's shout as the car crashed onto the beach, its windows smashed. The Muggles were flown everywhere, mostly on their backs. A few Healers and Obliviators screamed, ducking for cover.

"It's me, Dawlish!" Tonks shouted, leaping to her feet. "These Muggles need help!"

The Healers hurried over to the Muggles who were strewn about the beach.

"What happened to them?" asked one of the Healers, examining a young boy. "Was it magic or not?"

"The accident was magic, but I think their injuries aren't." Tonks shouted at another Healer dragging them into a row. "Oy, keep them away from the others so we can tell which are from Brockdale. It'll help with Memory Reversal and to figure out where they're supposed to be."

"This one's dead," a voice came from a little ways away. Tonks felt her knees weaken slightly—she didn't want to hear any more.

"Tonks, report," said Dawlish, catching his breath as he jogged up to her.

"A bridge—it was a bridge that was destroyed. The Muggles in their cars went into the river. At least four Death Eaters," Tonks added and Dawlish drew his breath sharply. "We overpowered them. Scrimgeour and Robards went back to the Ministry. Kingsley, Proudfoot and Savage are securing the bridge and getting the Muggle witnesses ready for memory reversal. Can you tell the Obliviators?"

"_My house! _What the hell happened to my house?" a man screamed from the other side of the beach, surveying a mess of rubble on the ground. Nobody answered, but the Memory Charm that hit him subsequently calmed him down.

"We might be going beyond our means here," an Obliviator stated to Dawlish.

"No matter," Dawlish replied. "You—and you" (he motioned to a second from the Squad) "can go with Tonks here. Side-Along Apparition."

"Let's go," said Tonks, hooking her arms into the Obliviators'.

The darkness consumed them, then subsided as they touched ground in Brockdale.

"_Tonks!_" Savage's voice called. He was clearly struggling with Body-Bind curses on a small but increasing crowd of Muggles. Proudfoot mirrored his struggled on the opposite side of the broken bridge.

"There!" Tonks said, pointing the crowd out unnecessarily to the Obliviators. "Go help them."

Most of the Muggles were watching in wonder as Kingsley walked upon the water, watching for danger.

Tonks Apparated again to the bottom of the shore. Kingsley came over to her.

"Most of the Muggles are safe," she said immediately. "At least one's dead.

"Dumbledore's been notified. No sign of Dementors or Inferi here. Not enough of us—get the other side of the bridge, we're vulnerable." He looked up at the Obliviators and stepped back onto the shore, watching as they modified memories.

Tonks, panting, climbed up the shore again. Sweat glistened on her forehead and pink locks stuck messily to her temples. She stood on the broken edge of the bridge. _Constant vigilance_.

"Little pixie!" a shrill voice called behind her. Tonks whipped around, her wand still held at the ready.

A masked woman stood before her at the edge of the broken bridge. A Death Eater; Tonks looked left and right, but the other Aurors were looking out; they would not expect an enemy to appear directly in the center of their protective circle. At least it was not Bellatrix Lestrange--but it was another female Death Eater.

"What do YOU want?" shouted Tonks loudly, but she couldn't be heard over the wind and the roar of the river.

"You Aurors are so clever, saving the Muggles," giggled the woman. "And you! Cutting up my lovely Inferi! Since you're the little one, we'll take you hostage." Before Tonks could stop her, she flew forward, grabbing Tonks' arm and dragging her into Disapparition. Tonks looked out helplessly just as Kingsley had turned around to make eye contact with her. She disappeared into darkness.

But unlike a usual Apparition, there was no light for a long time. It was deathly dark, and Tonks was frightened out of her mind.

"Wakey, wakey, pixie," the woman's cackle could be heard. Tonks was groggy, but was aware she was sitting on a hard, stone floor. The side of her face throbbed violently, as though she'd been struck by a Bludger.

"Who's there?" Tonks called, surprised that her voice came out as a croak. "Where am I?"

"You're in _my_ hands, little ickle Auror," said the Death Eater. Tonks opened her eyes and looked up at an intimidating figure in a black cloak and twisted, serpentine mask.

"Why?" asked Tonks, but the witch cackled.

"How would Dumbledore refuse us now?" she asked, apparently talking to herself now. "We have one of his from the Order! He'll do anything for _love!_"

"What do you want with Dumbledore?" asked Tonks fiercely.

"Who's Dumbledore?" asked a scared voice. Tonks looked into the darkness and could barely make out a figure, curled up in corner.

"Shuddup, you," the Death Eater snapped. "Anyway—I'll be back—don't move." The Death Eater stalked out of the room, shutting what Tonks couldn't see, but surmised by its sound, was a heavy door.

There was Tonks' and the stranger's breathing.

"Hello?" asked a meek, young male's voice. "Who's there?"

"My name's Tonks," Tonks replied. "What's your name?"

"Sam Belton," he said quietly.

"Are you a Muggle, Sam?" asked Tonks quickly. She crawled over to where he was and felt around in the dark for him.

"I—I don't know, I don't even know what that means."

"Do you know magic?"

"Magic?" he asked uncertainly. Tonks felt her hand knock against something living. She placed her hand on his shoulder. "Like card tricks?"

"No," she replied. "How did you get here?"

"That creepy woman—it was so weird—we were by the river, on the bank, and she came out of nowhere. She grabbed my arm and everything went black. I guess I must have fainted or something, because I woke up and she was walking with me to this—I guess it's a castle!"

"A castle?" asked Tonks, but she heard the door open again, creaking, then shut again. She instantly fell silent, but no one was there.

Suddenly she felt a thin, masculine hand over her mouth, gripping her jaws and cheeks. A thin lock hair that felt wet brushed against her cheek as she squealed.

"You're in the dungeon of a temporary fortress in the Forbidden Forest," she heard Severus Snape's voice hiss in her ear. "Alecto Carrow will come back in here with food. Don't eat it. Her wand is in her lower left pocket; yours on the right breast pocket. Take the Muggle and go down the corridor, up the stairs, through the right passage and out the back. Then Apparate or go north to Hogwarts. Say nothing about this to the Death Eaters and wait until she has seen me outside."

Tonks nodded and the hands released her instantly, leaving her face feeling slightly bruised and greasy. She watched as the door opened again, the light from outside shimmering slightly, as though passing through water. Auror training taught her to see a Disillusionment Charm when she saw one. The door closed again, but opened a moment later again.

"What was that?" asked the Muggle boy, but Tonks ignored him.

"Alecto," came Snape's voice from behind the cloaked Dark witch at the door. "I am returning to the Manor. Do not disappoint the Dark Lord."

"There is no fear for _me_, Snape," Alecto hissed back.

"Believe me, I do not waste the energy." Snape's footsteps retreated and the witch approached.

"You'll be hungry," Alecto Carrow said, placing a plate and a goblet down on the ground. It was a Cauldron Cake and a pint of pumpkin juice. "You're in here for quite awhile—at least until Dumbledore decides what to do with you. Maybe the Dark Lord will deal with you himself—or just give you to _us_."

She hissed the last 's' sound in delight. How could Tonks attack her while she was sitting on the floor? She'd be cursed before she could stand up. Although it was dark, Tonks saw Sam reach for the goblet. She grabbed his wrist, knocking the juice over accidentally.

"One at a time, dearies," cackled the Carrow witch. She squatted down to right the cup, and Tonks saw her chance. She launched herself at Alecto, who screeched indignantly as she fell onto her back.

"_You little-_" but Tonks had forced a hand over her mouth, using the other to get the wand out of her pocket. She fished, working against Carrow's thrashing, until she found an unfamiliar wand. Holding it, she dug for hers, pummeling the Death Eater as she went along, finally grasping her own wand.

"_Petrificus Totalus_," Tonks recited. Alecto, scrambling to her knees, fell back onto her back and froze, an indignant expression on her face. Tonks stood up and ran to the door to see if anyone was nearby. The corridor was empty.

"Sam! Are you coming, or not?" Tonks asked irritably.

"Yeah, yeah," he said, quickly getting to his feet and stumbling out with her.

"Hold my hand," Tonks ordered. She could see him properly now—he was older than she had thought, maybe a year or two older than Harry, Ron and Hermione. He did as instructed as Tonks ran down the corridor to the stairs. She led the way, wand out, turning in all directions, looking for other Death Eaters, but the fortress, as Snape had called it, seemed deserted. "Come on."

The boy kept up diligently as she led him out the back.

They emerged to much more light, which was saying something for the Forbidden Forest. She could properly see the fortress now; it was a relic, the likes of which she had seen in one of her history books. It was probably as old as Hogwarts, built for ancient wars against goblins or centaurs. It was small, about an eighth of the size of the School. The rocks were well-eroded and ivy grew everywhere, but it had a foreboding sense of darkness that Tonks was eager to be rid of.

"_Point me,_" she said, placing her wand upon her flat palm. It spun for a moment before giving a heading away from the fortress.

"Whoa!" exclaimed Sam as she yanked on his arm once more.

"No time," said Tonks. "We have to run." She still held his hand as they jogged—if trouble was spotted, she wanted to be able to Apparate instantly, but she wanted to go to Hogwarts first as Snape had said. Her head was still spinning. How could she have imagined all this when she woke up this morning?

"Puh—Pardon—me," wheezed the boy after awhile. They had been running for several minutes. Tonks was no athlete and she was breathing heavily as well. "Could we—break?"

"Sure," she said, panting. They took a moment to catch their breaths. Tonks took his hand again, but he pulled it back.

"Wait," he said. "I want to know what's going on and I'm not running anymore until I find out."

"Even if you're in grave danger?" asked Tonks, frowning. "We'll be safe soon, but we have to keep going."

"No," said Sam. "I want to know."

"Okay," said Tonks warily. "Let's walk. I don't want to stay in one place for long. Take my hand again." As Sam Belton took her left hand, she held her wand erect with her right, spinning around and looking for danger.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"I'm Tonks."

"Just—Tonks? Like just Cher or Prince?"

"No. My first name is Nymphadora, but no one calls me that. And you're Sam and you're a Muggle."

"What the hell is a Muggle?" asked Same miserably. "I've been called that four times today, twice by you and twice by that hag."

"A Muggle is a person-" Tonks whipped around, checking from behind and the sides. "-with no ability to do magic. Someone like you."

"I'm great at doing the coin trick," he said. He reached behind Tonks ear with his free hand, producing a coin and grinning. Tonks couldn't help but smile back. "See? I knew you were all right."

"Not the same thing," said Tonks, smirking. She knew she was breaking a few laws when she pointed her wand to the coin and commanded, "_Geminio_."

A small stream of duplicated coins dropped into her open hand, to the astonishment of Sam.

"_Evanesco_," she whispered, and they vanished again. His eyes grew wider. "Real magic exists, Sam. You have to start believing that or you're going to die very soon."

"Die?" he whispered back. Tonks took his hand again and they began walking more briskly.

"If they find us again, they might kill us. I don't know."

"Why, what'd I do? What'd you do?" he asked fearfully.

"Nothing," said Tonks honestly. "You have to know, in this world, there are two types of people who use magic—the type that uses it for good, and the type that uses it for evil."

"But why are they going to kill us?"

"Some of the evil ones want your kind—Muggles—dead."

"And you want the Muggles alive?"

"Very much so." Tonks led them into a job again.

"Did that woman want to kill me?"

"Probably."

The youth paled at this pronouncement but did not lose his footing, as Tonks had done several times and nearly tripped.

"Where are we going?" he asked.

"To school," Tonks said simply, hoping they encountered nothing more unpleasant than Death Eaters in the woods. The pair traveled silently and swiftly. After twenty minutes or so, they emerged, panting, at the edge of the wood where there was much more sunlight.

The very welcome sight of a looming castle and a nearby pumpkin patch came into view.

"HAGRID!" Tonks bellowed with exhaustion, tripping up the steps to his cabin. "Hagrid, it's me, it's Tonks! Help!"

Hagrid opened the door and looked down upon Tonks and the Muggle.

"Holy shit," muttered the boy, taking in the half-giant's size.

"Don' need none of that kinda talk," said Hagrid reprovingly.

"Sorry," the boy replied, looking down, scared.

"Hagrid, there are Death Eaters in the woods. They're shacking up in an old fortress. They kidnapped me and this Muggle, but we escaped. Please, will you let us into the castle to see Dumbledore?"

"O' course!" Hagrid said immediately. They kept jogging, Fang at their heels, up to the door of the great castle Tonks hadn't seen for three years.

"Why are we going in here? That sign says it's dangerous," Sam said, pointing at a sign neither Tonks or Hagrid could see. "I feel like I shouldn't be here."

"Tha's cause yer a Muggle," replied Hagrid cheerfully as he worked a key into the hole of the door. "Yer probably the firs' Muggle to e'er see Hogwarts on the inside! Tha's a great honor, that is."

"It's okay, Sam. We're actually safer here than anywhere else in Britain right now," assured Tonks. "Thanks, Hagrid!" She let go of Sam's hand and they ran through the entrance hall to the staircases.

"Whoa!" yelled Sam, looking up at the many staircases, some of which were moving, and at the many portraits, all of which were moving.

"Bloody hell, I don't know where his office is. Professor Dumbledore!" Tonks shouted stupidly to the empty hall.

"Miss Tonks?" asked a familiar voice. Tonks inwardly cringed on impulse from hearing the voice that had given her so many detentions for her persistent clumsiness. McGonnagal was walking at a quick pace from around a corner. "What brings you here?"

"I need to see Professor Dumbledore right away."

"Of course," she said, leading them. They were well up the first staircase before McGonnagal asked, "and who is this?"

"Oh! So sorry. This is Sam Belton," Tonks said immediately. "He's a Muggle, Professor."

"A Muggle! In Hogwarts?" she asked, looking scandalized.

"You know, I am kind of tired of that word," sighed Sam, gazing dreamily at the moving portraits. "I'm also a Boy Scout, a Libra and a book enthusiast."

"That's very nice, Sam," McGonnagal said crisply, taking them up another staircase. "But I and Miss Tonks are witches."

"This is Professor McGonnagal," said Tonks. "She teaches Transfiguration."

"Transfiguration?" asked Sam.

"It is an elementary branch of magic," recited McGonnagal. "This way, Miss Tonks."

"You—you teach it, like a subject? Like maths?" he asked. "This is a school?"

"For wizards and witches," Tonks agreed, nodding. "I was taught here."

"His memory will be reversed, of course?" asked McGonnagal.

"Of course."

"What?" asked Sam, but Professor McGonnagal had clipped him off.

"Lollipops," McGonnagal, said, clapping her hands at a statue. Sam cried out as it stepped aside and revealed a door and a staircase.

"This is barking mad," he muttered, following Tonks and McGonnagal obediently through the door.

As usual, the office was airy, lined with books and sprinkled with odd, silver instruments. Tonks had never seen it before and was almost as mystified as Sam at the great, red bird sitting behind the Headmaster.

"Minvera, Tonks," he said congenially. "How are your healths?"

"In fit condition, Albus," McGonnagal returned swiftly. "Tonks says she has an urgent message for you."

"I daresay so," he replied. "Please sit." Two chintz armchairs appeared out of thin air, bumping slightly against the backs of Tonks' and Sam's knees, urging them to sit. Immediately, Tonks obliged, but Sam leapt away.

"Would you prefer to stand?" asked Dumbledore politely.

"That—that chair is magic, too, isn't it?" he asked, bewildered. "Cripes!"

"This is Sam Belton," said Tonks. "He's a—I mean, he was at the accident site of the Brockdale Bridge collapse. He and I were taken hostage by a Death Eater. They have a stronghold in the Forbidden Forest, Professor."

"I am aware of it," said Dumbledore gently. "But I believe they will not stand it long. The centaurs are very wary about wizards living in their midst, particularly ones of the Dark persuasion." His gaze moved over to the boy with his hands in his pockets, watching the chair warily. "Welcome to Hogwarts, Sam. You have nothing to fear here. I only ask your patience these few minutes for Tonks' report, and then I shall satisfy your curiosity. Please."

Something about Dumbledore's voice calmed him, and Sam nodded before sitting on the chair.

"They caused a—a hurricane, or something, in the West Country. Lots of Muggles were injured but the Aurors secured everything. Kingsley and I—they're not only controlling Dementors, but they've got Inferi, too."

"Kingsley did notify me."

"Then the bridge in Brockdale collapsed. I dunno how many are dead. Then a Death Eater, Alecto Carrow, she Side-Along Apparated me to the stonghold. I don't think there were any other Muggles there except Sam."

"I am grateful that you escaped," said Dumbledore. "It was Severus' doing, I imagine?"

"He helped, yeah." Tonks fell back into the cushy chair. She felt utterly exhausted. "What do you think I should do now?"

Dumbledore's eyebrows rose; Tonks remembered she was the Auror, she was the one supposed to be taking care of everything, but she was at a loss here.

"Perhaps you ought to see Madame Pomfrey about that head wound you have sustained," Dumbledore said evenly.

Tonks touched her head and felt it was wet for the first time. She looked at her fingers—red. Her stomach bubbled with nervousness at the sight of the blood.

"Don't we have to wipe his memory?" asked Tonks uncertainly.

"Sam?" asked Dumbledore, as though he were asking whether he wanted sugar or not in his tea. "What do you think? Should you like to keep your memory, or have it all recollection about this magical world you have stumbled upon today erased?"

"You mean, forget all this?" asked Sam, waving his hand around the office. "No way!"

"You realize, my dear boy, that you are bound to absolute secrecy about these affairs to others, such as to your friends and family?" asked Dumbledore.

"It's a secret? Magic?"

"Naturally," answered Dumbledore, nodding. "Otherwise, no doubt, it would not feel so foolish to believe."

"No one'd believe me anyway," shrugged Sam.

"You may take your leave, Tonks, if you wish to go to the hospital wing, while I explicate the finer points of our society to our guest," instructed Dumbledore.

"Yes, Professor," said Tonks, standing to leave. McGonnagal still stood next to the doorway.

"Prof—Minerva?" whispered Tonks as Dumbledore began to Sam. "Have you heard anything about Remus? Is he okay?"

"I believe he left last night," replied McGonnagal stiffly. "But there have been no further developments. You ought to see to that injury, Miss Tonks."

"Yes, ma'am," Tonks said automatically before descending the staircase.

* * *

A/N: That's a really awful place to end, so I'm sorry for that. This is the last chapter for a week or so. THERE IS MORE COMING. Please review! Thanks, you'll hear from me again soon.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: **As promised, here is another chapter. I'm all moved in and everything is good. I may not be able to update everyday as before, but I'll try hard to be diligent about it. Thanks for your patience!

* * *

Something was wrong.

Remus felt a warning in the back of his mind as the train from Nice to Berlin pulled out of the station. It was packed with Muggles speaking French and German, shuffling around and finding seats.

_Dear Nymphadora Tonks,_

He had decided on her full name. It was better than just her first name, which would irritate her, or only her surname, which sounded too informal to him.

_I hope this letter finds you well. I am traveling to Germany as I write this. The journey ahead is long. _

He thought of all the things he wished to write, but felt ridiculous reading…._I miss you…I love you…I want to come back and feed you chocolate cake all day_. _I'm scared_. Instead, he wrote:

_Please be safe and take care of yourself while I am gone. I can assure you that you are missed and that I am thinking of you._

_Sincerely,_

_Remus J. Lupin_

It was sincerely the worst letter he'd ever written. It wasn't half a sheet of parchment long, and not worth that parchment, either.

He didn't know how to tell Tonks how much she meant to him, or how he was sweating slightly, partly because of the heat and partly because he was thinking of her in danger. Nevertheless, he folded it carefully and tucked it in the breast pocket of his cloak.

"You're one of us," a hoarse voice whispered in his ear. "You're lookin' for him."

Remus was startled. He turned and instinctively felt for his wand.

The person who had spoken hadn't shaved in over week, was wearing old, dirty Muggle clothes, and was missing several teeth. He had all the looks of a common beggar, except for a mess of scars on his face, the intent, wild look in his eyes, and the rather evil-looking half-smile on his face.

"I beg your pardon?" asked Remus quietly. He looked around at the Muggles—none of them were listening; they were sleeping, immersed in newspapers or looking out the windows vacantly.

"None of those high words," he replied nastily. "You're one of us. I can smell it, and those scars aren't from knives nor fingernails neither. Those are claws' work."

So the scars marring his face were really as visible as he feared. He felt them burn gently under this man's gaze. He wondered fleetingly how Tonks could stand to look at him.

"What do you want?"

"Don't want nothin'," said the man, frowning. "But you're lookin' for him. I can take you there, mate."

"Who am I looking for?" Remus asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Him," he replied simply.

"Him who?"

"_Him_," the man insisted. He looked around nervously, then leaned close to Remus' ear. "_Greyback_."

Remus flinched, and the man nodded knowingly.

Fenrir Greyback. It was not a name Remus Lupin had heard in many, many years. Although he knew, logically, that Greyback was nothing compared with Voldemort, the name shot adrenaline through his heart much more so than any wizard's. He was not unwise and he knew his own fears; his boggart took the form of the full moon, and he feared the unleashed wolf. The man who created so much pain-

"Goin' myself," the man stated gruffly. "I know the way. You have to know the way." He gave Remus a questioning look, as if asking _Do _you_ know the way?_

"I was planning on going to The Lady's Neck in Minsk," Remus replied, "and to make my way east from there based on what I hear."

"The Lady's Neck?" laughed the man roughly. "That old blood-pipe joint? You must have lived under a rock for the last five years. We've all gone into hiding. Keep your ears open for six months at The Lady's Neck and you won't get squat. You're lucky I caught you before you got as far as Berlin."

Remus swallowed, deciding to play this grungy werewolf's game.

"All right. Where should I go to find them?"

"Come with me, for starters. The name's Lobo," he said holding a gloved hand out to shake. Lupin took it firmly. "I'm headed back to him, too. Deliverin' a top-secret letter." He tapped a ratty messenger bag that he was carrying.

"To whom?" asked Remus, without thinking.

"Ah, that's a secret, now, ain't it?" he cackled slightly. "Don't blame you for bein' curious, though. I'll tell you this—I think he's gonna move us out. He's from our homeland, don't you know, and he's tired of exile. He wants us to take it all."

The dreamy look in Lobo's eye chilled Remus.

"Move them," Remus whispered in horror. "Into—into Britain? To take over?"

"Just con-chect-shur," Lobo said, looking around at the unaware Muggles . "Better shut our yaps about it, for now. You in?"

"Yes," said Remus nodding. "I'm coming with you."

* * *

**A/N:** Disgustingly short, I know. More to come. R&R, please.


	14. Chapter 14

Ten kilometers outside of Berlin, Lobo and Remus checked into a shady inn with a German name, although Lobo and its English-speaking clientele referred to it as "The Blighted Bite."

After stowing his old, name-labeled trunk in the room they were sharing, they headed down to the bar for drinks. Although Remus would have infinitely preferred to call it a night, tracking Lobo's movements and taking stock of the werewolf population going east seemed more productive.

Most of the patrons in The Blighted Bite wouldn't be out of place at The Hog's Head—it catered to the dark cloaked, the hooded, and the apathetic toward cleanliness. Lupin was slightly surprised to find, in his father's shabby old robes, he looked positively affluent in this setting, although nothing to attract attention.

What did attract attention were two curious people sitting at the bar, calmly sipping water. One was a man with a curly brown beard and eyes, the other was a woman with death-white skin, snow-white hair and impossibly blue eyes. Both had dreamy, otherworldly expressions on their faces, but it could not have been more apparent that they were a couple, and that the three white-haired children playing on the dirty floor were theirs.

"'Evenin'," Lobo said, nodding to the man, who was sitting next to him. Lobo leaned in close to say quietly, "You're goin' to see him, arencha?"

The man turned and looked at Lobo serenely, as though beckoning him to continue. Lupin was reminded of Dumbledore's calmness, coupled with the wife's otherworldly blue eyes.

"You're goin' east to see the rest of our kind, and him," said Lobo, nodding vigorously.

"Yes," replied the man, not blinking. "That is my family's intention."

Lupin was startled; Somehow Lobo had the ability to detect other werewolves, and he had singled out this man—were the wife and the children also infected? He also noted that the man had an American accent—he was not European.

"Name's Lobo, and this is Romulus," Lobo said, pointing out Remus with the name he had given Lobo.

"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance," replied the man. His voice was smooth and unearthly, but monotone. "My name is Roger McClintock, and this is my wife, Kooa. These are our children you see behind me, Ootek, Simon, and Belle."

"Your accent is interesting," said Remus. "Are you American?"

"We are from the Arctic," replied Kooa. Her voice was much less human than Roger's; it seemed to be made purely of ethereal wind.

"Canada," added Roger, nodding.

"And you are—werewolves," Remus said in a low voice. But instead of anger or irritation at his voicing of the fact, they looked content at the recognition. They rolled up the sleeves of their white robes, revealing pink marks on their arms.

Remus was reminded of pictures he had seen of African tribesman branding. Both had startling white skin and what, on close inspection, were scars, but made so carefully that they looked like odd, pretty tattoos. He realized with horror that these were ceremonially procured bites.

"From the—forgive me, I do not know the equivalent in your common language—but we are from a clan," said Kooa.

"We live in the far north, where there is much snow," clarified Roger.

"But you're looking for him?" insisted Lobo.

"Yes," replied Kooa tranquilly. "We seek to understand his intentions. We represent our entire realm and have been sent as envoys."

"Do you know the way to him?" asked Lobo. "'Cuz, I know the way."

"No," replied Roger. "We have remained here for four days. But it was fate that we should meet. Don't you agree, Kooa?"

Kooa nodded.

"Yes," she said serenely. "There are no accidents. Our family will follow you to find our purpose." Her head turned slowly to her children playing on the floor. At once, they looked at her as well, abandoned their games, stood up and followed her up the back stairs to the rooms.

"Until tomorrow morning," said Roger, nodded to Lobo and Remus before following his wife and children. The family had an air of unfathomable cold that did not endear them to Remus.

Lobo scoped the bar, looking for more werewolves, but seemed unable to find any. He finished several drinks before going upstairs. Remus remained soberly, monitoring the patrons.

After locating an owl to send Tonks' letter, he went back to his bed to sleep.

* * *

It had only been three days and Remus could not remember being in such a somber and cold mood in the past three years. Even when Sirius died, he was surrounded by people he loved and who he hoped felt some affection for him. And Tonks had been there—Tonks, his personal Patronus against all the sorrows in his life.

Now, for company, he had Lobo and the Clan. Lobo was a wolf for hire—he had been home-schooled in magic after his bite, and his power was feeble, having been apathetically educated by mediocre wizards. His loyalty was to Greyback, who he had met in Britain before following him to the continent. Although Lobo was nowhere near as vicious as the chief werewolf, nor did he take any delight in causing pain, he supported the ideology of building the werewolf population. Lobo was much more like Remus than Remus cared to think about; both were looking for a place to belong.

The Clan, as Remus had secretly labeled them, were unlike anything Remus had ever dreamed of.

After a three-hour bus ride to a dark forest and a two-hour hike through that forest, the company stopped at a crossroads for the night at the insistence of Lobo, who claimed to know where he was going.

"Is that magic?" asked Roger, for the first time breaking his monotone voice to express astonishment as Remus' frustration at the bulky size of his suitcase was satisfied by a quick "_Reducio!_"

"Yes, of course," replied Remus, frowning at Roger. "It was a Reduction Charm."

"How do you do it?" he replied, picking up the trunk, which was now the size of a loaf of bread. He examined it carefully, as though looking for a wire.

"Are you a Muggle?" replied Remus, carefully studying Roger's face. Only his eyebrows knitted in a quizzical expression. "That is to say—a non-magical person? Do you know any magic?"

"No." Roger held out the tiny trunk for Remus to take. Remus was also surprised; he had never met a Muggle werewolf before. Since it was a cursed affliction, he took it for granted that this was not an illness, like dragon pox or spattergroit, that claimed victims exclusively magical.

"I see." Remus looked at the trunk in his hand. It was not normal for him to marvel at his own handiwork, but it must have been a marvel to behold from Muggle eyes. The tiny buckles, the handle that could be held with two finger, and the tiny _Romulus J. Lostkin_ inscription that Remus had already altered by magic were nothing short of a phenomenon. "I am a wizard," he said softly, touching the edges of the trunk before stowing it under his arm, "and magic is my common practice."

Roger said nothing, but looked rather frigidly toward Remus. It was an all-too common expression that Remus saw on the faces of people who recognized him. In only an hour, he could see that the Clan—Kooa and the children as well—were avoiding him, walking on the other side of Lobo whenever possible. They had not been particularly chatty before, but all communication with Remus ceased.

_You might have thought I just told them that I was a werewolf,_ thought Remus, slightly amused but mostly bitter.

In the long silences, Lupin chose to think about who he was working for. Often he thought about Harry and how he was holding up after Sirius' death. But Harry was very brave and so like his father. Then there was Neville Longbottom, who had secretly been Lupin's favorite student; he had fought beside Harry competently and Lupin thought he'd never been prouder of the boy. Hermione, of course, was that brilliant girl with such promise; he hoped someday that she would be the Minister of Magic, or the Headmistress of Hogwarts. And all the Weasley children, who felt like surrogate nephews (and niece) to Lupin, because of the unexpected sisterly affection he received from Mrs. Weasley and the kindness of Mr. Weasley. Luna Lovegood—Lupin couldn't remember being more sympathetic to a student—it wasn't as if he couldn't remember being called 'loony,' albeit for different reasons…

But mostly he thought about Tonks and what she was doing. Did she miss him? There was no way an owl could find him, and he longed to hear the young witch's voice, or to know what color her hair was today. At midnight he didn't sleep. _Nymphadora, Nymphadora_. He slowly mouthed the forbidden name, relishing the way it seemed to round gentle curves in his mouth when he said it. He loved it. He could guess why she hated it—it was so gentle and feminine—maidenly and motherly all in one. It did not suit the punkish Auror that could never be bothered to wear perfume or engage in any sort of vanity. But it really was her, deep down—the sweet, vulnerable Hufflepuff that cried on his shoulder and kissed him quietly after funerals. _Nymphadora_.

And deep down—farther than the poor werewolf wanted to delve—he could feel a sick fear mixing with unbridled affection, spewing up against his heart. _She is yours to protect_. _Can you protect her from yourself?_

* * *

"Tonks?"

Tonks looked up from the ground as she rubbed her head, walking down the hallway. The Auror chided herself for not watching where she was going properly. She found herself on the first floor, near the entrance hall.

"Wotcher, Sam," Tonks said, smiling at him, then at Professor McGonnagal, who was leading him. McGonnagal could manage only a tight-lipped spasm in return. "All right, Professor?"

"Dumbledore has given his permission for Sam's memory to remain intact," McGonnagal replied. "He instructs you to return him to his place of residence and ensure his safety there."

"Can do, Professor. And I know it's none of my business," Tonks said, looking up at the ceiling. "But isn't that Ministry business, deciding who can and can't have their memory?"

"Typically. But these are atypical times, Miss Tonks. If you'll excuse me." And with no other farewell, she swept off up the stairs again.

Tonks and Sam were now walking out of the entrance hall and out onto the grounds; Tonks traveled the well-remembered path to Hogsmeade with Sam keeping up credibly.

"I really can't believe all this."

"That's all right," assured Tonks. "My dad's fathers were Muggles, and until he was eleven he had no idea his was a wizard himself. He threw away three Hogwarts letters before he was convinced that it wasn't a joke. Of course, when Dumbledore showed up at his house and made the begonias overtake the cherry tree in the yard…" Tonks laughed at the thought but Belton looked at her with a sense of longing.

"It's not fair, is it?" he asked, frowning. "That you wizards have—all this power. I mean, we—we _Muggles_ are just a bit of a joke, aren't we? It's a wonder that we aren't all killed already, or farmed like sodding livestock."

"That's not true," Tonks protested. She waved to Hagrid, who sat outside his hut, poking at a fire. He waved cheerfully back. "That's Hagrid over there, and he can't use magic, but he has a way with nasty beasts."

"Hagrid's the size of a bulldozer."

"A what?"

"A bulldozer?" asked Sam, his eyes widening. "It's a machine, it moves around dirt."

"See, that's another thing that's great about Muggles," Tonks said cheerfully. "They make all these gadgets and do-dads that help them without magic." Tonks bit her lips thoughtfully and gave Sam a half-smile. "To be honest, most witches and wizards would be rather useless without their powers. Some wouldn't know how to feed themselves or tie their shoes in the morning without a spell or two. We rely on magic, probably too much. We don't evolve, we don't develop—all we do is make more spells and more potions. We'll come out with a new broomstick every once in awhile, but look at me-" (she grabbed the front of her witch's robes) "-I'm wearing the same kind of clothes my great-grandmothers wore a thousand years ago."

"Seriously?" he asked

"Yeah, really," nodded Tonks enthusiastically. She could see the smoking chimney stacks of Hogsmeade. Everything seemed a little dark and hazy; all of the windows were shut and no one was walking on the streets. "Muggles—they've made buildings hundreds of meters tall, they've got those aeroplanes—and I've heard, but is it true, that they've put men on the _moon_?" asked Tonks eagerly.

"True," replied Sam, smiling now. "We did do that."

"And looks at us wizards—we've got magic, but so what?" asked Tonks. "We're in hiding. And you know why the Dark wizards want to kill Muggles so much? It's probably because, deep down, they're scared. More and more, there are wizards like my dad, who are born to Muggle parents and have Muggle ways before they come to Hogwarts. The Dark ones don't want change—they say they don't want mud blood—but really, they just don't want _new _blood."

"Oh, I understand much better now," said Sam, pensively staring into the village as they approached it. "Like—Palestinians and Israelis?"

"What are those, types of rocks?" asked Tonks, trying to appear intellectual as she stuck out her wand arm to call the Knight Bus.

"Not exactly," replied Sam. "They're-"

But he was cut off by the sound of 'BANG!', a flash and the appearance of a purple, triple-decker bus.

"Knight Bus," explained Tonks to a stupefied Sam as she tossed a Galleon to the disembarking conductor, who promptly embarked once again. "Brockdale."

"Not going there, Miss," the conductor said with a firm headshake. "No matter how much gold's comin' to our pockets."

"Do you have an aunt, somewhere?" whispered Tonks. "Grandparents?"

"My friend Monty has a flat in London," suggested Sam. "Kind of dingy, but he'll take me for a few days before I can get back to Brockdale. It's in Charing Cross Road."

"The Leaky Cauldron, then," said Tonks to the conductor, who nodded.

"The Leaky _what?_" asked Sam. "You know what? Never mind, I don't need to know."

The bus was mercifully more empty than the last time Tonks had used it half a year ago. The chandelier looked slightly more wobbly and the beds seemed to slide around more. Tonks took him to the back and sat in the same seat she had the night of the mass breakout. Sam unknowingly took Lupin's seat.

It was the first chance they'd had to properly relax and let the bus work its magic. Perhaps instinctively, Sam followed Tonks' rhythmic breathing, sucking in when the bus began to squeeze between lanes, cars and buildings, and exhaling as it let go. He turned and looked at her.

"I never thanked you properly for saving me," he said, an earnest look on his face. He had freckles that reminded her of Weasleys, but there was no trace of a red hair among his dusty blond ones.

"It's my job," said Tonks modestly, but smiled nonetheless.

"All the same, even Life-savers or whatever you're called have to eat. Can I make you dinner?" he asked sheepishly.

"Oh!" asked Tonks, flustered. "That's really nice, but—I don't want to make trouble for your friend."

"Nah, he'll be thrilled, he'll love your hair," he said appreciatively, glancing up at the pretty pink spikes.

"Well, I guess I'll have to put protective Charms on the flat anyway," said Tonks with a half-smile. "Why not?"


End file.
